WTFH

Good evening fine folks of Fandom and welcome to Saturday's edition of Fandom Radio. I'm John Crichton, coming at you live from the Crow's Nest II. My partner in crime, Lee Adama, seems to have mysteriously vanished. I've tried leaving out pieces of toast, I've tried dumping his hair care products down the drain but have gotten no response. If you're out there Lee, I hope you're okay. We can work it out, buddy!

Also, what's with the hair all over the instruments? Professor Skeeter did the broadcast last night, right? Dude, she's shedding gray hair all over the place! The last time she saw thirty six was 1836!

Classes on Saturday? Surely, You Jest!

And no, you can't call me Shirley.

Professor Tick receives a package. New spandex? Possibly a different color? Professor, I think you'd look great in red or purple. Maybe a nice polka dotted number? What about pin striped? Are stripes the one that makes you look thin or fat? Not that you're fat, Professor, I'm just wondering.

The Gun Club meets. Sam, Aeryn, Parkie, Marty, Pippi, Cam all attend. Weapons on Saturdays. It's frightening how many women handle heavy weaponry at this school. I can only imagine what would happen if they had a weapon in their hands when it's that time of...*shuffling papers* Let's move on, shall we?

Detention was held today. Professor Dream led detention and it was attended by Nadia, Hamlet, Janet and myself. There was the creation of art projects and an essay on a creature of our choosing. If anyone wants to know, I chose a meerkat because I wanted to know what the heck I actually was last class. And stop giving Professor Mrs. My Hair is a Wig ideas about animals!

Dorm Room with a View

Xander sends drunken email. Also, next time you see Xander? Ask about his sordid custard secrets. Just do it. Tell him John sent you and knows he stole the Twinkies. Faithful stops by to see Angel. Veronica reflects in the shower. Personally, I prefer singing. Aretha Franklin or Diana Ross or something loud and proud. And no, that does not make me gay. Just means I have style!

Belthazor's made a list and he's checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice. Belthazor Claus is coming to town! Ahem. What, just because the holiday's over doesn't mean the spirit has to end! Angela made drunken phone calls. I checked my voicemail this morning and there was no ferret sex message. Thank goodness.

Alphonse gets a puppy. Cute! Puppies make everything better. Xander is so very hungover. Poor guy. Blend some Twinkies, put them in a glass and let Xander drink. He'll be allll better after that. Jaye, Peter and Rory sends emails. And none of them were to me! My inbox is empty save for some Viagra spam thing and someone wanting my bank account numbers! By the way, I don't need Viagra thank you very much! Cam's dad calls him and Jaye waits for Archie. Hey Jaye? Get the glitter outta your hair yet? Meerkat this!

Pip writes letters home. Cam invents bowling and makes a racket. Krycek and Callisto join in the bowling game. Aeryn, at first, wants use Cam as the pins but joins in eventually. Aeryn bowled? Did anyone get a picture? C'mon, my girlfriend bowled and I missed it! Anders and Cam scramble to come up with ideas for Cally's birthday. Again, happy birthday Cally! You rock! Callisto confesses to girlkissing. Okay, see, that's so much hotter than boykissing because girls have the lips and the hair and the...yeah, girlkssing.

Walter runs laps in the gym and plays with his dog. And if one single person takes that as dirty? You deserve a kick in the pants because dogs are not dirty, they are cute! Blair puts up posters advertising for tutoring.

Tonight was Game Night! Before Game Night officially started, Isabel and Aeryn talk about Darla. Cam wants to play full contact Monopoly. What? Did someone drug Cam again? Was he wearing spandex over leather pants like he promised he would? Aeryn also told me about Darla. I was the regular, understanding, sexy, lovable, adorable, dorky, cuddly boyfriend I always am when this stuff happens.

The first Monopoly game features Peter, Molly, Mac, Cam, Sam, and my illustrious boss here at the station, Barbossa. Go boss go! The second Monopoly game features Pip, Nadia, Blair, Pippi, Jack, Parker, and Janet.

Rory throws a birthday party for Cally. But it's not in her room and I'm sure everyone is sad about that. By the end of this year, everyone will have been in Rory's room but not in an orgy type of way Professor Mrs. I'm Compensating for Something By Using My Wand! Anakin helps decorate. There are no turnips. Woe. Parker, excuse me, Parkie, helps decorate. And tomorrow, she'll plant some flowers and bake cookies. Cam brings the drinks and the chips and tells Rory he's cooler than me. I disagree. I'm also gonna beat Cam up for that, the one armed dork!! Anders brings the birthday girl in! Yay Anders and Cally and Cally and Anders! Bridge wonders why he didn't know about this. Speaking of Bridge, did he get kissed last night? There's nothing here about someone kissing Bridge? Has no one kissed Bridge and, if not, why not?

Gilmore's! Where Everyone Knows Your Name...and Your Lips!

Dude, 213 was the place to be this weekend. And it wasn't an orgy, Professor Mrs. Gray Hair Shedding All Over The Radio Equipment!

The Spin The Bottle group wakes up. Alas, there is no more kissing. Yet. Rory and Peter talk about mocking people. Jaye and Archie make out. In Rory's room. Disinfectant works wonders, Rory! Honestly!

Randomly, Jaye and Rory believe elves have kidnapped Xander and they want a boy kissing room. As a member of the male species, I say NO NO NO NO NO. Men? We are not a petting zoo! They'd set a room up with glass windows and an a descriptive sign. Boykissimus Sexiness - A rare sight in the wild, these two young men have been brought into our exhibit for research and observational purpose. Please do not feed the boykissers. Veto, veto I say!

Angela's in a weird mood, Angela and Rory talk about Marty and Angela admits to missing him. I miss him too, Angela but not in that way. He's just fun to be around and cool and funny and he really knows his music! Macbeth learns about California and coffee, Anders gets Rory to help out with Cally's birthday celebration. Hey, happy birthday Cally! If I knew how, I'd totally play a special song for you. Since I don't, I'll just end the broadcast with a song!

Anakin is hungover. And didn't get kissed last night. This morning he totally spins the bottle and kisses Rory. *pause* Oh, the game. Right. Hey, good spinning, Anakin! Isabel goes looking for Xander. Isabel, he's probably off cuddling a hat...or something else. Most likely a hat. He really likes hats and Twinkies and Jeremiah. But not Jeremiah in a hat eating Twinkies because that would just be weird. Xander, please tell me you haven't done that.

Alanna is sad to have missed the boykissing. Geez, girls, just go rent one of those movies that are in the special sections of the movie stores! Plenty of boykissing! Peter and Angela also talk about how Marty's weird. Peter's a good sounding board. Listened to me vent a few times. Gave some good advice. Thanks, Pete! Cordy gets all nostalgic about the boykisses that just happened last night. Geez, with the way Cordy's remembering this, you'd think she'd been living in a hut surrounded by lobsters for the last ten years. But, she wouldn't sunburn a nice lobster red because Rory burns unders halogen lights and could give her SPF 87 ! Angela teaches Macbeth about light switches. Aww, Angela's so nice.

Takin' You Downtown!

Orlin, Camulus, and Phoebe wake up together. Dang, that must've been one big bed. Or one small bed, depending on your view. I thought Phoebe was back together with Belthazor? Did I miss something while I was in detention?

Dr. Troy visits Cafe Fina. Wait, who? Sorry buddy, haven't met you yet. Walter also stops by Cafe Fina to pick up some dough and that's not bread, folks. Though, picking up bread would be good too because then there would be toast! Angel, Callisto, Logan, and Veronica go on a double date!. Aww, how sweet. And just think, a few days ago, Callisto was covered in soda and laughing at me for reasons that will not be explained. Callisto's romantic! Who'd have guessed that one? Is she sprinkling rose petals in the bathtub for Angel yet?

Caritas is open!

Apparently, Tex and her Troopers were throwing a party at the station today. Belthazor heads in as does Angel. Dudes, I wasn't invited? C'mon, I bet Mayor Tex is fun to party with once you get past that full metal body armor, raging attitude, access to heavy weaponry, potty mouth, and apparent disdain for everyone and you have a real party animal right there!

The Baron's being lazy and Angela's getting advice from Professor Chaucer at the Perk. Mac stops at Empire Records and Bidet to get some music recommendations from Lucas. Mac? Starland Vocal Band. That's all I'm saying. CJ's hanging at out Mauvaise Chance apartments and meets Orlin.

At All and Sundries, Orlin needs hangover relief, Giles finds British candy and Anakin buys a turnip bouquet. Is that right? Turnips? Can we get a check to make sure Anakin is still Anakin and not Annie? Because, turnips? Unless you're taking up gardening then...you go with your turnip self!

( Birthday Song! )

Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week. And that's all we have from the friendly confines of the Crow's Nest II. I'm John Crichton and I leave you with two things. One, if you need some cheering up? Rory's room. Something's always happening in there. And two? Who else thinks Professor Mrs. Skeeter should just choose one title? Professor Mrs. Rita Skeeter? C'mon, too long! Pick one and reconcile with your husband! Adios everyone!