Turtle: ...Chad, did you seriously just follow me all the way here?

Chad: You paid me twenty bucks to protect you on the way here, Turtle.

Turtle: Yeah, that was this morning, before the zombies were defeated. They're defeated now. There's nothing to protect me against.

Chad: But you already paid me.

Turtle: Yes, but sti--

*knock knock*

Turtle: Who's that?

Chad: Probably the cops.

Turtle: WHAT?

Chad: There were a lot of zombies. So I called the cops to help escort us back.

Turtle: BUT THEY'RE GO--

Daisy: ..what's all this, then?

Turtle: *sigh* Detective Constable, we--

Daisy: Got a call in from a Chad? I take it that's you, big guy?

Chad: *grunt*

Turtle: The zombies are gone, Detective Constable, we don't need--

Daisy: You sure? I mean, I am already here.

Turtle: Yes, I'm sure.

Daisy: I mean, I could just stick around anyway. Just in case.

Turtle: But they're gone.

Daisy: Well, yes, but. Mind if I do stick around? I write the transcripts of the broadcasts every Monday morning; if I just jot it down as it happens, since I'm already here, it'll save me a bit of time in the morning.

Turtle: Fine. Chad, if you're going to stay, too, you should at least help me with these notes.

Chad: Okay.

Turtle: Good. Here. You start.

THE INVASION

Chad: Er, um, okay. There were still zombies earlier today. Um, obviously. And people still fought them. Like Spider-Man. And Katina and an invisible force I'm pretty sure I know were fighting it out, too. Go get 'em, Kurosaki.

Turtle: Yeah, unless you've been living under a rock all weekend, you know that the zombie invasion came to a head today as they swarmed the dorms. Arthur gave a brief but moving speech, and gave Dinah a little extra encouragement. Triela complimented him for picking up a shotgun, and Romeo also noticed the new weapon in Arthur's arsenal.

Chad: Nice alliteration.

Turtle: Thanks. Rikku strongly backs Arthur up and lets him know her Guardian would have liked him. Éowyn is empowered by the speech and Zayne offers his own blessing. Viki is also there to join the fight; Jaina saluted with her lightsaber, and Sokka compliments Arthur for being a prince that actually deserves the title.

Daisy: ....awww.

Turtle: Yeah, yeah, don't get all sappy on us, Detective Constable. I thought you were just taking transcripts.

Daisy: Sorry; I'm a bit of a sucker for this kind of thing.

Turtle: Yeah, yeah. A whole troupe of animals the squirrels suspect to be Doctor Jones of the Male Variety, Sherrif Cooper, Dor, Jamie, and Worf made a rousing team and made a contraption to help, but there's no love from Doctor Jones for Marco. Sokka probably just wished he had a camera.

Triela offered Dinah some support, and so did Tahiri. Triela also nodded to Andros and was ready to go. She also asks Hannibal if he needs a bigger gun...

*snort*

Daisy: *snerk*

Chad: What?

Turtle: Nothing, Chad! Nothing!

Daisy: I don't think that's something I could explain to you while I'm on duty, Chad.

Turtle: Wait, what's that supposed to mean?

Daisy: Nothing, Turtle. Keep going.

Turtle: ...ohhhkay. Um, so, Rikku let Hannibal know that she had plenty of ammo he could use. Tahiri was totally grossed out by her zombie, but she totally kicked its butt. She-Ra kicked butt, too, but I don't think I know who that is.

Chad: Superhero? Secret identity?

Turtle: Probably. Rikku had to face off with zombie-Reno, which had to be awkward, oh my god. And Zombie-Mister Tennant still managed to criticize Dinah's performance as she fought him. Man, that guy is tough.

Chad: K-mart faced off with zombie-Hurley, which ended in some torching. Then Lee tried to deflect a zombie Toby with talk of fishnet sales.

Daisy: Oh, now that's a bit clever.

Turtle: And disturbing.

Chad: No; Toby trying to seduce Lee is probably more disturbing.

Turtle: OHGOD, you're right.

Daisy: Oh, both of you should have a more open mind.

Turtle: OHGOD, now I'm wondering if Chad could tell the difference between Teddy and a zombie when he goes all green and I CANNOT UNTHINK IT.

Chad: *grunt* Of course I can tell. Parts don't fall of Teddy when he goes green.

Turtle: LALALALALA, can't hear you! Reading more notes! Like Rikku suggesting to Romeo that they find booze. Zombie Toby goes for Romeo's leg, but it's sounding like Romeo's lucky it was only his leg. Dinah went through an arsenal as she fended off zombies, and Éowyn hacked and slashed. Zayne seemed a little surprised to have had success. Jaina and Ben nodded encouragingly, which Jaina probably needed before facing her zombie boyfriend. The glance with Tahiri was probably not as encouraging as the one with Ben, and then she had another zombie to deal with. Marco was ready to go for the jugular and Chad had a very resilient zombie.

Chad: I threw its head.

Turtle: Good for you.

Daisy: Aren't you supposed to hit their heads, not throw them?

Chad: *almost audible shrug* I threw it against a wall.

Daisy: .....well done.

Turtle: Ben didn't want to do any lasting damage to zombie John and ended up getting really grossed out as a result, but had no problem taking out other zombies. Aravis still checks up on him, though. Tony alternated between watching and resting, while Zayne tried to get zombie Jess to leave. Marco and I formulated a plan, and Teddy had those crazy wings out...

Chad: Those wings are awesome.

Daisy: Wait, is this Teddy fellow...?

Chad: My boyfriend.

Daisy: Boyfriend? Pity, that.

Turtle: WHAT?

Daisy: Nothing, nothing.

Turtle: Yeah, right. Ew. He's a student, Detective Constable.

Chad: But I'm almost nineteen.

Daisy: Oh, really?

Turtle: And he has a boyfriend. MOVING ON, PLEASE? Ben took out a ton of zombies, and Viki teleported a bunch of them. Lion-o had way too much fun with his sword, and Sokka gave a very impassioned battlecry. Prince Edward, of course, fought valiantly, and talkatively, and Eric was definitely a zombie. And then there was zombie singing. I kid you not. Which doesn't sound good.

Daisy: Can't be worse than me at karaoke.

Chad: It's true. I remember the last one for music club.

Daisy: You remembered me?

Chad:....kinda hard not to.

Turtle: DON'T START THAT AGAIN. On the roof, Merlin told Gwynn to get back down, and was doing what he could, and Liir tried to fend of zombie Amber with a broom. Gavin helps a zombie go back down to find his lost jaw. He was using hot gun icon totally prepared, and Momoko fended off zombie-Temari. Zombie Lacey has trouble distinguishing Cake froM Brains, and Momoko is flying. Without wings.

Chad: Hey.

Turtle: Hannibal also had to face off with zombie Amber, reluctant to shoot her.

Chad: In the lobby, people could rest. Or get much needed comfort, as Angela provided to Rikku. Jeff just plastered himself to a window...

Turtle: ...which is a safe place for him!

Chad: Right. And Brooke, too. Good job, siblings. Staying safe. Ichigo and Katchoo make plans to go fight and Agnes was ready to supply aid. First aid. She hands Hannibal a bucket to puke into.

Turtle: Ned was there, and Emmett and Mac, too. Then Arthur set the barricade on fire to fend the zombies off. Savannah and Johnny helped, so did Dinah, Rikku, Marco and Triela.

But, of course, there were still more zombies, mostly zombies we knew, which made it even harder. Arthur faced Dōjima, and Savannah had to encounter Mister Nast. Triela was definitely in her element and Dinah fought off a few, too. Ben gawked a little at Tahiri, but did pretty well himself. Marco and Sokka were very intimidating and Tony made the most out of his cricket bat. Then there was K-Mart and Hurley, the burnt rematch, and Dinah..well, she fought a lot. Zayne had another one on his list, and so did Jaina and Emmett.

And, let's face it, you guys all rock.

Then, of course, there was the initiative to take care of the zombies. Detective Constable, you helped with that, would you mind...?

Daisy: Not at all. A big thanks to everyone who volunteered. It's unbelievable and inspiring how everyone came together; really, I was just honoured--

Turtle: Detective Constable? We don't exactly have all night.

Daisy: Right. Sorry, Turtle. Okay. Mina was certainly prepared, as was Constable Fraser and Kowalski and Nathan and I made sure to note our confidence in the whole thing before going our separate ways. Elizabeth had a quick word with Ronon about having told her students to, probably wisely, skip their Friday classes. Annja, Sarah, Deadpool, Sam, Peter, Ghanima, Jen, Anakin, Ronan, Elizabeth and Buffy...all more great volunteers ready to go. Dean was quite a bit more excited about it than his brother Sam.

Daisy: There were four teams. The east team had to deal with their gremlin guide turning into a zombie himself, while the west team...

...well, for the consideration of my fellow teammates, I'll just mention that our gremlin guide wasn't exactly the most trustworthy, was he?

Turtle: What happened?

Daisy: I am not talking about it.

Turtle: Oh, come on!

Daisy: I'm fine with what happened, I'm just thinking about my teammates, and I'm sure they'd appreciate my discretion, Miss Wexler.

Turtle: *siiiigh* Oh, fine.

Daisy: The south team ...oh. They were turned into animals. That's almost as bad as what we got...

*pause*

...no, animals is much better than what we got. Either way, the north team seemed to at least have a fairly straight forward fight with their zombies, but they did get to the shack.

The shack where the zombie leader was and where the gremlin voodoo master performed his elaborate curse-breaking dance with a song that's going to be stuck in my head all week. Nathan and Deadpool and Jen did a very good job of helping with the singing, even as animals, and Kowalski and Fraser got into an unfortunate, um....squabble before coming 'round to their senses. Sarah joined in and Mina and I were fairly helpful, too; a bit of fun, right, Mina? Trying to ousting each other like that, eheh. Um. Elizabeth was a great help, too.

We couldn't have done it without our north team defenders, though, fighting them off as we chanted. Anakin and Ghanima, the former of which offered the latter slight encouragement, and Sam and Dean, too. The brothers that fight together...

...eventually aid in the zombie master's defeat. Mina and Nathan were incredibly relieved and he's a wonderful gentleman by offering her his coat. Cosntable Fraser, Jen, Sam, Elizabeth...All of us, really, were very relieved.

Turtle: And then Principal Winchester made the announcement about the accord made with the gremlins to handle the zombies. The one where, you know, the gremlins can bite whoever they want.

So I'd keep your radios tuned into WTFH every night this week. It's gonna be good.

Daisy: Of course, one could argue that they've earned this right with the counterspell that turned everyone back to normal, with all the proper bits in place. It was the sort of thing people happily noticed all around the island. Spider-Man was very relieve-- Wait, he was mentioned before. Who is Spider-Man?

Turtle: Mysterious hidden superheroes tend to step out of the woodwork during these things, Detective Constable.

Daisy: ...really? Oh, I like that.

Chad: Yeah. Gotta love superheroes. Know I love mine. Hey, Teddy.

Turtle: *groan* Oh, God, gag me with a spoon. Just read some more notes, Chad.

Chad: Okay. Reno got a call from Rikku to check on him as soon as things changed over, but John ran away from really dirty Jaina. *grunt* John...

Turtle: Hannibal still felt a little sick and Hurley gave a very appropriate assessment of the situation with a succinctly put "Dude"...

Chad: Dude.

Turtle: Exactly. Amber did not handle the change very well at all, and who could blame her? Thankfully, Triela was there to help and get her safely back to her room. Gwynn also had a good roommate in Eve, who took care of her.

Chad: And, with his first breath, Jameson curses Spider-Man.

Daisy: Well, any superhero needs a villain, right?

Chad: Usually.

Turtle: Constable Fraser kind of stumbled around a little; he's practically a superhero, you know, and his villains are mooses.

Daisy: Moose.

Turtle: That's right. Mooses.

Daisy: No, I mean-- Nevermind.

Turtle: Sure. Triela checked in with Dōjima to see how she handled turning back to normal, and Alice decided to just take a moment to lie down and recover. Good idea, Alice. Mister Nast did about the same, too. Then Mister Minsc coughed up a hamster...

....ew! And then Temari kept puking up guts.

...double EW.

Chad: I think they're literal guts, too.

Turtle: Ohmigod, stop! I'm gonna be sick!

Chad: If you're going to spew...spew in this.

Daisy: Well, Chad's holding back Turtle's hair, so I'll continue while they're doing that. Francine found herself unfortunately clinging to the side of the building she was trying to scale as a zombie, but Merlin was there to help her, before Katchoo was there to hug her an awful lot. And Mister Max seemed to have a spot of trouble actually getting the glowy light. And there's something in here about end credits, too.


THE AFTERMATH

Turtle: John with the hair curled up in bed, but locked the door and didn't let Jaina in, so she picked his lock.

Daisy: What is it with people in this town and breaking and entering?

Turtle: It's okay; they're dating.

Daisy: That does not make it okay!

Turtle: Well, anyway,

Daisy: Someone had very cleverly put Tyler in a closet while he was a zombie, so, now that this whole mess is over, with Nathan's help, he could finally come out.

...of the closet...

...I mean, a literal closet, not...

...oh, bullocks, one of you kids read.

Chad: Dōjima settled in after everything with cats and a movie. Cats. Always good therapy. So are boyfriends. Romeo stopped by to see her.

Turtle: Savannah was just ready to relax, too, after the whole ordeal, and got boyfriend therapy from Johnny . Annja made a call, and Peyton put her baseball bat away and turned on some music.

Chad: Music is good therapy, too.

Daisy: Gwynn rested, with her roommate Eve to help take care of her. You've all got the right idea; rest right now would be good, body and soul.

Turtle: Warren made some comfort calls, too....I should probably call my dad...and Helen came to see if he was okay. Amber tried some TV therapy, but had Triela there to help, too.

Peter sought refuge in Sam's room, and against with the boyfriendy therapy. I'm a little envious. My boyfriend's more likely to send me to therapy than provide it.

Chad: He's not that ba--

Turtle: You have to say that because he's your brother.

Chad: And it's true.

Turtle: Maybe. More notes. Focus.

Chad: Uhhh....um....in the fourth floor common room, Marco was resting. He and Jen talk about how being a lot of animals suck and morphing and stuff. Hurley gave Jen a hug...I bet he's a pretty good hugger.

Turtle: Heck yeah. Anyway, Jen then catches up with Triela a bit and brings light to the fact that the Caritas zombies are probably not going to have a very good time coming up...

Daisy: Which makes me feel like I should point out that the zombie band has been a very important part of our community for a long time before this, and should not be judged on the unfortunate events as of late.

Turtle: Thank you, Detective Constable, I'm sure they appreciate that. Marco and Warren discuss the cathartic effects of things going boom on a TV instead of in your real life. Hurley hugs Warren too and comforts him over everything being a-okay. Angela and Marco point out the exhausting effects of this sort of thing, and then she gets comforting hugs from Hurley; Hurley also hugged Marco, who offered him a mint, but he probably would have got the hug even without the mind.

Chad: Triela finds out that the mints are for getting the taste of zombie out of your mouth. Uh...

Turtle: Marco was a wolf.

Chad: Uh...

Turtle: He bit zombies. Even though he had claws, too.

Chad: Oh.

Daisy: Well, that's useful.

Turtle: It is. Anyway, Hurley's smart enough to not hug Triela unless she says it's okay. It's not okay. She says she doesn't need comforting, anyway.

Chad: Not even a cat?

Turtle: Not even a cat. Either way, Buffy took a Hurley Hug, and mentions that repression, it does a body good.

Daisy: Err...

Turtle: Detective Constable?

Daisy: Well, I just believe there's actually studies that say that it really isn't, but I only mention it for your health, Buffy.

Turtle: Thanks again, Detective Constable. Marco tells Buffy all about how bad zombies taste. He discusses with Jess the likelihood of everyone pretending or forgetting that this week ever happened, and Buffy tells Jess about how zombies are bad for her wardrobe. And Jess mistook Hurley's offer of a hug for an attempt at strangulation.

Excuse me a moment while I die laughing. Chad, take *snort* over.

Chad: Okay. Momoko and Triela catch up with how the other is doing, and then teased Marco a little about sharing any chocolate she might find. She's also glad that Hurley is okay and offering hugs. It is pretty nice of her.

Turtle: Okay, breathing again. Hurley also hugs K-Mart, and I'll kindly avoid a comment about something as big as a store here. They apologize for throwing things at each other and some fighting on fire. It's all very Hallmark. K-Mart also approves of Marco's Mints, which sounds like an actually pretty catchy product name...

*long pause*

Daisy: Er, we seem to have lost Turtle for a moment here. So...Alice was looking for food, and agreed to share with Marco should she find some. She does get a Hurley Hug as well and...

...Chad, do you think Turtle's all right?

Chad: Yeah. I think she's thinking about copyrighting that one, too.

Daisy: ...oh. Well, I'll just keep on then. Ca--

Turtle: FACE-SPITTER!

Daisy: Pardon?

Turtle: Face-spitter. Because he spits on faces.

Daisy: Er..

Turtle: Trust me. Anyway, what did Face-spitter do?

Daisy: He did not spit on any faces; he just talked with Marco about what happened.

Turtle: BOORING. He should have spit on his face. Anyway, Francine took a long, hot shower in the fifth floor girls' bathroom which is very good, but I think it's a little pervy that squirrels bring this to our attention, especially in the aftermath of an invasion. Alice was there, too, vowing never to leave.

And, at least the squirrels are equal-opportunists, and pervily decided that we all need to know about Tony showering on the second floor, too.

Oh, and Jamie was still a chihuahua. Apparently, that magical golden glowy stuff didn't help with animals. Sorry, Jamie! At least you've got Temari, right? And, well, he does turn back, but that's not as interesting.

Daisy: And Arya was...resting in her hotel room after everything. And...Arya, we fought a good fight. Let's just focus on that part, yeah?

MISCELLANY

Turtle: Now, that's a lot of invasion and recovery stuff, but, intermixed with all of this, Fandom is still Fandom, and some normal things did kind of happen. Mister Flourite opened Cafe Fina, after all, and feeding zombified Warren scraps of meat...

Daisy: And this is normal...

Turtle: No, it's just Fandom. Like Mister Sparrow, plotting with the squirrels to create a zombie squirrel army...

...


...I'm glad we got non-zombies squirrels. Anyway, Warren did come back around, so that's good. He's very appreciative that Mister Flourite fed him.

Daisy: I'm just glad he had something to feed him with that didn't involve his own body parts, really.

Turtle: I think we can all agree on that. Anyway, Caritas also opened as normal, and Mister Tino owed Mister Jolee on a bet, and Mister Loki got a drink.

Daisy: Actually, I'm fairly sure Mister Loki *snerk* mostly just brooded, all things considered.

Turtle: The hotel wasn't open, but Mary and Gunther were doing a pretty good job at defending it, even though I'll bet randomly yelling at things in German doesn't help that much. What works much better is being surrounded by guns like Mister Biff at Wellspring Arms.

Daisy: Oh, Biff! I'm sorry I didn't stop by today, but, you know....zombies.

Turtle: I think zombies are an acceptable reason.

Daisy: Well, yes, I know, but I always stop by Sundays...

Turtle: Yeah, I know, I have to report on it every Sunday. Are you going to apologize to Mister Reilly, too, even though his shop was closed?

Daisy: Yes. Sorry, Ben. But, you know...

All three: Zombies.

Daisy: Yes. That.

Turtle: Anyway, the Clinic, obviously, was pretty busy all day, but especially the evening. Ronan's glad to see that Doctor Jones of the Female Variety is there and working hard, as we all are. Merlin brought in Arthur, and Tony brought in Dinah. Ben brought in Tahiri, against her objections, and Romeo had a Rikku.

Chad: That's actually a pretty small number of injured people...

Turtle: Yeah, no kidding. Man, it's nice to see that, especially if you consider...

Chad: Yeah. They're all really strong, too. So recover quick, guys.

Turtle: Even if you might not really hear this if you're still in there, but if not, good job!

Either way, we're done with the notes, so now we can recover from reading them.

Daisy: Oh, they weren't so bad.

Turtle: I'll admit, you guys were a big help.

Chad: We're not done yet...

Turtle: We're not?

Chad: No, remember? We still have to make sure you get home safe.

Turtle: BUT THE ZOMBIES ARE GO--

OH, NEVERMIND. Let's get out of here.

Good night,and have a prosperous tomorrow.

*click*