WTFH

Hey, Fandom! I hope you're resting up, you all deserve it. Yes. All of you. This is Kanan Jarrus, and I've got notes from my favorite radio day of the year; the one where I feel like I'm intruding on something personal whenever I read about people's coping methods.

So, let's get this over with. There was nothing in the school yesterday, but in the dorms, Nina was huddled up in bed when Vette got home and offered her some comfort. Prompto swung by too, but Vette intercepted him at the door. Sabine was doing some angry drawing in her room when Astrid called to touch base about the week.

In town, Tony was taking it easy at home when Steve came back from a run and there was coffee. Skywalker did some texting from the clinic, which you all know since I'm pretty sure everybody got those texts, and he got a call from Aeryn and a visit from me to make sure he was alive and as well as can be expected when you're used as a human kriffing battery.

Owen woke up a little dis-shelved -- is that the word you meant to use?

*chittering*

Alright then. Owen woke up both dis-shelved and dishevelled at the Bookbelt. Sparkle was chain smoking at Demon Marcus after reading yesterday's broadcast, which explains why he's not in here today, I suppose. I had pancake specials for the traumatized at Luke's yesterday, which both Rey and Summer took me up on. Rey was patching up some toys for donation over at Stark's when Steve stopped by to check up on her and talk a little about their trip to the underground. And, last but not least, Atton caught up on the week's events via podcast over at Caritas, and is reasonably certain that the island is on drugs.

There's probably a club for that.

And that's all the notes, so I'm out of here. Until next time, Fandom.

Kanan: This... this is a weird one today, folks. I can tell you that one right now.

Sparkle: I'd ask how you could tell, but I fell into a pocket dimension or something on my way here and wound up having tea with a friendly giant. And this isn't even the first time that's happened. I swear if at any point I wake up naked on an alien spaceship, though...

Kanan: Wait, what?

Sparkle: Missed that one, huh?

Kanan: ... Apparently. Anyway, the squirrels gave us notes. Let's see what people were up to yesterday, and then we can get back to our tea parties or whatever.

Sparkle: Sure. So, in the dorms, Prompto was getting over some kind of gunk in one of the common rooms, watching old western films. Sure, those are fine.

Kanan: Westerns?

Sparkle: You know, like... nerf herders and gunslingers. You'd like them.

Kanan: ... I probably would, actually. Yeah. In town, we had Owen humming and making busy work at the Bookbelt, Sparkle here dying of heat exhaustion at Demon Marcus--

Sparkle: It was so gross.

Kanan: Well, maybe the next rift you trip into will have air conditioning.

Sparkle: ... You know I'm gonna go looking for one like that, now. At Lukes, the staff were hiding in the freezer for Kanan's shift, at least until Summer stopped by and put them to work with a pancake milkshake while she talked to Kanan about students turning into animals, and... baked bananas and ham with hollandai-- oh god that's nasty what.

Kanan: She says when she makes it for me, she'll make it using both homemade sauce and sauce from a packet.

Sparkle: WHY. I'll eat anything but sometimes you have to not put hollandaise sauce on the banana.

Kanan: Well, I guess I'm going to find that out. Looks like Atton had his job all figured out yesterday at Caritas when he made do-it-yourself cocktails the special of the night. Which probably freed up his time to text Sia about people's frustrations.

Sparkle: Hahahaa, tell me about it. I'll take the rifts and the dubious uncertainty that I might've been kidnapped by aliens again, god. Anyway, that's the notes!

Kanan: And that's all for us this week, Fandom. Until next time... enjoy your random tea parties with giants, I guess?

Kanan: Hey, look, I actually set out to go somewhere and got there, today.

Sparkle: Me too!

Kanan: ... You're really committed to this, aren't you?

Sparkle: At least until I freak the hell out and flee to Baltimore until the island stops being homicidal, sure.

Kanan: Well, that shouldn't take long.

Sparkle: What, the island not being homicidal?

Kanan: No, the other one. I have--

Sparkle: A bad fee--

Kanan: Don't even.

Sparkle: Heee.

Kanan: Anyway, there aren't many notes today, so let's make this quick. I'm pretty sure this week I'm going to have to teach my students how to arm up.

Sparkle: That bad, huh?

Kanan: Undoubtedly so.

Sparkle: Crap. Okay. Uh. I was at the apartment because there's no way I was going to get myself lost on the island in that maze and I was singing Baby Shark doo doo doo--

Kanan: Very nice. Looks like you did some texting with Hernando about mazes and knives and escape plans, and I'm seriously starting to wonder about the squirrels' ability to get in and read that much.

Sparkle: I'm seriously picturing one suspended from the ceiling by a rope or something. Maybe wearing night vision goggles.

Kanan: To read a text?

Sparkle: Well, it'd look cool. Anyway, Atton found his way home with Mooby's and I totally schooled him about Vaudeville and Heavy Metal.

Kanan: I don't know what either of those things are. Anyway, it looks like someone did find their way in to work, so props to you, Owen, you managed to accomplish what basically nobody else did this weekend. And that's all the notes, so...

Sparkle: Stay safe?

Kanan: I'm not sure if people can.

Sparkle: ... Well, that's not ominous.

Kanan: Arm up or find somewhere to hole up. Don't go out alone. And, yeah, stay safe, Fandom.

Good morning, Fandom. If you're not quite awake yet, this is Kanan Jarrus here to make an early morning suggestion that you take a moment to look around wherever you're waking up, to really process the state of literally everything here. Okay, now look at your hands. Yes, they're gray. But since I didn't wake up with bad feelings so strong I wanted to crawl into my own skull and die there, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they're gray because everything is, and not because you're sick.

There you go, now I do public service announcements for free. Get yourself some coffee or whatever. This seems like it's going to be our off week.

Anyway, the squirrels gave me... two notes. Presumably because half of them were creepy human-faced monsters - Leroy looks entirely too proud of himself for that - and the other half didn't want to get eaten by creepy human-faced monsters. It's all in town yesterday, where Sparkle was crazy enough to go to Demon Marcus in order to unload a new shipment of rainbow stock. Have fun with that this week, I guess? And he had time in there to ask Dr. Lecter to kick his husband in the shin over the phone. And then Atton was at Caritas, with free drinks for anyone who wasn't a monster.

No takers.

Yeah, the island really was that bad last week. If you're one of the people who was infected... take some you-time to recover. Order Chinese delivery and watch cartoons. It's a week off, spend it taking it easy. You deserve it. And now I'm going to go walk my dog, who looks extra weird covered in black spots. Summer, if you're listening, your cat is fine. Kanan, out.

Fandom. Before I even start my broadcast today, I'm going to preface it with: Be careful. If you're not a fighter, don't go outside if you can help it. Keep your doors locked. If you are a fighter, watch your back. I'm re-adjusting my definition of 'hell' to 'wherever it is we are right now' after just my walk to the station.

This is not going to be a fun time for a lot of you.

So. Now, the news, which I'm not so sure is going to seem nearly as important as avoiding being ripped open by mutated murder junkies, but Monday's Monday, I guess. I'll keep it short. Lana had a quiet day in the library yesterday.

Over in the MCA, Bucky was back in his apartment after some time away. You picked maybe not a great time for that, sorry about the everything out there. There was no nerf left at Luke's yesterday, but Summer did stop by to visit Stance and to talk to me about her upcoming birthday. Jonothon had a singalong time with his cat for a while before just... kind of zoning out? The note says it was very intent zoning out, so he was probably talking to somebody somewhere. Owen was in a good mood for his shift at the Bookbelt. I, uh, I hope that holds up for you, there. And Atton was doing cocktails at Caritas, which led to a chat with Octavia about what exactly makes a cocktail a cocktail.

And that's all the notes, so... I'm going to go figure out what to do about class. I miss my talking dog.

Stay careful out there, Fandom. This one comes with a lot of bad feelings. Kanan out.

So. Uh. Fandom? Hey. This is Kanan Jarrus, and you might or might not have noticed that the water's gone. So, there's the good news for you.

The bad news is that I was attacked by a seven-foot-tall scorpion while I was taking my dog for a walk, so you might want to consider traveling with a weapon. Or a small army. At least for this week. The island seems to be making this a weekly thing.

The squirrels seem to be a little skittish today - apparently a few of them almost became a tasty snack this morning - but they did bring me the notes, so I guess I'll acknowledge their bravery and read them, hm?

Over at the school - I'm afraid to see what's happened to the school, I noticed the wall there - Lana had some swimming books in the library. Which, for the record, was dry, but that didn't stop the books from trying to brush up on their backstroke on the floor, I guess.

Wayne was on the deck in the dorms, just enjoying a lazy afternoon with a coffee and a smoke. I get the feeling that this week might not be so great for that.

In town, Seivarden turned back from being a cat, and was... well, not promptly shooed out by Amaya, but it might have been strongly hinted at that her welcome had grown at least a little bit stale. Politely. Owen, meanwhile, was a little bit stymied by all the water at the Bookbelt, but fortunately Nina was there for a second week in a row to show him how to get in for his shift.

And that's all the notes the squirrels swam to write, or all the notes that survived the water damage, or maybe all the notes the squirrels weren't eaten before they could deliver, I'm not sure which, so I'm going to... just go and try to figure out where I'm holding my class today, I guess.

Wish me luck, Fandom. And remember. Weapons and the buddy system, okay?

*Barking!*

*Chittering!!!*

Stance! Stance, it's too early in the morning for-- Oh, hey, good to see you back to normal, buddy, but you need to leave the squirrels alone. What, is Seivarden not able to do the broadcast today?

*Chitter?*

What do you mean, it's Monday!?

*Chitter*

How the kriff is it Monday?

*Chitter*

( Reunion Radio )

Good morning again, Fandom. Two days in a row now, I might start to think the squirrels felt bad for replacing me with that other guy. Unless he's sick or something. In which case, I'm not sure how I feel about being the convenient second choice.

*Chittering*

Well, whatever it is, there are notes, and so I'm here to read them. Over in the library, Lana was putting out a display of books that might prove useful to newcomers to this island, world, geological era... whatever the case might be.

The dorms were quiet - I appreciate when the dorms are quiet - and so we'll move on into the gossip around town. Hera had the scrapyard open in case anybody wanted spaceship parking, and yes, that is a thing here, or a job. Also a thing here. Probably less unusual to some. Breq stopped by to ask about crashing in one of the rooms on Hera's ship, and so Hera laid down the basic ground rules - basically, don't poke the droid. There was a pancake bar yesterday during my shift at Luke's, which I'm kind of hoping they do every Sunday from now on, if only so I can pay for a plate at the start of the day and just keep sneaking berries through my shift. Summer stopped by to chat about my upcoming wedding to Cade, and no, I don't think we need anything for the kitchen. Seivarden came in for tea, pancakes, and possibly some conversation, and Jack stole my caf, thinking it was coffee.

Folks, it was not coffee.

Sparkle was trying to figure out where his order went at the Demon Marcus when Delirium stopped by looking for zombies- Sparkle gave her directions to Caritas. Nina came in looking for clothes, and she and Sparkle spent a while musing about the fundamental differences between chartreuse and puce and whether people should ever wear either of those things. At Caritas, Atton got to deal with an 'ask about our newbie deals' sign when Delirium stopped by and did just that, sort of, before wandering off to find the zombies.

And that's the news, or what passes for it around here anyway. Have a good week, Fandom. Enjoy all of the introducing yourselves you're about to be doing, students. And until next time the squirrels are desperate enough to drag me in to the station, Kanan out.

Kanan: Oh yeah, today you guys want me to read radio notes for you. What's the occasion, huh? More than you want to spring on your new Monday buddy?

*Chittering*

Kanan: ... What do you mean, father-son ti--

*Door closes*

Jacen: ... I think I was just kidnapped by rodents.

( Ah. How's your High Galactic? )

Good morning again, Fandom. Kanan here with the creepiest droid I have ever seen - it looks like a deer and it just keeps turning its head to look at me - and a small handful of notes. I'm going to pay attention to the notes, because if I don't I'll be staring at the deer.

So, we've got the school first, where Lana was sitting in the library with books in her lap when Sidon stopped in to make a return.

In the dorms, in the first cloor girls' bathroom - really, squirrels?

*Chittering*

Sometimes I just can't believe you guys. Okay, in the first floor bathroom, Sabine was giving her hair a new dye job. Which I'll admit is a less worrying note than I was afraid of. Still, let's move on to town.

In the park, Rosa was taking her dog out for a walk while the island was blissfully devoid of anything new and festive she could get into. The staff at Luke's was distracted during my shift, probably by the same thing Summer wanted a distraction from, so while she ate pancakes, I cooked up plans for a shopping trip. Bob was dealing with zooming books at the Magic Box, Sparkle had mannequins and a cuddly Hernando to talk to about their respective trips offworld over at Demon Marcus, and everything was pretty normal for Jono over at the Groovy Tunes. And finally, at Caritas, Atton couldn't get Tino to turn off the holiday movies, but he did do some texting with Sia.

Yeah, I'm starting to worry about how you guys manage to get so close to people's phones. Unless you've got tiny squirrel tactical gear stashed away somewhere. Do they make macrobinoculars in squirrel sizes?

Okay, I'm getting out of here before that deer starts doing anything more than stare. Until next time, Fandom.

Fandom, hey, it's Kanan again, here with all the news the squirrels are using to feed their drinking habit with.

I'd complain that I'm not getting paid for this, but wages here are paid in acorns and rum.

Anyway, there are notes. Over at school, Lana was learning about Earth's bloody history in the library. Yeah, their history is short, but they fit a lot in there.

In the third floor common room of the dorms, Prompto managed to somehow lose a knife after making a sandwich. Even odds a gremlin took it or it's in the couch cushions or somewhere else weird. Either way, I'd look before sitting down in that common room until it's found.

In town, there was an air of quiet thoughtfulness with Jono at the Groovy Tunes, quiet thoughtfulness and a poppy with Sparkle at Demon Marcus, just a hell of a lot of poppies with Fenris at Covent Garden, and right back to quiet with Bob at the Magic Box. Even the kitchen staff at Luke's were behaving themselves, and Summer and I talked a little bit about where our disparate body parts went on Tuesday with all of... whatever the hell that was. And, last but not least, Atton was mixing drinks over at Caritas when Kaidan showed up looking for... some kind of seasonal drink, I think. Probably not eggnog. I'm not even from this galaxy and even I know it's too kriffing early for eggnog.

And that's all the notes, so I'm out of here. I need to head home, see a guy about some bacta. Uh. Not for me. I'm fine. Anyway, Kanan out.

Fandom, hey. I'm gonna try to get this over with quick, so you can all go on your trip without too many feelings about the weekend. This is Kanan Jarrus, and here's some stuff that nominally actually counts as news, I guess.

Emotionally intrusive news.

Over at the library, Lana was meditating.

Bob was giving the crystals at the Magic Box a side-eye, and Fenris had an affectionate kittenwillow keeping him company over at Covent Garden.

And I'm pretty sure that's it for the notes that aren't about people's dearly departed guests. You can shut your radio off now if you don't want to hear the rest.

Sparkle was looking at cute animals on the internet during his Demon Marcus shift when Dante swung by and introduced him to his mom. Awn stopped in too, looking for somebody she didn't know the name of, and Sparkle talked with her for a while over tea. Looks like Awn did eventually find who she was looking for, and they wound up talking for a while on the beach. I hope that went well for them both. Up on the roof of the MCA, I did a little bit of catching up with my old friend, Stance. Yes, I did name my dog after him. Yes, it's fitting. Kathy had her sister out for ice cream at the Chilly Boulder, which meant that Sarah got to meet Ringo, Alluka, and Parker, who talked about blackmail, death, and jerks, respectively.

Caritas was open, and Atton wasn't tending the bar alone, at least for the first part of the night. And it looks like he managed to talk Meetra into not only a duet, but a solo number after that, which ended in-- Ah. I'm going to just move on to the bar notes, where Atton was serving her drinks, talking about winding down with them, that sort of thing. Ash stopped by for whiskey and to talk Fandom Island trauma with Atton, Kaidan caught up to her and she... questioned his choice in friendships, apparently. Sure thing, Ash. Kaidan and Atton talked a little bit about the whole guest thing, too. I almost regret not taking Stance out for drinks, but I'll admit I don't even know how he holds... held... his liquor.

Well, that was a fun moment, there. Let's just move right on into the sad farewells and get this over with. I'll try not to get into anything too personal here, I had my own visitor, I get it. Sia saw her father off with a hug. Angeal left alone. Atton caught up with Meetra after the bar thing. Dante saw his mother off, also with a hug. Sidon saw off Mipha and there were heartfelt words of encouragement. Kathy and Sarah exchanged sisterly words of love before Sarah left. Kaidan saw Ash off with a hug and a salute. Liam saw his mother off, and then Verity was there to offer him comfort afterwards. I, uh, finally told Stance what my dog's name is. And Summer saw her brother off with talk of his video game habit and also hugs.

Should I have hugged Stance? Great. I'm going to worry about this, now. Anyway, that's all the notes, I hope you're all hanging in there, Fandom. Enjoy the trip if you're going, and if not... enjoy life. You get one. Live it.

Until next week, Fandom.

Fandom. It is Kanan once again, here to read the news in as professional a manner as possible before caf.

*chittering*

No. Coffee isn't caf. Let me have this.

Notes?

*Chittering*

Okay, let's do this.

School? Nothing. Dorms? Nothing. Looks like our fleet of squirrels were all in town yesterday, spying on places like the Magic Box, where Bob was not. News, people. Of course, he wasn't there because he was at the Job Fair in the park, where folks mingled among the food trucks and Seivarden talked to Rosa about having louder-- I am seriously not getting paid enough to read that note on the air, guys.

*Chittering*

Yes, that's right, I don't get paid. Exactly.

Anyway, there were booths for business owners to try to entice folks to come serve as their minions or whatever. Took a look around. There was some interesting stuff going on, sure. Sparkle assisted Nina with some winter clothes woes at the Demon Marcus booth. Zack gave Prompto a Furnado job with great puppy benefits. Norman, at the Magic Box booth, talked jelly demons with Nina, Bob, and Fenris and here's where I admit I have no idea what a jelly demon is. Summer met Nina, and I just felt a chill of cold terror running down my spine. Jughead hit up Summer for a job, at least. Amaya had a booth for the forge, and I hit it up asking about getting some practice weapons made. Fjord, meanwhile, was interested in an apprenticeship there. Fenris learned a little something about picking his poisons over at Iris' booth, where Nell stopped to ask about selling teas and lotions and such. At Peter's Covent Garden booth, Fenris named the kittenwillow 'Tickles,' and there are a lot of very unexpected cute things in that sentence, right there. Nell also stopped by the booth to ask Peter for a job. At the Caritas booth, Kitty got a Fjord asking for Fridays, and at Wellspring Arms and Meditation - I'm honestly amazed I haven't stopped by there yet myself - Cable explained the 'meditation' part of 'meditation center' to Sabine, who got herself a job messing with guns.

Which is the most fitting sentence I've read today. Congrats, Sabine.

Yesterday also happened to be Iris' birthday, so Zack threw her a party over at the Groovy Tunes. Folks arrived and checked out Zack's... enthusiastic decorating job. Seivarden chatted up Amaya about all of her forge's new business, and asked if Rosa really needs more weapons. I'm fairly certain the resounding answer across most of the island is that you can never have too many, Seivarden. There was food... there was a lot of food, and somebody tell Fenris that he's welcome to just take cake when it's sitting there for the taking, okay? And then people got to chat up the birthday girl herself. Iris got speculation from Zack about seniors discounts, Kaidan regaled her on the misadventures we had in getting her birthday present, Prompto got a lesson in observation skills, Sidon offered felicitations and chat about the decorating, Summer solicited a birthday greeting for the internet, and Seivarden gave Iris a bow and her thanks for the invitation. And, of course, there were presents. Somebody make sure to keep that plant monster away from the tea set, okay?

And with that done, my final note of the night, Atton was at a loss for what to do about the... train... on the bar... at Caritas.

Fandom, why are you like this. I'm out.

Hey again, Fandom. It's Kanan Jarrus, here with an impressive stack of notes for a Monday morning. Looks like the squirrels have stopped taking weekends off.

*Chittering*

No, I'm not bringing you extra rum for doing your job well. I'd still rather be in bed, guys.

*Disappointed chittering*

That's just the way it is. And you even brought me notes from the dorms. Still kinda creepy. You can't tell me that handing me a note telling me that Prompto was doing some texting in his room isn't creepy. At least Alluka was in a common room in this 'on her laptop' note you wrote. Looks like Ringo pulled the old sneak-sneak-boo on Alluka, who demanded ice cream as recompense. I'd say that's fair. I'd also caution new folks to not try that one on strangers around here, as you might end up through a wall.

Moving on to town, Liam was in the spaceship parking lot at the junkyard, running over ship diagnostics while waiting for Kaidan and Verity for their field trip outside of Earth's atmosphere. Kaidan showed up in that fancy armor of his and chatted with Liam for a bit about why Liam decided to settle on Fandom, and Verity showed up and introductions were made, which apparently included deifying Liam. Congratulations, Liam? And then they headed into space, which the squirrels will happily follow broadcasters to on their day, but they won't make the effort to follow to take notes, so on I move to Seivarden and her cat, hanging out on the front steps of the MCA, chatting with Peter about some kind of tea drama.

The words 'tea porn' were used. I'm out.

*Chittering*

Well, then give me the next note. Thanks. New guy Fenris was sitting in a tree in the park - good way to meet people even when you're hoping it isn't - and got the predictable parade of 'hey are you new.' First in line was Zack, who was walking his dog and eventually asked him for a swordfight. See? I'm not the only one around here who uses a karking sword. Magnus gave him a hail and well met, and then educated him about GP and Starbucks. I only nominally know what one of those two things are, myself. Looks like Peter was the one who took it upon himself to give Fenris a bit of a primer on where to find things like clothes on the island. Amaya talked about a bit of the weirdness instead, and, of course, about her forge. She does fantastic bladework, folks. Definitely swing by if you're in the market.

At the Magic Box, Bob was watching the books perform some sort of garbage ritual. I don't know if that's a ritual involving garbage, or if the whole setup is actually poodoo. Carter was at the church, cleaning up the graveyard, when Norman stopped by to pay his respects and do some repairs to an old headstone. At Luke's, the pancakes almost all seemed to have alcohol in them, sigh, and Summer made certain that the Kitty doesn't involve real cats. It doesn't. It's peanut butter. Kaidan wanted coffee and let me know he was going on a field trip or two, and Iris stopped by to order pancakes and ask me about what has been framed as 'childish drama.' So, that's a thing.

Jono was having troubles with Fruit Salad at Groovy Tunes, but was distracted from all that when Alluka showed up for her violin lesson. Summer was looking over a list at Turtle & Canary, but was distracted from it both by Pastor Carter showing up with apology cookies and Iris showed up looking for something to hang a sign for Sparkle with. Over at Demon Marcus, the aforementioned Sparkle was painting his nails. A lot, apparently. I have no idea what that means. Kaidan stopped by to show off his fancypants armor and invite Sparkle out for drinks, Karina stopped by needing what the squirrels inform me are 'all the emergency dresses,' and Iris made a sign delivery. Which, the squirrels say, was fitting and well-recieved. Well, good.

Finally, at Caritas, Atton was tired, but still had to deal with all of us idiots. I came in and ordered an orange juice, which is absolutely usual bar fare, you shut up. Kaidan brought Sparkle in, as he'd promised, and they chatted a bit about getting Sparkle onto the stage before the conversation shifted to Hernando. Kaidan got a beer nut thrown at him, probably one of the ones that Sparkle had been throwing at Atton before he was distracted by Karina complimenting his aim. Atton threatened to make Sparkle's drinks stronger - I don't think he minded - and Karina informed Atton that he looked like garbage.

*Chittering*

Did he? Nah, I'm staying out of that one, guys.

Anyway, that's all the notes, so I'm out of here, catch you all next week.

Fandom, hey, this is Kanan Jarrus, and the squirrels have actually handed me more than three notes today. I can only assume this means the new kids are raising hell already. Good on you, new kids. But if any of you touches my ship I'll break your knuckles.

*Chittering*

Yes I will.

*Chittering*

Yes. I will.

*Chittering*

( You know what, just give me the notes. )

So, uh, that was definitely a weekend, huh? I'm not even going to do some kind of crazy preamble today, Fandom. I'm Kanan Jarrus, I'm probably not even half as exhausted as some of you are, and here's what we survived yesterday.

( Finale News! )

Hey, Fandom! Looks like another slow week for the radio this Monday, probably because roughly a third of the island's residents are animals right now, so let's just leap into this.

All the activity was in town, as usual, with Sparkle doing his nails and in A Mood at Demon Marcus. Jono was texting over at Groovy Tunes, at least until Dr. Lecter stopped by with a birthday present for him. Apparently Jono forgot, so if you didn't get him anything this year, at least you're in good company. And at Luke's, I was so absorbed in tinkering with a remote that I didn't notice the cook put up a tea-themed specials board. Summer did her usual 'why is it still the summer' texting at me to make up for her not being here, and Seivarden was feeling under the weather, so she stopped by for some tea and a single pancake.

And that's all the squirrels caught you guys doing. Honestly, what is it about this time of year that makes for such an animal transformation epidemic, anyway?

Good morning again, Fandom. It's Kanan, here with the notes, ready to share what people were up to yesterday so you can... I don't know... take that knowledge and use it for evil, probably. I've met some of you.

As always, the school was empty on a Sunday and the squirrels were too lazy to bother with covering what went on in the dorms - which I appreciate - so we'll get right into what happened in town.

Town, where Amaya sent Apu out on an emergency tea run for Seivarden at the Turtle & Canary - good thinking, if you stock her up she's probably less likely to bite the faces off the Perk staff - and also took a crack at fixing the squishy machine. Still red. Now also glittery. Kaidan swung by to get shiny edible things for the raven, and noticed that the flavors in the squishy machine were basically glittery tea, so he made a point to text Sparkle to let him know.

Apparently the verdict was 'oh my god I want that,' or something of that nature, because some time after Sparkle was done making an open sign for Demon Marcus using tea, and some time after Dr. Lecter showed up with food and to discuss... whatever all of this is... Kaidan made his grand appearance with a pair of tea-flavored glittery squishies, to Sparkle's delight.

I'm sensing a theme here.

Jono's time at Groovy Tunes was less about tea and more about brooding. At Luke's, everything was feta. Everything. I can never drink another milkshake. Or load a photo on my phone from Summer without first bracing myself, because I will never unsee that hamster. Kitty was my little window of sanity in an otherwise feta-and-hamster tarnished world, even if she did like the inexplicable feta water. Rey, wisely avoiding all things tea and feta related at Stark Industries, spent her day making plans for her return to Jakku.

And that's all the notes, so I'm going to go, walk the dog, and try to get the horrible sudden image of 'feta tea' out of my head now, thanks. Until next week, Fandom.

Oof, hey. Take it easy there, guys. I'm coming, I haven't had my caf yet today.

*Chittering*

... You made me caf?

*Chittering*

See, I knew I liked you. Give me those notes, I think my brain is starting up again just smelling it.

As most of you know, yesterday was Pride Picnic day in the park. There was the requisite picnic mingling, where Breq and Sparkle talked about everything from human nature to the meaning of home. Seivarden told Rosa that Issa was home safe and sound, and then they talked about the uselessness of the island's troopers. Not gonna argue that one, no. And Anders was playing in the glitter, where he met up with both Dante and Kathy.

There was food, including whatever Dr. Lecter cooked up. Eliot got on his case about potatoes and Amaya was just happy about grilled meat.

Off to one side of the park, there was a setup for Games, including a ball pit, where Eliot congratulated Jonothon on a Pride event well planned. Kathy went up against her old nemesis, the kraken slide. And Hardison constructed a validity blanket fort, which apparently put Eliot in the mood for camping. From time to time, Kathy was sitting in the grass playing her guitar, too.

To the other side of the park, booths, promoting healthy living and collecting money for charities. Covent Garden had a booth manned by Peter, where Norman found a flower that he was especially interested in. Dites and the Clinic had a booth set up as well. Kathy and Cristina were both there to run it, and made proper introductions that didn't involve a side dose of Fandom weirdness, for once. Seivarden was there to look things over, and wound up... having a conversation... with Cristina about her job on the island and the importance of sunscreen. I'm sure it went well. Ah. Seivarden also had a talk with Kathy about safe sex and how to avoid STDs.

And the whole thing wrapped up with a rainbow fireworks show courtesy of Sabine. If ever you want somebody to blow something up for you in style, find her, definitely.

Elsewhere yesterday, it was Liam's birthday, so Verity arranged for a birthday event at Il Pollo for him. Apparently a large part of that event involved her teasing him about his age and something about a cake. Miguel showed up, armed with an Ikea gift card, which surprised Liam. Verity explained the cake away to Miguel by saying Liam had lost a bet, and then they started talking about cosplay.

I have no idea what that is, but that's the last of my notes, so I don't actually care enough to go looking. It's break week, I'm going to gear up to go stir up trouble back home for a few days or something. Enjoy your time off, Fandom. Until next week.

Fandom. Hey. Kanan Jarrus here, with notes, from town, where half the adult population of the island is probably still getting their bearings, myself included. I'll try to keep this one succinct and relatively coherent today, and then I'll be out of your hair.

*Chittering*

Yes, that is blue.

*Chittering*

Yes, that is pink. It's fine. Give me the notes or I'll leave you to read them yourselves.

*Rustling*

Thanks. So, we'll start with Turtle & Canary, where Amaya has an overabundance of Mountain Dew squishies and Doritos to try to sell off, courtesy of a younger Apu. Heads up to the actual teens of the island- it's a buy one, get five deal on Doritos. You know those common rooms need to be stocked up. Jono was at the Groovy Tunes, seeming relatively unscathed by the whole ordeal, though Dr. Lecter did stop by to ask if he was going to start sleeping at home again now that they remembered one another. Sparkle didn't change this week but he did have to answer for glitter and flirting related crimes with Seivarden and Dr. Lecter respectively, and suddenly I feel like I've gotten off lightly with some streaks in my hair. At least there wasn't a hell of a lot of glitter or flirting on my end.

I think.

The staff at Luke's was more obnoxious than I remember them, though that might just have been my mood yesterday. Still, I got a call and some life advice from Summer, a visit from Kitty, who gives good hugs, if you're wondering. Kaidan stopped by for carbs and we both agreed none of that happened before talking about it all anyway. It made sense to us at the time. Hera was there definitely for the pancakes, but also maybe to see how I was holding up, and I appreciate that. And it looked like Parker had some of her own stuff to sort out, but on the plus side, all the little creamer cups are as fresh as they'll ever be, now.

Seems like 'rocks on the beach' was a running theme for the week, since Liam was out there in the morning, sitting on one rock and contemplating another. Reno checked in, mostly just to observe that things were back to normal, and Verity helped Liam sort out a few feelings on the matter. And Jaina was at the Perk, looking over a data pad and catching up on some stuff she'd missed as a teen, and she and Peter ended up exchanging notes on their comparatively non-traumatic stints as teens.

I have heard this word a lot over the last several days, so I can feel fairly confident when I use it now to say that I'm pretty sure, for most of us, it sucked.

I'm glad to be back to normal. I hope the rest of you are, too. Take it easy this week, Fandom. Hopefully you didn't do anything the students will mock you too much for later.

Ugh, Cal--

Fandom, hey, it's another morning with Kanan Jarrus here on WTFH Radio, and I've got a small handful of notes in my hand, courtesy of your favorite voyeuristic squirrels. Whether any of the notes have anything actually newsworthy in them remains to be seen, but we'll give this our best shot anyway.

The school was quiet as always, because nobody in their right mind wants to be there on a Sunday at the start of the summer. But in the dorms, Breq was doing her morning prayers and listening to music. See, this is both not news and it might even be a little invasive, guys. But points for trying, I guess.

*Chittering*

You're right, you absolutely deserve another drink for that. Go hard, guys. I'll be here trying to read your writing. We're moving on to town now, where Vanessa and Wade discovered an entire room in their apartment that they didn't realize was there before, which led to talk about future plans, maybe starting a family, and I feel as though the squirrels really don't know a personal conversation when they see one.

Seivarden spent some of her afternoon at the gun range at Atlas - I really need to start spending some time there. Hopefully when it's not, ah, busy. I'll probably spend more time focusing on my blaster than on tea, though. Because gun safety is actually a thing they try to enforce there. Sabine was drawing in her sketchbook at the Perk - you know, the place where tea drinking is actually encouraged - when Seivarden came in, put in her unnecessarily finicky order for what is literally just leaves in hot water, and then was weird at Sabine about her art.

... Okay, look, Seivarden. Whatever problem you have with me, you're welcome to it, but you really have to grow the hell up and stop mocking kids about their hobbies. I want to think you're better than that.

Moving on. Sparkle was late for his shift at Demon Marcus, but at least he was there. The staff at Luke's was behaving themselves, which I don't trust, but at least it meant instead of babysitting them, I could take a video call from Summer and the adorable kid she was looking after yesterday. And, at Stark Industries, Rey finally had a breakthrough with Portalocity. Huh. Glad to see they got their business in order, Rey. I'll miss our sparring sessions once you go, though.

And that's all the notes there are, I believe, so I'm going to head to the Perk. Maybe order some leaves in hot water for myself. Have a good week, Fandom. Catch you next Monday.

Hey again, Fandom. Kanan here with a few tiny pieces of paper with barely legible writing, so I suppose that means it's time to read the notes. Which, to my eternal relief all seem to be from town.

... Mostly seem to be from town. Does what happens on the Isle of Ikea even count as Fandom news? Ah well, we'll sort that out when we get there.

We'll start today at Turtle & Canary, where Amaya walked in to discover Apu's new macramé habit. Sabine stopped in too, asking where she could get some rum for squirrel bribing and getting tips from Amaya for getting out of having too much about oneself read on radio.

*Chittering!*

Yeah, I see she didn't have rum not to bribe you over that note yet.

*Pointed chittering*

... I have nothing to bribe you over. Stop looking at me like that.

Anyway, elsewhere we had Sparkle having a smoke outside of Demon Marcus, and Jono trying something called an Otamatone at Groovy Tunes. At Luke's, the staff was throwing pancakes around, which I put a stop to before I did my weekly catch-up with Summer about the Wednesday activities and a show she wants to see that you should never Google the name of. Kitty stopped by and immediately knew that there had been pancakes everywhere, and we talked a little bit about the care and raising of small children and how much fire is an acceptable amount of fire around them.

At the docks, Captain Kenway was having a chat with his crew about their constant vigilance after the, ah, unique weather last Wednesday. Apparently there had been an incident that I intend to laugh about while reading the notes, but have no intention of reading on the air. You're welcome, Grim. Octavia couldn't help but make her way over to investigate the ship, and she and Edward introduced themselves.

In an abandoned warehouse somewhere, Dante set up a shooting range for Kathy, including extra sheets of steel to make sure nobody outside accidentally wound up getting shot. Everyone on the island who might need to walk through the warehouse district appreciates that, Dante. They talked a bit about shooting effigies instead of generic targets, and then he gave her a gun of her very own before they got down to their target practise.

And then, finally, Verity and Liam made their way to the Isle of Ikea to do some furniture shopping. And I really have to wonder why Fandom Radio is reporting on Ikea's news, but the squirrels are informing me that they'd really just take any excuse to head over there for meatballs. I can't fault them for that. And apparently this place is huge, because they were making contingency plans in case they got lost in there, never to be free again. Something about who gets eaten first?

I probably don't want to know.

And that's all the notes, so I'm going to get back to doing nothing of any importance at all on this, my Monday. Until next week, Fandom.

Hey again, Fandom! Or... whoever is left on the island, anyway. Seems like everyone's up and leaving today. Anyway, this is Kanan with my last broadcast before the summer term, so let's just get into this and get it over with, shall we?

As usual, the school and the dorms were quiet. Right on into town it is, then, with Jaina watching her kids at the Perk and messaging people to let them know she was in town. People, here, being Skywalker, who greeted the kids before acknowledging Jaina. Is that a thing people do around children? Huh. At Luke's, the special of the day was square pancakes, and no, I'm not going to wear one on my head like a mortarboard. Summer came in to get some things off her chest and to say bye, and Kitty wanted to know if square pancakes taste better before we talked a little about the holosuites at the business Raven is revamping - they're excellent, check them out once she opens - and hobbies I might or might not have had as a teenager.

Sparkle just didn't want to be at work yesterday at Demon Marcus, and at the Groovy Tunes, Jono was sending texts out, and got replies from Karla and Emma. The squirrels tell me that Karla wound up phoning, and they could hear her being shrill from the rafters. So apparently Jono messed up somewhere. Atton was at Caritas, also making calls, when Sia came in to check up on him just to find out that some Sith kidnapped a planet that a bunch of his friends were on. There are some notes I'd rather never read again. There would be one of them, right there. Excuse me a moment.

*This extended moment of censor beeps has been provided for you courtesy of your friendly neighborhood squirrels.*

Okay. Got that out of my system. Anyway, Atton is leaving this morning, which was what he told his roommate, Sparkle, when he stopped by to be a pest.

In thankfully less Sithy news, Summer had help from her brother, Morty, setting up for her final-party-as-a-student event in the preserve. People mostly showed up with food, like Peridot, who brought marshmallows, Uma, who brought Twinkies and Devil Dogs, and Yang, who provided a lot of bbq pork. There were people there to eat the food, too, like Sidon, who was eating raw hot dogs until Yang came up to him to suggest he try them with toppings. Dr. Lecter was there to congratulate Summer on her graduation. Summer and Rey talked about Saturday's scorpion problem. Jason approved of the way Summer fended those scorpions off, and I'm guessing his idea of 'fending off' is different from mine, because I have holographic evidence that she tried to tell one off while poking at it and taking selfies. Gratuity told Summer that she's set a pretty high bar for future parties, so now Fandom knows that's what they've got to live up to from now on. And Kaylin made an appearance, too, to eat the food and people watch.

And that's all the notes, so I'm going to get back to the usual, walking the dog and wondering how much longer before Raven opens those holosuites for business again. Kanan out.