WTFH

... Right, g'morning, Fandom. This is Jonothon Starsmore, broadcasting to you courtesy of a pack of bloody pushy squirrels who to this day still haven't grasped that if you come into my home to try to haul me out of bed before noon, I won't go out of my way to stop them from being pounced on by the cats.

We have cats, mates.

And now I have notes. Which I suppose I'll read, haven't got anything else to do today besides stare out at the wastelands in horror. Looks like yesterday, people had plenty t'do, though. There was detention for the first time in... lord, six years, which I think might be a solid indication that Madrox's time on the island has desensitized the faculty to the hijinx of the student body. Or else the students just aren't trying hard enough, one of those. In any case, Skywalker had Prompto, Nina, Vette, and... Kanan? hard at work cleaning and touching up the bus. Sounds like Vette was thrilled to be there if only for the helmet and offered to do more art as thanks, to Skywalker's horror, Nina was absolutely not making plans to put an inflatable unicorn in his office, and Prompto spent at least part of the day telling Nina about his plans for the helmets.

At Luke's, Miguel wasn't serving radroach, but he was serving filtered water. Useful. Dite's yesterday was apparently a drug-filled purveyor of kink, horrors, and probably tetanus, but at least Dante was there to bring Kathy some takeout from Limbo City. Breq opened Groovy Tunes in spite of the bug infestation - remind me to put a bonus on your next pay - and at Covent Garden, Seivarden put a discount on anything that had grown tentacles in this place.

... I imagine those would just be vines.

Sidon was a man on a mission yesterday, wooing and cajoling the Portalocity Gnomes until they agreed to figure out why Vette can't get home, and he was eventually joined by Vette herself, who was still entirely too enthusiastic about the helmet she got in detention. And, finally, at Caritas, Mike arrived to find that all of the drinks had become Nuka-Cola.

It's news like this that makes me just sit back and bask in the schadenfreude.

And that's all of it, so I'm going to escort these squirrels out before Joni catches another one. Until the next time the squirrels have nobody better to harass.

In like a lion, innit? Good morning, Fandom. You've made it to Friday again. And to March, for what that's worth. This is Jonothon Starsmore once again, and once again, I've got notes.

Please, do contain your excitement.

We'll start, as per usual, at the school, where Arts and Crafts made soap, Culture Shock discussed the spring break trip, and Problem Solving watched a creepy puppet film. Jack was holding office hours, as well, doing the ball-against-the-wall thing.

In town, Vette had ham sandwich rain at Syndulla Scrap. I... am apparently actually reading that right. And it wasn't the island?

*Chittering*

It wasn't the island.

At Furnado, Sidon was telling stories about Iceland to the fish while he cleaned the tanks. Hardison was giving away soap at Luke's - not for eating - and at Wellspring Arms, Sabine was studying up on her Icelandic. In not-actually-people-being-employed news, Jack met Sparkle at the Portalocity office to go see a guy about a tattoo.

And that's the news, in a loose manner of speaking, so I'll be off now. Until next time, Fandom.

Fandom! Good morning, all. This is Jonothon Starsmore here with a lot of detailed notes from America's... third? Fourth most needlessly commercialized holiday, and this might be the largest stack of notes I've seen, personally, in years. So let's have a splash of that rum in my coffee this morning and we'll get going on this, shall we?

*Chittering?*

Fine, thank you. And you?

*Chittering!*

( Sounds like a personal problem. )

H'lo?

*Chittering*

... Ah, squirrels. In my house. So I take it this phone call is being broadcast to the island.

*Chittering!*

Right, fine, just give me th'bloody notes, then. Hello, Fandom. This is Jon Starsmore, and apparently the rodents are in the habit of doing housecalls again. So we'll get right to it, starting with the school, where Hardison had his class working with resin in Dollar Store Arts and Crafts, Kanan and Summer had rancors and gremlins and cats - oh my - in Culture Shock, which Sabine and Lana both figured were worth commenting to Kanan about. In Problem Solving and You, Magnus and Cara explained Valentine's Day to the class. Also, punching. Punching... might mean you've got the definition of 'healthy relationship' a little confused, there. Jack was bored and holding her office hours, as well. So, naturally, Kanan had to interrupt to complain about his gremlin troubles.

Nothing in the dorms - slackers, just the way you ought to be - but in town, we had Sidon putting in extra time at Furnado, Vette drinking too much coffee at the junkyard, and Octavia taking Valentine's orders at Covent Garden. Fenris stopped in asking about the holiday, and apparently this led to complaints about whether flowers were even practical or not, and something about an elk. I don't want to know, I feel that not knowing might give me plausible deniability, here. Liam was fencing over at Atlas Gym, which led to mandatory heckling from and an impromptu lesson for Beau and an explanation of fencing for Octavia, who didn't seem terribly impressed. And, finally, Hernando had hot chocolate over at T42, which led to Kanan asking about chocolate from Mexico.

... I miss chocolate. Is that really the note you hairy little blighters had to end all of this on? Honestly, that's just bloody rude.

In any case, that's the news, and this is Jon Starsmore, hanging the bloody hell up now.

Twice in one week, hm? You lot must've really missed me.

*Chittering*

Or your censor button is on the fritz and you don't trust your Saturday regular to not get you kicked off the air. You could've just let me have my delusion, you know. Honestly, now. Give me those bloody notes.

Hello, Fandom. This is Jonothon Starsmore, once again, because apparently the squirrels think I have some manner of verbal filter. And this is the news.

Over at the school, Civics class was called on account of Thanksgiving, but Pay it Forward did a little Black Friday shopping for charity. I'd say making students go out into that mess ought to be illegal, but they were buying toys for children, and I really can't find room to complain about that. Near the end of class, Sidon approached Hera asking if lightly used baby things could be used by the charity of choice, as well as--

*Chittering!*

Well, why would you write the note if you want it to be a surprise? Honestly, now.

The dorms were rather quiet, but town seemed to have a bit of activity in it. Fenris was disappointed over having just missed pumpkin spice latte season over at the Perk. In Kanan's warehouse, Kanan was working off some frustration regarding a stolen ship, but put down his blade to text with Rey for a while, discuss the ship thief situation with Kaidan, and answer puppy related questions from Lana.

Prompto's Furnado shift was spent frustrated due to a slacker on duty in the shift before. Vette was late for her C.I.C. shift, but that didn't stop a determined Sidon from catching her on shift with pizza... eventually. Kaidan also paid her a visit, mostly to give her a piece of his mind for getting caught doing something she shouldn't.

Yeah, those squirrels'll really ruin your day.

*Chittering!*

Oy! No throwing acorns in the house! I will open the door and let Joni in.

That's better.

Nina was in an excellent mood at the Magic Box at least until Kanan swung by to scold her about stealing his ship - hard to read these notes, apparently the squirrel attempted to write down another language phonetically. I won't insult whoever actually speaks it by butchering it, anyway. Kaidan also made an appearance, opening with a slow clap, which, as we all know, is a tried and true method of getting a teenager to willingly hear you out when you're about to bite into them over something stupid they've done. Mate, we'll have to work on your approach to teens, perhaps.

Later in the evening still, Hernando was antsy at home, and so he called up Kaidan to make plans. And at Caritas, Tino was giving Fjord dirty looks for... lord only knows. It's Tino. At any rate, Amaya stopped by for her weekly ale and to perhaps give Fjord a difficult time about juice boxes, and Nina stopped by a little later, looking a bit out of sorts but ending up with a hard lemonade to help blunt her urge to hit something.

Probably for the best. Hitting things in Caritas this time of year would end in a significantly more unpleasant experience than most people might care for.

And that appears to be all there is. Until the next time the squirrels remember I have a fancy phone, take care. Try not to steal any spaceships where squirrels can see you.

... I've just actually been dragged to the bloody radio station in order to do a call-in show. Here I am, at the radio station, with a stack of notes in front of me, and I'm on my phone because it is literally the only thing on the island that can pick up my voice.

I could've stayed in bed for this. Rolled over when I was done and gone right back to sleep. Watched my cat try to catch the squirrels.

And therein lies the reason I'm here and not there, I suppose. Here, just give me the bloody notes, would you?

*WHUMP*

( Welcome Picnic Radio! )

… Lord, you were all busy yesterday. I shouldn't be surprised, I know. I mean, this is Fandom, and all. It seems as though the more reasons the island gives people to not go outside, the more likely they are to do so.

You're all a pack of bloody morons. I say this knowing full well that I'm the one who had to make his way from the Boards to the radio station in order to tell you this, so, yes, I'm including myself on that list. Now let's get these bloody notes out of the way, shall we?

( News from Friday the 13th! )

I am holding, in my hand, a single sheet of paper. One. There are four sentences scribbled onto it, and I'm meant to assume that these are the notes.

... There's actually nobody left on the island right now, is there? You've all run home to your turkey dinners and sweet potato pies and I'm alone on the island with... *papers rustling* Éponine, Sparkle, Alec, Allie, and Tiny. That's how it is, isn't it? Éponine, who was humming up at the sky in the park so late Thursday night that it might as well have been Friday. Sparkle, who was making a point to eat his leftover turkey in front of the metal rooster at Dite's. Alec, who was trying to sell katanas to an empty island at Freedom Arms using exclamation points. And Allie, who was keeping company with Tiny and his black eye at the Devil's Nest.

So, that's that. Éponine, Sparkle, Alec, Allie, and Tiny, if you're even listening, have a good Saturday. If there's anyone else on the island that I didn't mention, yes, I suppose I hope you have a good weekend, too.

Once upon a time, there was a strange little island. It was so strange, in fact, that it sometimes did things to the people that lived there. Weird things. Things that followed them even when they weren't on the island at all. And that, boys and girls, is how I found myself sitting in a large supply closet in Glacia with a pack of squirrels, sensitive portable radio equipment, a stack of notes, and a promise of cookies to all the good little children here in Glacia with me who aren't trying to get inside to poke at any of the above.

( Bribing Small Children Radio )

They really ought to make working on Saturdays illegal. Or, at least, working before noon on a Saturday. Good morning, Fandom Island. This is Jonothon Starsmore with your Saturday morning WTFH news broadcast, wishing I was still rolling around on my living room sofa, attempting to sleep.

How is this different from any other Saturday morning broadcast? It's really not. In any case, I have notes, and I have coffee, so let's get this over with, shall we?

Over at the school, Criminal Justice worked on costuming. Because just what this island needs is more nitwits running around in capes and cowls fighting all the crime that never happens in our streets, really. Cultural Exploration headed to Mexico for the Dia De Los Muertos celebrations. Space-Exclamation-Point talked about what it takes for planets to facilitate alien life, and students from that Princess Stealing class were let out early to go collect candy for the Ice King.

Over in the library, Billy had candy to share while he re-shelved every book on plate tectonics they had, and elsewhere, Student Council met to discuss plans for a Thanksgiving potluck.

Speaking of Thanksgiving, Doctor Lecter sent out his invitations to a Thanksgiving dinner party at his place in Baltimore, yesterday. If you got one and you haven't tasted his cooking yet, lord, are you in for a treat.

Over in the town, Sparkle was handing out Halloween treat bags at Dite's, a day late. At Caritas, Mike was looking up drinks that he could include candy in while creeping Tino out with a severed head, and at the Devil's Nest, Allie was doing research on hosting a party.

And that seems to be all of the notes, so I'm going to take my coffee and get th'hell out of here. Have a good weekend, Fandom.

Good morning, Fandom. This is Jonothon Starsmore, single-handedly clearing out the radio station this morning after a Portalocity stopover that involved sitting in a waiting area made completely of soft French cheeses. I'm going to make this broadcast quick so that I can get home, unpack, attempt to wash off the cat without getting too terribly mauled - say hello, Joni - shower, and then sleep. Most importantly, sleep.

So, broadcasting live from our Fandom Island location to the three of you left on the island, I bring you news of what everyone else was doing in Italy without us.

Apparently vacationers were relocated to Florence yesterday morning. I'm not certain where they were before, but I hear Florence is nice this time of year. Or... something. Though Kitty liked her room in the last place more. In Florence, there's the Accademia Museum, where Cade and Topher talked about checking out David's behind and just generally causing a nuisance. Since I'm not on this trip, and you lads aren't likely to be listening to this, I'm not going to bother with the stern lecture. You're welcome. For those still on the island who are listening, let it be known that Cade also compared the size of his personal assets to those of David for Maddie's... I'm not going to say benefit, because I can't imagine she wanted to know. At the Duomo, Alec and Isabel talked about how she wanted to stay in tonight, and... there's a smear of some manner of Italian pasta sauce across the rest of the note, so you'll have to go without hearing what they were talking about. Gert took in the political culture at the Palazzo Vecchio, and while shopping for Prada, Cordelia informed Hannibal that teachers and students aren't supposed to acknowledge that one another so much as exist outside of class. News to me, honestly.

The trip, of course, continued on into the evening. Isabelle and Isaac stayed in last night at the hotel while she worked on getting him drunk. Jackson was alone in his hotel room last night after telling his roommate to leave him alone for the evening. Theo didn't seem terribly upset about that development, having dinner at the L'Incontro restaurant. Meanwhile, Maddie and Jim were sampling the wares at the bar. At the gym, Flick relaxed in the steam room and Kitty worked out. Dr. Lecter took in the sights around the city's streets, Anakin appreciated the city's fine dining and finer wine, and Jessica informed Cade that he actually almost looked classy last night while he was eating pasta and drinking wine at a cafe.

In related news, I'm tired and I reek of camembert and these clothes will never be the same again and I hate you all a little.

Moving on to news around Fandom's Town, Sam Traynor was having technical difficulties at the Portalocity office getting several portals to work, which I imagine explains my stopover du fromage last night. Allie brought a book with her to work at the Devil's Nest, correctly anticipating a slow night. Mike didn't even bother with his Caritas shift, opting to stay home with coffee. I, for one, think he made the correct choice. Derek wanted to know if he was staying around for the evening, and they wound up sharing brownies of a not-at-all-questionable nature while watching the telly and talking about cage dancing.

... Those sound like some brownies.

Jack Priest and Mike talked about wanting to watch Derek's behaviour, presumably because of the brownies, and how it was quiet last night. Presumably because of Italy. Derek wound up sharing his brownies with Jack as well, and they contemplated watching something with breasts and horror, or else maybe putting glowing stars on the ceiling. Because why not. Continuing our notes of Derek's descent down the rabbit hole, he encouraged Stiles to throw a party, and there's something about how Oreos don't taste like pumpkin, and then Jack wanted to know if Stiles was there to laugh at them, and something about Derek and English class and I actually think the squirrels were into the brownies as well. It's hard to tell without being able to ask them, and that's all of the notes, so I'm not going to worry too much about it.

No, instead, I'm going home. Good day, Fandom. The... six of you actually on the island, then. Good day.

Jono: You know, squirrels, I do appreciate your dedication to getting this broadcast on the air every day, but there are about a million pages of notes, and I do appear to have company this weekend.

*Chittering*

Jono: … Help? What do you mean, you brought help? We still need to take turns reading, having an assist doesn't actually mean we finish any faster.

*... Chitter.*

Jono: No, I didn't think you did think about that.

*A door slams*

Quentin Quire: -- I mean, really? Squirrels? I know for a fact there's no Squirrel Girl on the island, though that would be hilarious since I guess Dr. Doom is a teacher he-WHOAPOCA-oh. No, it's just Chamber. That's some look for you, teach.

Jono: I hate you already.

( Parents' Weekend Radio )

Ugh, I'm never going to get used to these Saturdays, I don't think. Though I suppose I should be thankful. Yesterday was Friday the thirteenth and I wasn't attacked when I climbed out of bed that morning. And today, whatever it is that's causing those decidedly masculine girly screams through town hasn't touched me.

*Chittering*

Hm? Oh, it's that again? ... Heh. Well, provided people provide their own underthings, if transformed ladies are especially desperate for something to wear that fits them, they're welcome to peruse the costume racks at the Boards. Most of what's in there is more or less normal clothing. My apologies if you had your hearts set on astronaut or chicken costumes, though. I burned those back in the spring.

( Saturday the Fourteenth Radio )

... You squirrels do know I'm just a touch more out of town than simply 'out of town,' I hope? How in the world did you even get recording equipment to bloody Glacia? ... Actually, no, I don't want to know. I have an army to train and I know how persistent you are. Let's just get this over with, shall we?

( Slightly Distracted Radio! )

Tuesday again? Bloody hell, it feels like no time at all since I was in here last. Time must fly when you spend the better part of a week passed out in exhaustion on the sofa, I suppose. And, as usual, there are notes. As a personal favour to you, the residents of the island, and to the squirrels who dragged me here, I'll make this quick. Besides, I have a sofa to get back to.

The School was rife with finals this week, with Philosophy Class listing all the films they've seen this year and writing about what John Dewey would say about them. Hopefully those students don't have difficulties with pragmatism. So many people on this island do. American Feminism talked about the effect feminism has had on their own lives, instead of a final. Flight's final involved running diagnostics on and repairing an X-wing - and that name will never not make me look twice - before they could fly the thing. Anakin Solo spoke to Jaina about how he already did this back home, which she already knew, because Fandom, and timelines. This place. In the library, William stepped onto a soil-covered floor on account of Earth Day, and Apathy Club was apathetic about meeting for what was probably the last time.

... Actually, I'm not apathetic about that. That club was a big part of my high school years.

Moving along to the Dorms, Mini-Anakin returned from a trip home, the one mentioned earlier, most likely, in time for class. Jim was sort of reading a book in his room, where Natalie stopped by to interrupt with cookies, since an open door is essentially an open invitation. Around here, that's true enough. And Mercy went to sit up on the roof after going for a run.

And in Town, Cade was testing his battlebot against other droids at Stark Industries, so be mindful of flying robot parts, hm?

That's all for my notes here, so I'm going to leave, now. I'm certain you're all broken up inside about that. Take care, Fandom.

Navan: Whazzat?

Jono: What's wha- Ah, it's you. The squirrels neglected to mention that I'd have company for this impromptu Sunday morning broadcast. You can run along now, luv. I'll take it from here.

Navaan: What are you talking about? I showed up here last night to get drunk with the squirrels.

*Indignant chitter*

Oh, fine. Get drunk with and also play poker. Which reminds me--who ended up with my shirt?

Jono: … I think some squirrels have passed out on it. Here, take my coat.

Navaan: ...Why?

Jono: It might get drafty? … No? ( Right. I'll just read these notes. )

There's apparently a secret to getting into the radio station unmolested by walnuts. And that secret, which I'm going to share with you now, is to cross the picket lines with your friend's three-legged pit bull while combining the trip to the station with walkies while she's a mouse in your pocket.

I almost took him home, first, but I have little patience for physical assault. Odd how that works, innit?

*Wurf.*

That's right, Cliff. You're a good boy. Now, I have notes, here, though they appear to be written in some manner of deer-scratch. Except for these ones that were written in... pseudo-English with what I think is a smattering of Japanese. I'll struggle through the best I can, I suppose, starting with notes from the School, where Jaye had nuts thrown at her by protesters before showing her Philosophy class He Just Doesn't Like You That Much. I suggest you get a dog, Jaye. It's like a police escort, on squirrel terms.

*Wuff.*

American Feminism talked about Black Feminism, which is what happens when several forms of discrimination all stack up to create a sort of... parfait of oppression, thus proving that people are horrible. But on a lighter note, Flight class flew Boeing 747s. Flying is good, right?

There were stickers in Apathy Club- Or at least that's what I'm assuming by the little gold stars next to the way the deer scrawled the club's name. And in the Library, William disapproved of squirrels attempting to get to the books about making a still. I don't know... would they still be hurling walnuts at people?

*Woof.*

Good boy. Now, in the Dorms, Natalie was nursing a hangover in the second floor common room when Emily came in, noted that she had a good time, and then... something about how people go home more often than the mainland, I think. A few of these words are in Japanese. Like the one I'm assuming to be 'in.'

Moving along to Town, where Cade was... either helpful or hopeful at Stark Industries, new Mayor, Ron *radio feedback* Swanson- I don't think that *radio feedback* is actually in his name, but I could be mistaken- was dealing with his new position as mayor after trying to drop off some papers at Town Hall. There was either giggling or gurgling involved, I can't quite make out which. Alice was joining the post St. Patrick's hangover crowd during her shift at Wellspring Arms.

At the Devil's Nest, Jack was stuck with no rum and sad reggae, and now I'm going to have to listen to Bob Marley when I head back home, thanks for that note. Kaidan complained about deer trying to eat his pants, and I'm going to choose to interpret that the way I grew up knowing that word, because that makes it twice as amusing.

And of course, outside, the squirrels were still picketing while chittering little squirrel protest songs. And all power to them, I like them, they bring me coffee in less troubled times. But if on my way out I get hit with a single walnut, I'm taking Cliff off his leash.

*Wuff*

Good day, Fandom.

Honestly, squirrels, you keep following me around bloody Glacia with that radio equipment, and you're going to give away our location to people we'd really rather not give our location away to. So I'm going to make this quick, and you're going to leave, go back to the island. Drink something hot with rum in it. I'll be jealous.

But for now, give me the notes. Yes, yes, let's start with School. Philosophy class got to sign their attendance today on a receipt before leaving again, which seems like a promising start to the new semester. American Feminism watched a TED talk about the woman behind the... Miss Representation documentary? I might have to look into that one, myself. And it was all jetpacks and flying around in Flight class, with Karina speculating about jetpack controls to a distracted Evan, and Anakin- the younger Anakin- talking to Jaina about his bad trip home.

No good can ever come of going home. One of the first lessons I learned on Fandom Island. That, and 'people aren't going to let you mope. Stop trying.'

In the Dorms, Anakin was attempting to settle in after that trip gone wrong, as was Evan, who told Karina about his trip over ice cream, got postcards and hugs from Sholeh while telling her that his life is a lie... Ah... And... he cried on Yeul's shoulder while making her promise him that she won't hate him, even if he's a monster.

... Come now, lad. You already look like me. Don't you go starting to talk like me, too.

Moving along to Town, we had Cade at Stark Industries lamenting the loss of a camel, Hanna a bit out of sorts after her break while trying to do work at Demon Marcus and I'm sensing that this might be a trend after this spring break, and Alice trying to figure out marketing strategies at Wellspring Arms. Presumably to advertise the guns she isn't allowed to sell anyway. You'd do better offering meditation, I think. It seems like a few people are in desperate need of something relaxing, this week.

And that's all there is. Which means I'm taking these squirrels and throwing them out into the bloody snow. Honestly.

Good morning, Fandom. It's Tuesday again, is it? And the last Tuesday before spring break, no less. You must all be crawling up the walls in anticipation. What are they doing this year? Boats, isn't it?

... I was once kidnapped off a boat by a flying, flaming skeleton. I'll leave you all to it, then, and in the meantime I'll read these notes.

( Radio! )

And once again, it is a Tuesday. A morning, on a Tuesday. A morning on a Tuesday, and it's cold, and it's raining, and it's miserable. It's like I'm home again, really. And, on top of it all, I have notes. I'll read those now, and maybe when I'm finished the rain will have stopped and I can slog back to the Boards in relative dryness.

( Tuesday Radio! )

You know, I woke up this morning, and I didn't have hooves, or breasts, or a small child bouncing on my chest. And I know it's a Tuesday and these things seem to favour the weekends, but it's been two full weeks since the new semester started and I haven't so much as had a wrong number hit my telephone.

I'm suspicious.

( Slightly Suspicious Radio )

Another semester, another stack of notes. Another stack of notes, another list of names that I don't know. At least the squirrels brought me coffee this time. They're learning, I think.

Hello, residents of the island new and old. This is Jonothon Starsmore, your Tuesday morning radio newsman. Or, rather, 'news' man. Today's news will almost certainly consist at least substantially of how teachers had students introduce themselves in class. Here, I'll prove it to you.

( Introduction Radio )

Good morning, Fandom. Or, rather, good morning, anybody still left on the island, as I imagine a good number of you are headed home for the next few weeks, hm? This is your regularly scheduled Tuesday morning radio broadcast, and I'm Jonothon Starsmore, here to tell you everything you wish you didn't know about the people with whom you share the island.

You're welcome.

Because it's the winter break, there's nothing to report from the school today. At the Dorms, then, Jim commandeered the second floor common room in order to ignore tiny reindeer and watch television in celebration of the break. Yeul, meanwhile, was in her room, petting and cuddling with the deer as she read a book.

Ours is a truly exciting island on break weeks.

In Town, Jack was drinking Scotch at the Devil's Nest when Kaidan stopped in, helped him with his reindeer problem, and informed him that he'd be away in Vancouver for the next few weeks. And then Jack and Emma discussed whether or not Portalocity was going to cooperate so that they could do all of the holiday partying that they had in mind.

... Emma was here? I... clearly need to get out more.

And out in the preserve, Derek was taking Puppy Joe out for a walk when they found themselves surrounded by miniature deer. Max stopped to watch the epic puppy-versus-deer battle that ensued, and Derek assured him that his puppy could absolutely hold his own. There's no word on who won the battle, so I'm going to go out on a limb and say the reindeer won by playing dirty when their tag-team partners stepped into the ring wielding ladders and collapsible chairs.

And that's all of the notes. There's a bear outside the door offering me a bottle of Coke, so I'm going to take him up on that, and leave you all with a 'don't burn down the island during break week.'

Sometimes I wonder how it is that these squirrels manage to actually get me out of bed for this job. And then there are mornings like this morning, where they actually saddled up my cat and had her stand on my chest. Not just walk across. Not sit on. Stand.

If you've never had a cat stand on you, trust me, you aren't missing out. If you've never had a cat stand on bruises, you're bloody lucky. So I'm going to read these notes, and I'm going to give dirty look to the rodeo squirrels while I do so.

*... Squeak.*

First off, in the School, Philosophy 102's film of the day was... Mansquito? That sounds horrible. I might have to add it to my video collection. Two Lions watched Wildcat in Snow, which is both rather more tasteful, and a classic, which I can also appreciate. And How to Start a Business was the odd one out again this week with reviews for the final next week, rather than a film day.

That's next week. Where did this semester go?

Science! Club yesterday was about attempting t'do the impossible, apparently, with club members working on a perpetual motion machine. That's ambitious.

Over in the Dorms, Jim was shirtless, sweaty, and reading on his bed, which I suppose might appeal to some of you bibliophiles out there? If you ask me, he probably ought to get a shower. But nobody ever asks me.

And in Town, Cade was making use of his time at Stark Industries to go on a little trinket hunt. Don't get me started on how many of those things my cat dragged out. Jack was catching up on work at the Devil's Nest while digging out more little gifts. April stopped by with coffee and they talked about gifts they wanted as children, and about how it's a little eerie when the island does nice things. At the Magic Box, Surreal had a book of seasonal spells out and was working on making displays. And down at Efferton Manor, Porthos was moving in.

Turn back while you still can, Monsieur du Vallon.

At the Perk, Stiles' head was one with the top of his table. I've had days like that. Topher offered to help Stiles on the homework that he'd fallen behind on, which I would say was actually a shockingly generous move on Topher's part, except then the notes say the conversation veered to Derek, sex, and rubber gloves, and I just... have no words. Kitty suggested that Stiles perhaps just never go back home again after he told her about her last trip, which I imagine is why his head was on the desk, and then they talked about babysitting Derek. Which, I'll remind you, was mentioned in the conversation previous alongside sex and rubber gloves. We can add pet names to that list, once Laurie informed Stiles that he'll always be her little friend and they got to talking, and then Stiles invited Jack to his lacrosse game next week, an invitation that presumably has nothing to do with babysitting Derek with rubber gloves.

The things I report around here.

And that's all for my notes, so I'm going to go and... pour some coffee into my face or something. This is Jonothon Starsmore, signing off.

Ah, Fandom. We've survived another one of those weekends, and, as usual, I get to report on the aftermath. I shall endeavour to keep personal feelings on the nature of this weekend's strangeness from colouring my broadcast too much, but so help me, I'm actually jealous of a few of you.

A touch. Nothing particularly noteworthy, really.

... You know what? I'm just going to read these notes.

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