Emmett: Helllllllllllo, Fandom! This is Emmett Cullen and Chuck Bass with WTFH Fandom radio.

Chuck: Emmett, there's something I need to do.

Emmett: And what's that?

Chuck: *sigh* Here's the five hundred dollars I owe you from the bet last week.

Emmett: Whoa! Didn't think you'd actually pay me, dude. Much less on air.

Chuck: I want Francine to make me brownies, dammit, now just take the money and shut up.

Emmett: Hey, not complaining.



School

Emmett: You want to do the honors this week?

Chuck: Nothing, because it's Sunday.

Dormishness

Emmett Good work. Claire was packing for the move when Jon came in to ask her if she wanted food. Eva, who I'll assume is new--

Chuck: She is new. And hot.

Emmett: --thank you for the assessment, Chuck, made a phone call. Kate and Bobby were chatting when Kate turned into a cat. Jean and Bobby proceed to freak out afterwards.

Chuck: I knew I forgot to tell her about something. Sorry, Jean.

Emmett: Over at the Rumor Gal cabin, which I assume will be filled with drama and fabulous clothes, Ears moved into the cabin. Arthur picked on the state of Ears' room before discussing Tony leaving and putting Karla in co-charge of the reserves. froggy Robin moved in with a bag bigger than he is. Ears and Edmund meet and talk about how lucky Arthur is to have Ears.

Chuck: Servants are a nice thing to have.

Emmett: Sam's your servant now?

Chuck: That's not what I was talking about, stop getting me in trouble.

Emmett: Yeah, like you need help doing that. Also in the Rumor Gal cabin, Zayne had a vision that somehow led him to looking under his bed. In the Bitterwoman cabin, which I'll assume is filled with PMS, Joan unpacked and hung around the living room. Jennifer and Joan bemoan the lack of eyecandy in the cabin this time around and they both discover they're sheriff's daughters. Jennifer recognizes Savannah from class and says hi and Savannah discusses cheerleader business with Joan. K-Mart and Joan also talk about the lack of shirtless guys in their cabin.

Chuck: Sucks to be you, I've got plenty of them.

Emmett: You'd be happy anywhere, wouldn't you? Over at the Smile Time cabin which is probably filled with creeper puppets, Katchoo was hanging out by the front steps and smoking. Badgerface was all bouncy--

Chuck: Always a nice sight.

Emmett: Indeed. And she brought presents for Katchoo. Harper is under the assumption that this will be a sing-a-long type of deal and I'm sure Katchoo wants to kill herself right about now. Adora is immediately friends with Katchoo because they have to depend on each other as cabinmates. I was not aware that was part of the deal. Rachel confronted Katchoo about making fun of her door fetish over radio. What the hell is a door fetish, Chuck?

Chuck: Why are you asking me?

Emmett: Uh, because you're Chuck Bass.

Chuck: Like...screwing against a door? I don't know.

Emmett: I'm not sure I want to know anymore. In the Abaranger cabin, which will be filled with bad dialogue and monsters in unconvincing costumes, Mirax was unpacking and checking out the cabin. She meets Angela, who tells her that she still doesn't get this place, even after a year. Bobby brought cat!Kate to the cabin and he and Mirax decide the cat should stay with them for the time being. Tosh and Mirax get to know each other and Elena and Mirax get to know each other by discussing a theory that involves the administration implementing the move to the cabins so they can steal our stuff.

Chuck: Please, like any of you have anything worth stealing.

Emmett: Tahiri had a nightmare over at the Wendy the Werewolf Stalker cabin. I'll assume that one is filled with snappy dialogue and, you know, werewolves. Over at the Galaxy Quest cabin, which will be filled with cheesy dialogue and cheap sets, Gabrielle is settling into her new surroundings. Jaina and Gabrielle talk about newbies and classes and Gabrielle asked Valentine advice on her writing. Claire thought it was cool that Gabrielle is a bard and they talk about their respective homelands.

Chuck: By the way, Claire, you made cookies the other day and didn't give me any. That hurts.

Emmett: You are such a whore for baked goods, god. Shilo was trying to get a fire going at the Leery's River cabin. I'll assume that one will be filled with drama like the Rumor Gal cabin but people won't be as well dressed. And Penelope was chillaxin over at the Lightning Bug cabin. Again with the snappy dialogue but this one will probably get canceled early. Doesn't mean it wasn't any good. Remember, even Galaxy Quest only had three seasons and that show was awesome.

Anyways. Over at the Peter and Peter cabin, which will probably only be remembered by people who watched Nickelodeon in the 90's, Jon brought s'more materials for everyone. Aren't you nice? Jack was amused that they are cabin'ing together for a second time and they talk about how they've become desensitized to Fandom's ability to shock.

Chuck: Great. You've gone and jinxed us all.

Emmett: Seriously. Eva was lugging stuff to the Lightning Bug cabin and got help by way of George Cooper. They discuss her plans to make the cabin "party central" and she shoots him down when he hits on her. Ha! Jean Grey offers to help Eva too and they discuss being newbies and how Eva isn't bothered by the zombies. Good for you. Over at the Spooky Things cabin, which would have--

Chuck: Hot brothers.

Emmett: I was gonna say ghosts, you pervert. Anyway, Agnes was doing the whole s'mores thing before being joined by Yuffie. Agnes teaches her the art of s'more making. Alex Karev decided to have a smoke by the main campfire and apparently that sent a signal for everyone and their [feedback]ing mother to show up.

Chuck: Whoa. Aggression.

Emmett: Do you see how many notes are here? I don't know why I have to do them all.

Chuck: Because you do dorms and I do town. It's just how it goes.

Emmett: You suck. Griff says he can't get away from Alex and Alex takes some of his Swiss Cake Rolls and calls him a nerd.

Chuck: Just have sex already.

Emmett: Seriously. Kyle also snags some Swiss Cake Rolls and he bonds with Griff over being new and newish, respectively. Hurley gave Griff a s'more as payback for help Griff offered. Somehow that led to Griff telling him about how he walked in on Alex having sex once.

Chuck: He probably did it on purpose to subtly express his want to violate you sexually, Griff.

Emmett: I agree. Rose is pissed about having a class tomorrow morning and explained to Alex that she didn't pick it herself before talking about his How to Be Awesome class. Griff asked who picked Rose's classes and she says it was probably her old headmistress. Apparently Rose has bad manners.

Chuck: It's why we get along so well, Sis.

Emmett: Hurley sympathized with Rose and offered a s'more to make her feel better. Kyle asks to share the fire and claims that he's an expert at being a new guy and Alex claims to know everything. I'm gonna say you're both wrong. Rose teases Kyle for a bit before he expresses his confusion over how everything is shared here.

Hurley introduces Kyle to the s'more and asks if he's from Apocalypse Land. What a crappy place to be from, amirite? Blair was scoping out newbies and explained to Alex her rating system. Kyle and Blair introduce themselves and talk about New York versus LA and if he's ever been skiing. He prefers to hunt, actually. Blair and Rose are catty at each other with Rose suggesting Blair research witty comebacks and Blair insinuating Rose is unladylike and can't read.

Chuck: Ladies, ladies, ladies. This can all be solved with a catfight with me as a referee.

Emmett: Classy as always, Chuck. Hurley offered Blair a s'more, which she declined, before talking about dimensional discrepancies and being from separate coasts. Serena offers to teach Blair the art of s'more making and Blair blew her off.

Chuck: Give up, S.

Emmett: Alex correctly pegged Tara as a new student. She explains she's here on scholarship and he explains he got sent here after stabbing someone with a pencil. Cray-zee. Griff is surprised to find out that Tara is Fiona's roommate and says, no, he and Fiona aren't dating. Then she explains the cabin names to him. Tara and Kyle talk about the camping she did as a kid and Kyle said he's lived in the wilderness, only not on vacation. Kid's intense yo.

Elle B. waves at Tara and they talk about about cabin life and how Layla's "I know stuff" intro is creepy. Hurley introduces himself to Elle and explains the stranger side of Fandom and talks to Alex about gremlins. Elle tells Alex she'll be fine as long as she doesn't turn into a cat and then she asks him if he'd take her back to the cabin if she was a cat. Then they talk about manipulation tactics and about how Elle thinks Alex is pretty. Rose and Elle discuss fight club and Serena talks about marshmallow roasting techniques with Kyle. Alex and Serena discuss s'mores. She tells him sticks aren't extremely sanitary and how she's not the type to get her hands dirty.

Chuck: Oh we both know that's a lie, Sis.

Emmett: Creeeepy. Elle W. wants to know why the cabins are necessary and Alex suggests they are spraying for lice. Elle blames it on him, he blames it on the student who turned into a cat. Griff warns Elle not to listen to anything Alex says, seriously, have sex already, and Elle wants to know if Turtle's stories about mutant alligators are true. Yes, yes they are. Kyle tells Elle that cabins are more efficient than dorms and she wants to know what you cook over a fire. Seriously? Alex teased Sam Winchester about being a giant and Sam tells him he's grumpy because he's not fond of one of his cabinmates. Oh, gee. I wonder who he's referring to.

Chuck: You know, Samuel, I didn't need an excuse to annoy the hell out of you for the next three weeks but you went and gave me one anyway. Thank you. I'll see you when I get back tonight.

Emmett: It really was his own fault for saying stuff like that around the squirrels. Kyle offered Sam a s'more and Sam tells him about how he's been in Fandom for three summers now. Bobby joined the campfire and told Alex how his roommate turned into a cat. Alex said it could be worse; he could have turned into a girl.

Chuck: You know that's not entirely awful.

Emmett: You're just saying that because it happens to you all the time.

Chuck: Twice. It's happened twice.

Emmett: You're due for another one. Kyle tells Bobby about people keep giving him food and about Bobby's roommate-cat. Griff and Bobby discover they are cabinmates and also discuss the roommate-cat. Done dorms, take the goddamn notes.

Chuck: Okay, okay. Good work.

Townieness

Chuck: Cable and Deadpool are hanging out with Jan and children's television and talk about Cable's meeting with Jean. Sean was hungover at the Sporting Good store. There was a sale at the T&C and Yuffie comes int to talk to G'Kar about exchange rates and her classes. Surprise, surprise, Zack's happy at the Fina. Yuffie bounces in to talk to chat with Zack and have juice. God, I'm bored already.Blysse is at the Gig and Francine visited with sandwiches. Ben got a lot of visitors at Things Reborn. Daisy dropped by to talk about the weekend, Layla informed Ben she was working there on Tuesdays now and Elena came in looking for books. Jackie is looking to hire at the porn store.

Emmett: Also known as Dite's Decadent Delights.

Chuck: Yes, that place. Vince and Jackie have some communication issues and Elena came in to browse the video section. Deadpool showed up to add to the alliteration. Because he's weird. Robin was late opening Caritas but I won't hold it against her. I'm a good boss like that. Speaking of which, I stopped by to check to see how she's doing.

Emmett: You mean you stopped by to annoy her.

Chuck: Pretty much. As per usual for a Sunday, there was Fight Club and, as per usual, there was mingling. Jack O'Neill asked Jon who Claire was and then went over to meet her. Elle and Claire talk about rooming arrangements and Elle says her roommate doesn't like her. I could offer you a room for the night, if you want.

Emmett: Smooth.

Chuck: Thank you. Rose and Blysse make plans to fight next time and Yuffie and Elena talked about previous fighting experience. People were in the training area and then, naturally, people sparred. It was Triela vs. Leto and Jack O'Neill vs. Yuffie. And Ino asked Tyler about using powers during Fight Club and gets a negative response. As she should. Powers aren't fair.

Emmett: You're just saying that because you don't have any.

Chuck: Shut up.

Emmett: We done?

Chuck: We're done. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go bother someone who isn't fond of me.

Emmett: Have fun! And goodnight, Fandom!