Entries tagged with jim halpert

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, January 1st

Hey gang. Jim Halpert here. I had to speed back from New York to bring the squirrels some nuts, but they've finally agreed to let me have my Friday nights to myself again.

Fortunately, they agreed to this on a really light week because everyone was still in New York.

( New Year's Radio! )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, December 25th

I can't believe they actually e-mailed me the notes. I guess it shouldn't surprise me that squirrels who can take detailed notes can use e-mail, but... Oh, wait, I'm on?

Happy Holidays, Fandom. This is Jim Halpert, reporting from my parents' house in scenic Scranton, P-A. We apparently have the technology to connect me to you through the use of something called a 'telephone,' so I can't get out of this like I did the day after Thanksgiving.

I have to get back to my nephew destroying me in Mario Kart, so let's get right to it.

( HO! HO! HO! )

Entry tags:

jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, December 18th

School's out for winter, everyone, and you know what that means.

Actually, I don't know what that means. I'm a rookie here. But I'm pretty sure it means you're all too busy celebrating not having to learn or teach for two weeks that you're probably not even listening to me right now. Don't worry, I'll forgive you.

( Who laughs this way: HO HO HO? Santa laughs this way: HO HO HO. )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, December 11th

Evening, everyone. This is a smokey Jim Halpert, telling you that only YOU can prevent kitchen fires by not letting Biff cook in your kitchen.

( Where there's smoke, there's one of Jim's housemates. )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, December 5th

Hi there. You know, one of the best things about living in Fandom is that you apparently don't need to buy any ornaments for your Christmas tree. They might just appear in your sock drawer. I didn't know that before today.

Another good thing about Fandom? Having the chance to tell all of you what you did today. So let's get on with that, shall we?

( I have nothing clever for the tag. All the cleverness was saved for the broadcast. )

Entry tags:

jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, November 20th

... OH! He beat you with his flush. Tough luck.

Oh, wait, am I on? Hi, Fandom! Jim Halpert here with your news and a bunch of squirrels. Gambling is legal here, right? If I were playing poker on the air with a bunch of squirrels I wouldn't get in trouble? Well, just in case, I want to make it clear that I am in no way doing that. And that sound you here is not me shuffling a new deck. It's probably some static. You should get a new radio. Maybe ask the squirrel on my right for some money since he's come into a lot of it recently.

Well, let's get on with the news fast so the squirrels and I can finish up our completely innocent conversation about what it would be like if we were playing Texas Hold 'Em.

( ALL IN! )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Saturday, November 14th

Good evening, Fandom. This is Jim Halpert in a different night than usual, just to make sure you're all paying attention. Unfortunately being on a different day means that I can't really talk up how great my class is. And they really do deserve it when I do that because, really, they're a great class. I guess they'll just have to do without that praise this week.

But there is some actually news for the day, so let's get right to that.

( Pirate Radio: Completely free of of hamster tubes. )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, November 6th

Hi. My name is Jim Halpert and I'm addicted to Facebook. So if I take a break to answer some Social Interview questions, well, you've been warned.

( The answer to one question is LASER EYES. Which question? Tune in to find out! )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, October 30th

'Twas the night before Halloween
And all across the town
Not a creature was stirring
Except to set up tricks to cause frowns

The costumes had been bought
And laid out with care
For the celebrations tomorrow
That soon would be there

But notes had been brought
To the station filled with booze
And I'm going to read them
I'm Jim, and this is the news

( It's been a long day. That's my only excuse. )

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Fandom Radio, Friday, October 23rd

Jim: Hey there. Did you know there was a dance going on tonight? Actually, I'm pretty sure you do know that and nobody's listening because you're too busy having fun.

.... At the dance.

Any other kinds of fun isn't anything I want to know about. Um. Let's start over.

Hey there. Did you know there was a dance going on tonight? Because there is. And let's just get on with the news before I make a joke that could be taken the wrong way.

( That was cut, right? )

[OOC: Big thanks to

fates_jaye for the assist!]

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, October 16th

Hey there, Fandom, it's Jim. Let's get this done fast so I can get back to playing some Farkle on Facebook.

( Tiny radio is still cut! )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Sunday, October 11

Good evening, Fandom! Or what's left of you, anyway. This is Jim Halpert, checking in while most of the island is off on a trip. And with so many people gone, that means the island is exposed for the worst kind of danger that could possibly be thrown at us. That's right, crickets.

( Needless lj cuts ahoy! )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Friday, October 2nd

Hello Fandom. This is Jim Halpert and I might be dreaming. Either that or I actually did get tied up by a bunch of squirrels who carried me to the radio station and are giving me notes to read. I kind of hope it's a dream, but after being here for a month I'm pretty sure it's not.

So, I guess I'm doing the news!

( Parental Radio )

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jim halpert

Fandom Radio, Monday, August 31st

Good evening, Fandom! This is Jim Halpert, and I'm moonlighting here before I've officially started my actual job. I'm not sure how exactly that worked out.

... Why are there squirrels in the broadcast booth? And why are they giving me cards saying 'Welcome back'? This is going to be a strange night, isn't it?

( Onto the news )

Well, Fandom, that's all from me tonight. And congratulations. I've been here three days and I'm so much more confused than I was when I first got here. That takes some talent. I'd give everyone a sticker, but I don't have any. And even if I did, I'm pretty sure the squirrels would take them first.

And on that note, good night!

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Fandom Radio [Thursday, January 3rd]

Pam: Hello, hello, hello, Fandom. It's Pam.

Jim: And this is Jim. And tonight is the end of an era. Not a very long era, and an era that only took place on Thursdays, but still.

Pam: I think I may cry. We should carve our initials into the desk or something, to memorialize our place here.

Jim: I've already written my name in crayon on the ceiling.

Pam: Well, that's not very fair.

Jim: I'm sorry that you didn't think to bring a crayon.

Pam: I have markers and pencils and stuff, but you know I can't reach. If only I had someone to write my name up there for me...

Jim: Maybe once we're done broadcasting.

( Cut for the end of an era. Not a very long era, really. Not even a year. But still. The end! )

Jim: It's been a blast, Fandom. In the words of just about everyone who has ever signed a yearbook of someone they barely knew, stay sweet.

Pam: K.I.T.!

Jim: And we'll see you soon. In person. Not with our creepy disembodied voices speaking to you over electronic devices.

Pam: My voice isn't creepy. Yours might be.

Jim: Somebody doesn't want her name on the ceiling.

Pam: Neither of us has creepy voices!

Jim: I'll settle for that. Okay, Fandom! We're out of here! Have a good night.

Pam: Byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Fandom!

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Fandom Radio [Thursday, December 27]

Jim: Hello, Fandom. Tonight Pam and I are bringing you the news from a secret location.

Pam: Do you think they liked me?

Jim: The secret people whose house we are broadcasting liked you a lot. If they didn't, you'd probably have pie on your face. The apple didn't fall far from the tree in this secret household.

Pam: Oh, good. I was hoping I'd make a good impression on the secret people.

Jim: If they didn't like you, they're keeping it a secret from me. Which isn't likely. The Halperts are terrible at keeping secrets. Just like that.

Pam: And after all the work I put into keeping our location secret. Tsk.

( Read more... )

Entry tags:

jim halpert

Fandom Radio [Thursday, December 13th]

Jim: Hello, Fandom! This is Jim. *ahem*

"Pam": And this is Pam. If I sound a little weird it's because a cat's got my tongue. Because I was just an adorable little puppy and tried to eat the cat.

Jim: That wasn't a very funny joke, Pam. I think you may still be a little off due to the dog thing.

"Pam": It's still funnier than your jokes. Suck it, Halpert.

Jim: Wow. It's true, but still. Wow.

"Pam": It's okay because you're cute. Now you get started with the notes while I find out who won America's Next Top Model.

Jim: I believe it was Saleisha.

"Pam": Oh my god how?

Jim: I have no clue. Also, please don't ask me how I know that.

( In which Jim tries to convince everyone that he's not broadcasting alone tonight. )

Jim: And that's it for both of us tonight. *ahem* Pam's not going to say goodbye because she was very excited to go on that walk and has already left. And my throat hurts for no particular reason. Night everyone!

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Fandom Radio [Thursday, December 6]

Pam: HELLO FANDOM. I don't know why I'm bouncy. This is Pam.

Jim: And this is Jim who is not bouncy. But I could be if people bought me a pogo stick for Christmas.

Pam: Your Christmas present is not a pogo stick.

Jim: Not from you, but maybe from one of our loyal listeners. I will also accept a trampoline.

Pam: I want anti-gravity boots!

( More on Christmas gifts for your feet, then actual news )

Jim: And that's all the squirrels wrote.

Pam: I think my bounciness went away.

Jim: Want to get some candy on the way back, find the bounce again?

Pam: ....oooh. Yes. Night, Fandom!

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Fandom Radio [Thursday, November 29]

Jim: Hey, Fandom. It's good to be back in the station and not, say, hiding under my bed from my family.

Pam: My dad thinks you might be kind of weird, by the way.

Jim: He is a very wise man.

Pam: Yeah, he said it in an approving sort of way.

Jim: I'm going to ignore the sarcasm and say that he's also very nice.

Pam: Awww, look at you, sucking up where my dad can't even hear.

Jim: I'm just making sure that when you tell him that I'm a very nice boy you won't be lying at all.

Pam: I already did that. And I wasn't.

Jim: You're very nice. Oh, hey, we have news to report, don't we?

Pam: So we do. And it's not via email and phones!

Jim: In that case let's spare Fandom before I start calling you cute over the air. Not counting that time.

( This radio made me really thirsty )

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Thanksgiving Radio: Long-Distance Style [Thursday, November 22]

Pam: ...okay, I have the email up. Are you there?

Jim: Yes, I am. Squirrels, are we on the air?

Squirrel: *makes squirrel noises*

Jim: I think that's a yes.

Pam: Hi squirrels! And hi...everyone else. Sorry if we sound like crap. We're on cell phones. This is Pam, coming to you from Scranton, Pennsylvania.

Jim: And this is Jim from a couple towns over that I'm not going to divulge for my own safety. No offense but my parents won't appreciate their car being in Jello.

Pam: ...no one come cover my parents' car in plastic wrap or anything, either, okay?

Jim: I think you'll be safe. And if you're not, somebody's going to get pranked in revenge.

( Thanksgivaling Radio! )