WTFH

*loud crashing noises*

Chuck: STOP HUGGING ME!

Emmett: I'M GONNA MISS YOU SO MUCH, YOU DOUCHEBAG!

Chuck: GET OFF OF ME, YOU'RE GOING TO BREAK SOMETHING!

Emmett: SAY YOU'RE GOING TO MISS ME TOO!

Chuck: STOP--OW! Fine! I'm going to miss you too!

Emmett: Do you mean it?

Chuck: Yeah, sure, whatever.

Emmett: That's so sweet--

Chuck: --you hug me again, I'm going to stab you.

Emmett: *sigh* Fine.

( Caaaaaan you feel the love toniiiiiiiiiiiiight )

Emmett: Hey, sorry I'm la...

Scarf: Hi!

Emmett: ...te. Chuck? Have you turned into a woman again? I swear, dude, you need to see a doctor for that or--

Scarf: Oh, no. I'm not Chuck. I'm his scarf.

Emmett: Okay then. I'll just roll with that. Where's Chuck?

Scarf: He found out Blair left so he's on the roof being sad. But he said I should come here and help you out!

Emmett: Coolio, I can work with that. You're hot. How's being human working out for you?

Scarf: I had a foursome last night with Chuck and two other hot girls!

Emmett: So it's working out pretty well then.

( Emmett's ability to roll with anything is amazing )

Hey, Fandom! This is Emmett Cullen with WTFH Fandom Radio. I hope you guys are enjoying your break. I know I am. Enjoy it while you can, we've got to go back to class soon. Lame.

Well, it's quick and dirty tonight so let's get started.

( Mmm quick and dirty )

I DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, OKAY?

*squeaky laughter*

I will eat every single one of you, I swear to god. I'll do it! So just shut the hell up.

*sigh* This is Emmett Cullen with WTFH Fandom Radio and I swear to god, nothing weird happened to me today. The squirrels are spreading vicious lies! Lies, I tell you!

( Emmett did not have it his way today )

Hellllllllo, Fandom! This is Emmett Cullen with WTFH Fandom radio and, boy, were you guys busy tonight with your classes and your parties and your fights. I like that. The parties and the fighting, I mean. I can do without the class.

Let's get started, shall we?

( You say it's your birthday... )

What up, Fandom, this is Emmett Cullen bringing you the news for today. I've already skimmed over the notes and I am happy to say that I don't have to make crap up for you guys this week. Yes! Saves me some work. I hate it when you guys are boring.

Let's get started, shall we?
( And, look, there is a cut )

Emmett: Helllllllllo, Fandom! This is Emmett Cullen sitting on the deck of a really big boat with some squirrels--

Chuck: Pale scary guy!

Emmett: And Chuck Bass! Who smells like tequila, sex...and weed. So basically a weekend in Tijuana.

Chuck: Wow. You've got, like, super smelling.

Emmett: Are you drunk?

Chuck: Kind of, thank you for noticing.

Emmett: Well, since you're already here you get to help me read notes.

Chuck: Ooooooookay then.

( Lots of notes means I get to use two people. So there )

Emmett: What up, Fandom? Emmett here and holy [feedback]ing god, you guys were hilarious today. You truth telling bastards, making asses of yourselves. You can't pay for this kind of entertainment--

*door opening*

Chuck: Will you please stop touching me? God, I feel like I'm being groped by furry carnies.

Emmett: Dude. What are you doing here? Shouldn't all of you hum--people be embarrassing yourselves with your truthiness?

Chuck: Believe me, there is nothing more I would like to do than to go back to my room but these [feedback]ing squirrels wouldn't leave me alone. Apparently you need help. Not that I mind because I like the attention that radio gives me. It makes me feel like gossip girl and--GOD DAMMIT.

Emmett: *laughs* It makes you feel like a girl?

Chuck: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. I'm [feedback]ing leaving--

Emmett: Uh. I don't think that wall of squirrels is going to let you leave.

Chuck: You're a giant, can't you make them move?

Emmett: Probably. But this is going to be too much fun.

Chuck: [feedback] my life.

( Long radio is long )

Hey, Fandom! You guys like me! Or at least I think you do. You voted for me, after all. Anyways, this is Emmett Cullen doing my radio thing and I'd like to take the chance to say, suck it squirrels. You're stuck with me so take that.

HEY! Did you know it was snowing? I love snow. Dude, if there's a snowball fight someone call me. I love snowball fights. I totally kick ass and take names.

Okay, let's do this!

( Snowsnowsnowsnow )