Turtle: Good evething, fellow Fandomithes. You're lithening to WTHF radi--

Valentine: Are you...lisping, Turtle?

Turtle: Ohmygoth, Valenthine. I hath the worth toothache ether right now, and tho my thaw is numb from methicathan. I need it bether before tomorrow.

Valentine: I told you, Turtle, if you've got a toothache, you can go and rest and I'll just do radio by myself. I'm a big girl. I can handle it.

Turtle: I know! But we're a team! And ith noth that bad.

Valentine: I'm taking the bigger stack of notes, though, okay?

Turtle: Othay!

Valentine: Right. Welcome to the radio. Valentine and Turtle here, we're normally girls, and we shall mock those of you who aren't. Because that's just what we do here on WTFH radio. Let's begin.



SCHOOL

Valentine: Summer Vacation had a movie day, thanks to the teacher having a different gender today, but at least the movie was about a family trip.

Turtle: Val? Pleathe tell me thith is wrong about how in phyth ed, you guyth had to Jell-O wrethle.

Valentine: It's true, Turtle. It's true. Shame you're not in that class with me. We could have had a good match.

Turtle: Noooo. Bad Val. Thop that.

Turtle: Seff Espression frough muthic only worked on their protheths today, but there wath thill loth of snaths from Mith Upland foth efryone to enthoy. Thoan was highthly amuthed by Liir ath a girl, while Liir had tho explain to Mith Upland that he's in the right plathe, he just lookth like thomeone else the knowth.

Valentine: And Minsc didn't let being a woman hold him back from teaching Rangering!, and covering a lesson about talking to animals, with the usual side effects of target practice and sparring. Max came in to check on...and probably check out...Minsc, while Gwynn worked a little charm to try to get Minsc to find her a real demon dog.

Turtle: Then, in Stratethy Gameth, Rithk was played, and Ben'th boobth were being checkthed out by Emma.

Valentine: First off, a numb mouth is no excuse for passive sentences, Turtle, and secondly, he's fifteen, Emma. Which, okay, is only two years younger than myself, but it's Ben. Ben, I hope your tits are just fantastic.

Turtle: Don't thay thiths on radio, Val. Claire wath amuthed by Peter, but Mither Reid was justh freathed out by Mither Morgan's female, quoth, hotneth.

Valentine: Dr. Brennan is sadly leaving us, while Durden and Stark discuss how they're both hot as chick and plan for a trip.

Turtle: Anth Dr. Male Joneth ith actually a Dr. Female Joneth, which means now my dinstinthon method is kaputh. Gabriellthe came around to vithit.

Valentine: Skywalker prettily sulked at his computer screen, before he gets a, quote, 'survey call' at one time and a call from his wife at another, and a visit from Durden where it's established that Anakin's kid is on to something with wanting to play with his hair.


DORMS


Valentine: Harry's skull compliments Harry on his new feminine look, which is an amazing sentence that I feel very honored to have read.

Jon was properly exasperated by his present feminitiy, too, which got Claire pretty peeved off until she realized that it was him, and Edmund returns with the happy news that it isn't just them being affected. The craziness is always easier in groups.

Turtle: Her Royal Highneth was knocking on her handmaithen's door

Valentine: Hannibal sleepily accepted the awesomeness of him being a hot girl, while Liir was not. Worf had to assure Sookie that, yes, he was her roommate, just a different sex, while Francine is the lucky girl waking up with two girls by the name of Arthur and Merlin and has to assure them that it goes away, really. It's like a really bad zit, only with genetalia instead.

Turtle: GROTH.

Valentine: Bobby's screaming because he's a girl, oh my God, anything but that! The screaming definitely wakes Kate up, and I hope she pointed out that, well, he's been a penguin. Is a girl really that surprising? And he's still hiding under his bed when Kyle comes around and points out that something is very wrong here. Kyle then wants to know why George looks like Jaina, and now I just want to know if he's that short, too. Then George and Bobby talk about how they have to suffer together. Good Lord. You'd almost think they got their periods while they've got these ovaries, too. Jean then promptly informs Bobby to get out from under that bed, and Bobby wants her to check for someone named Wanda.

Turtle: Her Royal Highneth ith in a mood about being a girth, but Her Royal Highneth theemth to get in a mood about a papthercuth, tho...And Letho manathes to path himthelf off ath Lady Ghanithma and Arthur acthually falths for ith. Cuthe Jack--

--ith he ath cute as a girth, Val?

Valentine: Not as cute as you, Turtle.

Turtle: Forgeth I athked! Anywath, he and Her Royal Highneth talk about thith only lathing a day and that the thirrels can pith off. And Morgana bringth him clotheth, whith might noth fit unleth Arthur'th goth the goodth to fill 'em outh. And Dinah prethy muth justh annoyths Arthur until he openth the door tho the can compare herthef to Her Royal Highneth.

Valentine: Chuck is interrupted by Dean as he's checking himself out, but the interruption is assumed to be pretty welcome, considering that this means sex. Unfortunately, Leto and Alice waking up together probably doesn't, considering Leto then looked like Alice's teacher. Mullet Jack still has his mullet, which gives me faith in the world, really, and Cute Jack is actually sensible and calm about being a girl, which is part of why he's cute. Emma, also calm, is more interested in what he was up to last week. Rose is interested, too, once she gets past the Jack is a Girl part.

Turtle: Danny joinths the screamerth, while Kaylee ith justh thrilled that Ned's pretthy. Sthpock isth a girth, too, and Zack isth daring and breathks the thrend by being a puppy. Karla came around knocthing. Adam amuthes Annja asth a girth, and he geths a call from Billy.

Valentine: Priestly is having so much fun with his hair...yeah. Definitely girly. Griff and Karev also take it to a new level by being totally bitchy at each other and Karev wonders if Rose'll make out with him. Speaking of Rose, she's very amused as she works on her computer, before Karev interrupts her and we find out that the answer to his question is a yes. Griff comes get girly things from her at the price of his dignity, while Triela comes by to complain that boys grow more confusing once they have boobs. Elena was sending emails, herself.

Valentine: Ender camped out on the roof in his girly state, where Karla makes a very good attempt to insist that he isn't a girl, really. She's not too happy about Ben being a girl, either, and vows to damage whoever's fault this is, which, really, is a useless goal. And then Ben tells Ender about how pretty he is.

Turtle: Pretthier than yoooouuu.

Valentine: Which is not surprising. Just look how pretty he is as a boy.

Turtle: Oth snap.

Valentine: Leto was in the salle, looking like his sister and messing with his students heads. These students included the continually petulant Karla, the straight to business Claire, Triela who shows off a few tricks, and a Dinah who figures it out.

Turtle: Diana made uth of the fifth floor common room and the TV and a loth of thereal. Then Dinah enlighthenth Diana about the girths thing by asthking about the gender of her cat. Leda makth thure Dinah'th Dinah, and Dinah athures her that she'th not some guy turned to look like her. Priethly wanths chocolate thereal now that's he'th a girth, get ith? And Dinah totally likthes hith hair. Leda findths out how he'th uthally a guy, and Jennither notes that he'th gained new hair and thom boobths. Leda commenth on the thow asth Diana tellths her about it, and Diana and Jennither agree that more people thould eat more thereal.

Valentine: This brought to you by the natural thereal board.

Turtle: Thhhh.

Valentine: And, as he hunts up food on the second floor common room, Mullet Jack maintains his nickname even as a girl.

Valentine: Dinah, who is the gender she usually is and therefor not effected by a change in her center of gravity, worked on her air-walking on the roof. And then she's assaulted by Karla, who is having more coping issues with this whole girl thing than most of the guys combined, and there was more hugging for Leda, because they missed each other. Oh, and so did Triela, who also talked to Dinah about how she's been and Leda about how a week of normalcy around here would be cause for alarm. Spock apologizes for interrupting and introduces himself to Dinah, and Karla and Triela make with meeting him, too. Nothing like meeting new people when you're stuck in a new gender, right? Leda got some air, and Jon told Dinah about how his day's been...eventful, to say the least.

Turtle: Kathe ith taking advatath of the sixth thloor kithen to make thome foodth, and Thoan cometh up and they exthange boy turning into girths sthories before gething to paaaarthy detaailths. Liir and Thoan talthk about the differenthes involved in him being a girth, before he gets to finding out what he can help Kate with. Kate then chethks to thee if Hurley's usually a girth like that, while Thoan thust geths right to asthking who he ith.


Valentine: Tahiri hit up the salle, and Ben showed up to get called cute and get possesive over George flirting with Tahiri. And then there's what is technically girlkissy, though they wanted to make a point of the fact that Tahiri is not kissing girls, she's kissing her boyfriend. Who was a girl. With apparently very nice boobs.

And in the fourth floor common room, Sookie is playing a chick flick and eagerly waiting to see the results now that the dormitory is pumped up with estrogen. Griff establishes that he will not succumb, and Fiona guesses it's Griff based on his ears, which just makes me wonder how she knew it was Griff and not Merlin. An honest quiery. Tara and Sookie wonder if romantic movies will spoil them on a realistic interpretation of romance...yes, while Zayne deprives Sookie of compliments until he can guess who he is. Hannibal is looking for people to tell him how hot he is and winds up talking with Sookie about shaving and waxing. Fiona tells Sookie about recognizing Griff's ears anywhere, and Bobby shows off how to use your breasts as storage shelves.

Turtle: I...tho don't have enouff breaths for that.

Valentine: ...yeah. Me, neither.


TOWN

Turtle: Mither Thark wondered if Mither Rogerth wath a girl, too, and he wath. And making brownieth. For breakfath? And--

Valentine: Deadpool want to sex the mayor up while he's a girl. I don't think Turtle could bring herself to read that.

Turtle: Thanths, Val. Anyway, Mither Rogerth brought Mith Devereaux brownieths for breakfath, too. Theth's a thale on womenth clotheth at Pithie Duth if you hath a male ID. And there'th loths of womenth clotheth at Thingths Reborn, too, thomething that Mullet Jack and Ben take advantathe of, the latter gething Harper all exthited about eventhually being a boy.

Valentine: Liir seemed less than happy about his current state at the book shop, but he did at least get a visit from Rachel and they chatted about it. Max went for a swim, before Eric shows up to complain about how being a girl is icky and Vince showed up to show off his new curves. Arya's happy at the medicine shop, while Miss Connel mocked Gunther at the hotel. Large woman Gunther. And I missed it.

Turtle: Mith Prith was 'ard at 'ork at Mauvaise Chath Aparthments, where the renths an apartment to a corpth and gives Detective Reethe thome coffee for her headache. Mith Davis ith all pithy at the Gig, and Theriff Kowalski at the Trooper Thation hateths the island and trooperth that check out his knockerth. And Detective Reethe ith all, "Oh, no waiths," and the Theriff ith all, "yeth, waiths." He then geths Spethal Agenth Gibbth to set up a phone thystem and Spethal Agenth Gibbth triths to get him in a bra, before roping Detective Reethe into helping with the phone thythms. Detective Conthable Day just offerths to go on patrol with Ralph.

Valentine: Dex and Boxer made their way to the gym for a little girl on girl...

...sparring, while Miss Murray contemplated the state of her hair at the clinic. And Castiel contemplated outloud about the state of his apparent gender in the graveyard. Then, at the Perk, Leto doesn't manage to fool Irulan for long with his whole Ghamina bit; and Miss Atreides herself thinks she's gotten a double before Leto explains it to her. Loki swears about being a woman over at MHA, though he doesn't seem to mind the breasts, before making a desperate attempt to convince Durden that he's not Loki, he's actually Muse, who is dating Loki, but that doesn't work. Boxer threatens to either shoot him or take him for a pedicure once she discovers that he's not Pepper, and Dex's request that she not laugh at him goes unheeded. Then Dex and Loki talk about their boobs.

Turtle: Conthable Fayther woke up a girl, thurprith, thurprith, and Mith Ther...Mith Therbath...Mith Therbathth-- the depthuty mayor noted that he looked like a diff'rent girth thith thime.

Valentine: Biff was bouncily overjoyed with his new breasts, Barney's new promotion, and their plans to pick up hot lesbians. O'Neill's peeved about his female state until he looks into a mirror. Morgan's not happy about the girl thing, either, at his hardware store, where Castiel stops in and they talk about how Jimmy's adapting to the whole thing. Haley's trying to learn Spanish at Guilty as Charged.

Turtle braved the office despite her toothache, while Agnes just took the chance to take advantage of it by moving any of the women's accessories up front at the magic store. At Japhrodite's shop, I was reading, but got visits from Cute Jack, James Kirk, and my brother.

Turtle: Your brother vithited you in a thex thop. Isthn't that awkward?

Valentine: ...no? Um, Dinah and Priestly came into shop, too. Skeleton Jack, because we have a new Jack, sold Joan some luau decorations at his shop.

Turtle: Mither Reilly screamth like a girl, becauth he ith a girl thith morning, and that made Detective Conthable Day invethigate, but then she justh teathed him. And the Capthain dethided to thusth thay in while he wath a girl. Thmart man.

Valentine: Oz in his van down by the river--

Turtle: Cauthway.

Turtle: Down by the causeway, my bad. Anyway, he found out he's a girl today, too.

Valentine: O'Neill's out on his boat, not about to let ovaries keep him from a cold beer and a fishing rod. This confuses Joan, because he looks like her mom. Also not about to let his newfound breasts keep him out of his routine, although his involved rum and bad music, was the pirate.

Turtle: Hurthey afoids freak out at Covent Garthen Floferth.

Valentine: Desmond was feeling a little uncomfortable with his new womanly self, but he's got Veronica there to talk it over with him. And Dukes enjoys probably fifty buckets of ice cream and a nice chick flick.

Turtle: And Merthin was in the Pretherve, trying to mathic some cure foth the girth thing. Oh, Merthin. It'th never that eathy. Later, thomewhere elthe, Blysthe, Blind Theer, and Dinah are camping out and talking about what happenth with Tony.

Valentine: At Caritas, Chuck was giving Tino crap because he's hotter as a girl, but, really, that only comes to reason since Chuck's hotter than Tino as they usually are. He also cannot believe that Castiel couldn't get new clothes to fit his new hot body. Chuck then offers to solve She-Ra's problems finding trouble by giving her a job at the bar. Vince gets a girly drink to celebrate his new curves some more, while Effy hears from Chuck about multiple orgasms and new clothes being some of the perks of being a girl, but, as a girl, I'm sure she already knows. Eric? Still pissy about having girl bits. Chuck also recognizes Sam thanks to the bitchfaces he makes when Chuck tells him about how it's his body, he can do what he wants to it. And now we know how to tell it's Turtle when she turns into a boy. Just mention Leto and watch for the bitchface.

Turtle: Heeeeeey. Meeeeeean. I'm thick over here, and you make fun of me.

Valentine: I tease because I love. Minsc want to see how his new body takes alcohol, and Chuck wishes him luck. Miss Murray gets a good laugh out of it, while Max is helping by covering some of his drinks. Rachel Price is just going to ignore that Chuck is a girl, and Oz gets rootbeer. In a bar.

Turtle: What? Rootbeer'th good!

Valentine: In a bar. Max tries to pick Chuck up and fails, and Reese wants to know if Chuck's ordinarily a guy. Ben tries to get the girliest drink known to man, and winds up with a Barbie Doll. And, yeah, that's pretty girly.



Valentine: So I think that finishes up, and Turtle, don't even try to say the closing, you shouldn't have probably talked all through tha--

Turtle: --HATHAPROTHPEROTHTOMORROW! Ha! Goth it in!

*click*