Turtle: Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Welcome back to WTFH Radio, the source for all the news the squirrels feel fit to share and that hasn't had coffee spilled on it. They'll do that on occasion, spill coffee on the notes so you can't read part of them.

Valentine: Which gives us the pleasure of making things up for those coffee stains. 'Evening, everyone. Happy Friday. You've got Turtle Wexler and Valentine Wiggin, here, and I'm being nice and not bringing in anything from work to make Turtle squirm.

Turtle: And Turtle is very grateful for that.

Valentine: Even if it would be cute to see her squirm with that new haircut.

Turtle: Valentine!

Valentine: See? I don't even have to bring in anything to make her squirm, anyway.

Turtle: You are such a pain in the butt! Can we get started now?

Valentine: Nothing's stopping you.



SCHOOL STUFF

Valentine: The Oxymoronical Summer Vacation Class met to plan their ideal vacation on a budget, which also seems oxymoronical to the idea of 'ideal.'

Turtle: Hannibal subbed today for phys ed, so everyone had to go through a bunch of really lame phys ed staples.

Valentine: And Self Expression through Music had their first class today, a day late and a dollar short, all things considered. They made their introductions, which I'm sure everyone was glad to find out didn't involve singing, and then they discussed why people listen to music. Nothing about why people might randomly break out into song, however. Peyton and Robin were there as TAs.

Turtle: Rangering! talked about range weapons, which makes sense if you think about it. Kenshin wasn't sure if he really needed to learn range weapons, but Minsc assures him that knowing is half the battle! Either way, everyone shot stuff, fought beasties or fought each other. This is a very violent class. And then Arthur was there to TA, and probably made a lot of faces. Pouty faces. Maybe angry ones. Because's he's Arthur.


Valentine: Strategy games talks checkers today, and Fiona brought in a book for Reid. Ben also brought something for the teacher, a Jedi game called dejank.

Turtle: Isn't it traditional to bring the teacher an apple?

Valentine: Because Fandom is so big on tradition.

Turtle: Some traditions! It's just the randomly singing, turn into a boy, think you're someone else, have random kids for a weekend sort of tradition.

Valentine: Oh this place.

Turtle: Oh, and there's an abomination of nature in the office.

Valentine: The melk-elko--

Turtle: Don't even say it's name!

DORMS AND CABINS

Valentine: Robin the Frog interrupts Arthur in the middle of a brooding face session on the roof of Rumor Gal, which leads Arthur to just think Robin is a hallucination.

Turtle: How long has he been going to this school? Penelope munches on a snack while trying to decide what to do with her evening, and then Joan stops by so they can giggle about the crazy musical antics that were yesterday, talk briefly about Hurley, and deal with Penelope turning into a pig.

Valentine: As you do. Elle Woods works on some planning, including planning dinner at Luke's for her and her little dog, too, and Elle Bishop comes calling. Meeting of the Elles. Where's Eleanor and Ellie when you need them?

Turtle: And roomie Maron worked on a letter home, humming as she did it, because apparently yesterday wasn't musical enough.

Valentine: Yuffie turned into a ringtail, and if the pig and the ringtail weren't enough, we've got Jon turning into a dog. It's like a zoo in here. Either way, Claire was there to see that Jon is now a dog and agrees to take care of him in his current canine conundrum.

Turtle: Nice alliteration, Val!

Valentine: Thanks. Edward serenaded Adora from outside her cabin and, like Expression through Music, he's a little late on that one, but I guess it's still sweet. Then, Alex lazed around the Son of a Beach Campfire, because lazy people do lazy things. Dinah comes bearing marshmallows, and Alex wonders if that's the only food people bring with them to the cabins. Yes, Alex. Because they're too lazy to bring other things.

AROUND TOWN

Turtle: In town today, it's no surprise that Harper tracked down some scary clothes at Things Reborn, and Hoshi informs Mr. Gunther that she's not singing for him at the Arms Hotel. Japhrodite was looking for Mary, and Detective Reese checked in. There's a new petting zoo going up at the Gig and Sheriff Cooper warns Sergeant Kowalski not to taunt the troopers at the Trooper Station. Elena got fashion advice from Jenny at Pixie Dust, while Chloe helped Danny find the newest Y-Men at Android's Dungeon. Neeeeerds. Savannah restocked at Nast's Sporting goods.

Valentine: Hope was flipping a magazine in her downtime at Turtle & Canary, while, at the coffee shop, Minsc promises to mend the wounds caused by Rachel's hatred of peach scones. By eating them.

Turtle: Om nom nom.

Valentine: Exactly. Eve had some coffee at the art gallery, and Arya did stock at the medicine shop. And nothing much was happening at the book store for Liir except a visit from Ino to save him from boredom. And I opened Japhrodite's shop on time and even thematically, where Cute Jack and a gentlemen who thanks to the notes I now know is called Castiel stopped by.

Turtle: I love that you don't feel the need to go into detail on those visits, Val.

Valentine: One of the benefits of coming into the store on Friday. Discretion is the key. Especially when the notes are clearly wro--

Turtle: THEY SAY CUTE JACK STOPPED BY TO FLIR-- *muffled sounds*

Valentine: Discretion, Turtle, is key. Remember that, or next time I use my lips instead of my hand to shut you up.

Turtle: THERE WILL BE NO GIRLKISSY IN THIS STUDIO, WIGGIN. Not while we're in here, anyway. Detective Reese shows up at the docks and I hope her lack of constable means that I won't have to report on her as much as other people.

Valentine: Sorry to say, Turtle, the lack of constable only means a lack of British.

Turtle: Well, bullocks. Anyway, there was a staff meeting at the station earlier today, too. Captain Sparrow recognizes Arthur because he's the one all the squirrels are sighing at, and they discuss a squirrel uprising. I brought macaroni and cheese and told Captain Sparrow about the great deal he can get on a cooler at Turtle & Canary. Then Captain Sparrow finds out that Dean is not the Winchester with adorable floppy hair, but, don't worry, Sam was there, too. Katina brought the rum, so she was an instant success, although Chuck brought some, too, and then mentioned the whole owning the bar thing, so guess who's Captain Sparrow's new favorite.

Valentine: Me?

Turtle: You weren't even there.

Valentine: Ender was down at the junkyard to wait for Karla and Ben to apparently go into space. With Ben, he talks about how Granddaddy Skywalker is a humorless son of a bitch, which probably isn't a nice thing to say about your great grandmother, Ben. Karla assures Ender that she wouldn't have missed the flight, not even when there's awkwardness with Ben. I can't imagine why they'd be awkward together, but I do wonder. Does Ender get awkward around Tahiri?

And now I defer to Turtle for the status of this week's Support Services, though not on the status of Francine and Morgana's breasts.

Turtle: Thank you, Valentine. At today's Support Services, we worked on non-verbal communication through various Fandom-influenced games of Charades. Arthur was there. Not doing anything. But he was there. Layla was also there, but she talked to me because I said hi to her.

Valentine: I bet she knew you were going to say hi, too.

Turtle: Probably! Anyway, Claire had a puppy with her that I'd call cute but I learned it was Jon; we talked about my hair being cute. And Gabrielle should really lay off the caffeine. Seriously, Gabby. Ellie, Priestly, Mirax, Shilo, and I also enjoyed the delicious snacking...deliciousness. Shilo was super sweet and complimented my hair, before she said hi to Robin the Frog. Then there are the games, where Priestly tries to guess the meaning behind Layla's giggling, while Francine had to specify on the...specificity of Morgana's craziness for Claire. Robin and Shilo also paired up, but they're chatting, which kind of misses the point. And then Francine and Morgana...

Valentine: And their girls...

Turtle: *sigh* They were there to be talked to. Mirax asks Morgana about whether we've had to provide any support yet and about all the different Reserves going on that have Fandom more prepared than ever.

Valentine: Meanwhile, at Caritas, Chuck and Tino experimented with flammable shots. The squirrels are concerned for the zombies, but, to be honest, I'm more concerned for Chuck's hair. It seems ill-advised for someone who uses so much product to be so close to fire, especially when I'm not there to see Murphy's Law at work.

Turtle: Aside from Val wanting to see Chuck's head on fire, which isn't at all creepy, Val, really, Veronica trusts Chuck to pick a beer for her and then tells him about life in LA, while Miss Price suggests he stop setting all the booze on fire before complaining about how much Africa sucks. Dean, however, seems more approving, although he doubts booze needs pyrotechnics to be good, and wonders if Chuck spending time with Castiel is the start of a new kink--eeew. Chuck is then very observant in noticing that Miss Murray died her hair. It's a good time for hair changes, you know.

Valentine: Meanwhile, Detective Reese spares no time in hitting up the bar on the day she arrives. Smart lady. Tim makes a comment about Chuck's age and Chuck is not amused, while Esme joins the observant crowd and points out that Chuck's drinks are on fire, and continues to be utterly humorless. Aw, Esme. It's just better to humor them sometimes, really.




Valentine: And there you have it, the last of the notes. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!