WTFH

This be likeguidelines bringin’ ye the latest from what be turnin’ out t’be one Hell of a Friday. Sometimes literally.

But first, classes.

Professor Jerusalem be goin’ fishin’. Those poor fish. He be leavin’ his classes in the capable hands o’ his assistants Krycek ‘n Jake. Duce be havin’ a bit of a discussion in the quad. A loud discussion. Which be not that polite. But it also be not violent, because Rover be watchin’.

Physics be havin’ a quiz, Celtic Lit be givin’ thar presentations, and Math be havin’ apples ‘n oranges. I think thar might’ve been some studyin’, too, but I were distracted by the apples. Mmm. Apples.

Speech be watchin’ movies, Physical Geography be discussin’ climate zones, Gardenin’ be learnin’ about flowers—-I know I be shocked--and Abnormal Psych be comin’ up with experiments t’conduct on each other. I be sure nothin’ be goin’ wrong wit’ that idea.

Professor Cregg, the Doctor, Professor Tick and Dean Bristow all be holdin’ office hours.

The Gun Club be showin’ each other thar weapons. It be not in a dirty way, though. I be disappointed, too. In the library, Zero still be a cat, because these manner o’ things happen around here, and Angela, Susan ‘n Shep be applyin’ t’be library wenches.

Thar be other manner of things goin’ on today as well. Yes, I be draggin’ this out. Deal with it.

Callisto be gettin’ an art lesson from Jake, Wesley ‘n Lilah be meetin’ over coffee, Maia be visitin’ Allison ‘n chattin’ with Lana in the park, and Professor Cregg be chattin’ with Mayor Red about the Harvest Festival.

Paige be takin’ singin’ lessons from Beethoven, who I thought were deaf. Wonder what else she could be doin’ instead…it seems t’ involve dinner, regardless.

Michael be seen goin’ into Blood Gulch Arms, Inara ‘n Jarod be tryin’ to learn how to tie cherry stems wit’ thar tongues (Miho be quite good at it), and Gob be performin’ at Caritas where Anakin be checkin’ to make sure that a pirate hasn’t been thar t’pick up a copy of his on-stage performance on Wednesday when he be caperin’ around dressed as a wench. I be not. Paranoid, isn't he?

Crichton be givin’ cookies to anyone who be wantin’ some, Beka be talkin’ with Anakin ‘n Cally, Edward ‘n Sakura be talkin’ in the common room, Professor Sidle be checkin' in on Professor Grissom, and Veronica be headin’ home fer the weekend. Which be a dead smart move, in retrospect.

Because the main reason ye all be tuned in tonight is t’find out what be goin’ on all over town. Don’t ye be frettin’. The Pirate be knowin’ all. That be why the Pirate be currently covered in crosses ‘n holy water. I might look like a stupid bastard, I be not a stupid bastard.

Rory be preparin’ fer a lovely night out wit’ Logan-who-used-t’be-a-bunny when Angelus be comin’ into my house ‘n bitin’ her almost t’death. While bein' snarky. The fiend. Logan-who-be-bunny be comin’ home as well and be just as excited by what he be findin’ as ye can imagine. Then Angelus be tryin’ to turn Logan into a vampire. Not a bunny. A VAMPIRE. He would’ve succeeded, too, if it weren’t fer those meddlin’ kids, God bless ‘em, over at Aziraphale’s shop. After Professor Maclay be puttin' the whammy on Angelus, she be headin' home with Shane.

Marty be thar fer a while before headin’ out of the shop and runnin’ into Professor Drusilla. Who be not excited about what they be gettin’ up to in thar. And who also be a vampire. Holy shit. At the end o’ the night, the score be Marty 1, Crazy Squid Lady 0. But barely. Belthazor also be not happy about what they be up to, either. Crowley be thar to stop him. Thar be all manner of fireball throwin’ and scary shape-shiftin’ goin’ on. And Phoebe, who be gettin’ a vision that Belthazor be in danger, be sendin’, um, Beka ‘n Piper to help. Who as far as I be aware, be neither able t’shapeshift or to throw fireballs. So points fer bravery t’the both of ‘em. But points fer some willfull stupidity as well. That fight be endin’ Crowley 1, Belthazor makin’ a smokin’ crater in the park.

So Angelus be runnin’ to the forest, as ye will, and he be runnin’ into Dean Bristow, as ye do. He be callin’ himself Angel now. Angelus. Not Dean Bristow. But if he be wantin’ t’be called Angel, too, more power t’him. The Dean be promisin’ that Angelus-Angel-person-thing be protected on campus, and be droppin’ him at the dorms. Angelus-Angel-person-thing be collapsin’ against Crichton’s door, where he ‘n Aeryn be reactin’ as you would to a pukin’, guilt-ridden, bleedin’-all-over-the-place, newly souled vampire. Not very happily.

Speakin’ o’ bleedin’ all over the place, Jake ‘n Krycek be comin’ back to my house where Rory ‘n Logan be, well, bleedin’ all over the place. They be takin’ Rory to the clinic, where Marty be headed as well, and Logan be headin’ out after Angelus. While still bleedin’ all over the place. He be gettin’ as far as Xander, Angelus’s roommate, before finally goin’ to the clinic. Krycek ‘n Jake be havin’ a bit of a meltdown comin’ back from the clinic, as ye might imagine, and Quinn, who were in the clinic gettin’ her hand looked at when all the drama be beginnin’, be holdin’ court in a common room to tell everyone her tale.

This all be soundin’ quite dire, aye? Have no fear, though! Little Wooden Boy has risen again! Not like that, ye dirty minded scallywags.

That be all from the Crow’s Nest. Keep an eye out fer the Rover and the occasional plummeting Belthazor, and have a good night!