WTFH

Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! And an especially big greeting to all our new students and teachers! There sure are a lot of you, and I tried to meet most of you, but to those I missed, hi! I'm Turtle Wexler, and hopefully someone's told you about radio and that's why you're listening! I'm here to report to you all the day's events, the interesting and the uninteresting, as provided by the island's intrepid, drunken squirrels.

Valentine: Very drunken, by the looks of it.

Turtle: Oh, yeah! And, everyone, meet Valentine Wiggin. She's new here, but we got to talking about radio, and she was very curious about it, so she'll be joining me today.

Valentine: Hi. I'm just a little fascinated that you have squirrels that collect the news of what happened during the day, and then someone actually reads it off for everyone to hear.

Turtle: You catch on quick, Val. You'll be a natural at this! But let us not waste time, and let us get to the part you really want: the news!


( Turtlentine Radio? Valenurtle? Wigler? )

Turtle:And there you have it! That's today's news! Be sure to tune in all these next few weeks; it's about the time for radio auditions, and you'll want to vote for the best! Remember, a vote for Turtle Wexler is never a vote wasted! Good night and have a prosperous tomorrow!