WTFH

Yaaaaar! Good evenin', maties, it's Friday, September the Nineteenth, aaarrrg. It be an important date, ye landlubbers, fer me to be talkin' like a pirate 'cuz not only be it pirate radio, but it also be talk like a pirate day, yaaaar! It'd be a crime if'n I didn't respect that! I'd have to be walkin' the plank! An' I don't wanna, so I be readin' the news all proper pirate talkin' like, yaaar.

I be Turtle Wexler, an' I don't always be talkin' like this. I wanna thank all of ye scalliwags who voted for me to be here on the pirate radio, arrg, and wanna take a moment to hope ye all extend yer votes to the upcoming Student Council elections, yaaaaar. I be a good and honest and trustworthy candidate for Junior Representative with plenty'o'experience and determination. I'll bet on me own eyepatch, yaaar!

*clears her throat a moment*

Seriously, look how dedicated I am to radio, I'm talking like a freaking pirate. Imagine what I'll do for the student government if I'm willing to do this for just a simple radio show.

*clears throat again*

YAAAR. But any vote be a good vote so long as ye do vote, so...don't forget to vote! Yar!

But now, it be time for the news, ye rum-swiggin' mateys!

( Did you see the pirate doing piercings at the mall? Yeah, he was charging a buck an ear! )

That be all the notes for today and today's tournament, but thar be sure to be some more tomorrow, although thar might be a sore lackin' o' pirate talk. After tonight, though, ye might be glad for that.


Thank ye all for voting for me for radio! I hope ye all who be juniors do the same for student government! Good night and be havin' a prosperous tomorrow!