WTFH

Good morning. It seems our usual host isn't here, and I have a few guesses as to why that could be, so this is Zoe Winchester with all the notes and gossip from yesterday. At the school, the assembly was actually more of a concert. Maeve and Shuri hoped there wouldn't be songs about Christianity or abstinence - the first idea is far too constricting, and I think it's safe to say we gave up on the second idea long ago. Also, Fig and the Cig Figs definitely did not appear to the the type to push an organized religion, so there's that.

In town, the Modern Earth Entertainment attendees tried to watch a darker movie, but got a cute movie about horses instead. Shunsui tried to figure out what to do with the live turkeys that were at Turtle and Canary... not going to ask questions, just moving on. Lucille had a calm walk on the beach, and Octavia was back behind the bar at the Devil's Nest. Jessica finally got to meet her, and offered to buy her a drink for having been stuck as an animal for so long, and Duke just stopped in for a moment. At Caritas, Summer was excited to see the holiday decorations, although Lucifer pointed out it was still a little early for it. Jesse made the mistake of mentioning haggis when it comes to jello shots, so look forward to that in the future. Annie was excited about the holiday spirit and talked to Summer about Thanksgiving plans, and she and Jesse delighted in not being ponies anymore. It is definitely worth celebrating. Rey and Annie talked about making the most of the holidays - oh, don't worry, this place won't let us forget them - and Summer checked in with Rey about how her pony experience was. Eleanor tried to get Rey to try the shrimp jello shot, and Stark tried the maple one instead despite Eleanor encouraging him to go for the shrimp one as well. There are just some things that are not meant to be taken in via drink. Rey tried to warn Stark away from Eleanor, and Annie was also glad to see Stark as a person and not a pony. After singing, Eleanor got her shot and Summer tried to keep her from drinking too much.

That seems to be everything from the squirrels, so I hope... well, I hope you're all doing well today. Make sure you take lots of pictures, for no particular reason.

[Apologies for the delay, sigh.]

Good morning, this is Zoe. It appears our usual host is out of town, since I was accosted by squirrels--

*chittering*

--all right, I was gently accosted by squirrels with notes. Let's see how everyone's been... well, keeping themselves occupied. At the school, Weapons 101 covered working with axes, both the swinging and the throwing types, and the Wilderness Adventures class learned how to travel using public transportation safely. Or, at least, without looking like a clueless tourist. In town, both Beau and Keyleth turned into animals, so if you see a strange dog or tiger running around, please help them out. Summer was still unable to remove the cheese panda from Turtle and Canary, and Wayne spent his shift at Syndulla Scrap feeding the bitey parts of the yard. At the Magic Box, Norman had a lot of customers looking to remove sex-related curses. Ah, somehow I don't think that will help. Zack took the relatively normal week to set puppies up outside of Furnado Animal Shelter, and Hernando stopped by to start looking for a cat. Eponine had to deal with a mailbox dispensing popsicles at the post office, and Mitsutada had to deal with the staff at Luke's being a bunch of twelve year olds when it came to the specials. Regina stopped in and Mitsutada introduced himself, and got to hear about how Regina felt about last week's horror show.

That seems to be everything the squirrels have for now. Try to enjoy the rest of your week, even if you feel something is a bit missing. We've all survived worse.

A little while after Hardison's broadcast, Zoe made her way over to the radio station and, thankfully, the squirrels were kind enough to let her right in.

"Good afternoon everyone, this is Zoe Winchester. We've gotten some more concrete information about the hurricane; I don't want to sound too alarming, but we are definitely in its path. It looks like Hurricane Finley is going to hit Fandom on Saturday, with winds of 100 miles per hour or more. I know many of you have been making preparations, but now that we know what kind of timetable we're working with, I strongly encourage you to stock up on food and supplies in case we lose power - make sure you have batteries, gas for your generators, anything you can think of that you might need if there's an emergency. Also, for any students in the dorms, Fosse will be coming around to nail plywood over as many windows as he can get to, so please help him if you can. I'm sure we'll all weather this just fine, no pun intended."

As she signed off, she had to admit, there was something a little refreshing about preparing for a normal kind of disaster.

Ever since Susan came to her office, Zoe had been looking for anything she could find on these Auditors - in between answering world-ending phone calls and drinking heavily - and had come up with nothing. The drinking heavily probably hadn't helped, but it was keeping her calm, and she hadn't stopped being a soldier long enough to know that that was important in times like these.

She'd thought about making an announcement at the school, but this wasn't just affecting the students and teachers, and the more people who were aware of what they might be up against, the better. So, Zoe headed for the radio station, giving one of the squirrels a grateful look when it turned on the equipment for her without her even having to ask.

"Good afternoon, everyone. This is Zoe Winchester," she said, keeping her tone as calm as possible. "I apologize for the interruption, but I have some information on those who might be responsible for the disappearances that have been plaguing our friends and family. I've been informed that the people responsible for the current situation, if they can be referred to as people at all, are called Auditors. Unfortunately, that's all I know so far. I don't know why they've targeted Fandom's loved ones, or how they're doing what they're doing, and I'm hoping that's where all the smart folks here can come in."

Zoe sighed, getting quiet for a moment to maintain her composure. "If you've lost people, or your home, or entire worlds, then know that I am truly sorry. But I'd also like you to remember that trouble likes to find us, and we always send it back to where it came from in the end. Do not think of this as permanent, or there's no point in hoping at all. Gather what information you can, and as always, please stay safe. Thank you."

[NFI, reaction comments welcome!]

Good evening, everyone. I apologize for not being here last week but, well, I'm sure you're all aware of what things were like in town. As for today, I'm not sure how I feel about the random gift of a blanket that I found this morning, but I'm willing to admit that it's keeping me warm right now. I don't know why it has sleeves though. People aren't really stupid enough to not know how to wear a blanket, are they?

( Read more... )

Good evening, everyone. I hope your weekends have started well, and that you're all feeling better than last week. Or, at least, different than last week. It's much better this week, trust me.

( Insert something witty here. )

Good evening, Fandom. This is Principal Winchester, sadly coming to you alone this week. I suppose I could have the squirrels kidnap a partner for me again, but I don't think that will be necessary. This time around, at least.

( This is where the cut goes! )

Good evening, everyone. I hope you've all had a good week recovering from the presence of your friends and family. Now, let's see how our break week is starting off, shall we?.

( News is under here! )

Good evening, everyone, this is Principal Winchester. I want to thank Dan and Wallace for being here when I should have been on Friday - I had a situation with a vomiting toddler that I can guarantee not even her own father wants to hear about, so let's spare the details and just get on with the notes, shall we?

( Without onions tonight, thankfully. )

Good evening, everyone. For those of you whom I haven't yet had the pleasure to meet, I'm Principal Winchester, and I'll be bringing you the news this evening. Don't worry, no one will get detention from what I end up reading. Probably.

( Principal radiooooo! )

Good evening, Fandom. Do any of you get nervous when I help with the radio? I certainly hope not, but I suppose I should get started and get this over with in case some of you do.

( The news is under here! )

Thanks to last night's radio broadcast, Zoe knew that something buggy had been going on yesterday. However, after the last weekend, she was pretty burned out on insanity, so when the issue didn't sound mortal, she felt perfectly content to ignore it and hope it all went away after a day as so many things in Fandom often did.

It wasn't until she got to her office and found the entire main office staff waiting for her that Zoe realized she wasn't going to be able to just ignore this problem. She still didn't know why singing bugs were such an issue, until someone played her a recording of what they were singing.

Well, Zoe was a woman of many faults, but letting people be tortured in their own homes was not one of them.

After offering to let the staff stay at the Arms on the school's dime and being informed that the hotel wasn't a safe option either, Zoe came up with the only other idea she could think of early in the morning with no coffee in her and her ears still ringing from terrible, evil singing. When the office staff seemed all right with the plan, Zoe headed out to the radio station, figuring that some folks in town might like the offer too. Surely a little downgrade in comfort would be better than listening to these bugs?

"Good morning," she said. "This is Principal Winchester. It's come to my attention that some residences in town are having a little bug problem. Since the dorms appear to be unaffected, I feel comfortable offering the school's cabins to anyone who would like a quiet place to stay until the bugs go away. Anyone who is interested can meet me at the cabins today, and I'll handwavily get you settled." She thought about adding that she was sure the bugs would go away soon, but that seemed a bit like jinxing things. Maybe she really had learned a thing or two being here for so long.

[The cabins are now officially open for the adults! You can mod that when you got to the cabins, Zoe took down your name and picked your cabin for you. Have fun! :D]

Zoe: Good evening, Fandom. There'd better be some of you still out there listening to this, or I am not going to be pleased. If you're outside right now, you'd better get the hell inside, because things are getting worse out there.

Grace: Mommy! Bad word!

Zoe: Someday, I'm going to have the time to teach you all about situational swearing, I promise.

( The news is under here! )

It looks like that's almost everything except...all right, why do I have a note about people going down below the island? If any of you went on this little trip, come and find me tomorrow, because you'd better not have done something that stupid without a good reason. As for the rest of you, have a good night, and for the love of whatever higher power you believe in, stay safe.

Good evening, everyone. I hope you've all had a good Friday - or, at least, an interesting one with all the new...people in town. Judging from the size of the stack of notes in front of me, I'm going to assume I don't have to hope very hard.

( It's news time with the principal! )

Zoe: Good evening, Fandom. And good evening to you too, Andy. I hope I didn't keep you waiting long.

Andy: No ma'am. Sam's not under the weather or anything is he?

Zoe: Oh no, he's just...very well occupied at the moment.

Andy: Oh?

Zoe: He's with his boyfriend. I could suggest a few things they might be doing right now, but I don't want him to make that face of his at me when I get home.

Andy: Oh! Um, good for him?

Zoe: Very good for him. And good for me, because now I can get a good look at what you all were up to today.

Andy: That seems almost like a government controlled media somehow...

Zoe: Maybe, but only for tonight. I won't be giving out any detentions for what's here. At least, I think I won't.

Andy: You wouldn't want Sam to feel guilty, y'know.

Zoe: Exactly. That's it completely, of course.

( News cut! )

Andy: What do you mean Sam's not here?

*squirrel chittering*

Andy: Where is he then?

*more chittering*

Andy: What do you mean you're too scared to tell me?

Zoe: Am I late? I must be, it looks like you're already getting started. Sorry, you must be Andy.

Andy: That's me... I'm sorry ma'am, I was expecting Sam Winchester...?

Zoe: Sam's...not feeling well today, so I told him I'd come and help you out in his place. I hope that's all right?

Andy: Of course! Just... Sam's going to be okay?

Zoe: Oh, yes, he'll be fine. Did I miss anything before I got here?

Andy: Just me trying to get the squirrels to tell me where Sam is.

Zoe: And the squirrels were uncooperative? How shocking, really. Why don't I go ahead and get us started?

( This is why we don't let the principal on the radio except for emergencies. )

As soon as she'd finished reading the letters she'd received, Zoe headed straight for the radio station, ignoring the squeaking and chittering of the squirrels as she sat down and turned everything on.

"Good afternoon, this is Principal Washburn. Don't change the station - I need everyone to listen to this. As some of you have noticed, there's been an unexplainable increase in missing persons over the last few days. I want you all to know that a little while ago, I received some letters - from cities all across the globe, dated throughout the early 1900's.

"Something on the island is sending people into the past. From these letters, I don't know what it is, and I don't know how it's working. But the one thing all the letters have in common is that they mention angel statues. They all say that the statues were there when they were taken.

"I want to encourage everyone to exercise caution when going through town. If you spot any of the statues, please stay away from them." Zoe knew full well that request wouldn't work on everyone, but it was worth the shot anyway. "Once we've figured out more about what's going on, I'll let everyone know. But for now, please stay calm and stay safe. Know that those who are missing are all right, and we will figure out a way to get them back. Thank you."

[Aaaand it's now common knowledge that the angels are involved. Go forth and do what Fandom residents do best! One of these days, by god, people will listen to Zoe.]

It took Zoe a few minutes and some pleasantly helpful squirrels to get the radio equipment going, but she didn't sound at all pleased when the broadcast started.

"Good evening, everyone," she said. "This is Principal Washburn. I have an announcement to make, and I know I usually limit myself to the school for this sort of thing, but this is something everyone needs to hear. Earlier today, one of our students, Bart Allen, passed away in the town hall clinic. Bart was a strong young man, and I have no doubt that the doctors and healers at the clinic did everything in their power to try to help him.

"In case it wasn't glaringly obvious by now, this sickness is not the average flu. I've already said this once to the students, and now I'm telling everyone - if you're sick, go to the town hall. Do not stay in your rooms, or your houses, and think that everything will be all right. The only way we can be sure that no one else will die is if we all help each other stay as well as possible.

"I've seen this town band together under the strangest circumstances, and just because we're not up against something we can shoot at, it doesn't mean we can't still be there for each other. I'll be keeping Bart and his friends in my thoughts, and I hope that all of you will do the same."