Good evening, Fellow Fandomites, Parents, Siblings, and other such guests! You're listening to WTFH Radio, and my name is Turtle Wexler, here to bring you all the news on this very busy Friday, October 24th! If you're a guest and you're listening, welcome to the island! We hope you enjoy your stay; it's good to have you with us, even if it's just for the....weekend.

But, anyway, news! There's a lot of it, but I'm thankfully not drunk this time, so let's just get to it!



SCHOOL

In the office, Ida is singing Voodoo Child. I don't even know that song, but maybe the moose will teach me.

A lot of people held office hours today, so that parents and guests could stop by, including Mister Deadpool, who got a visit from Mister Weasel and Mister Q and Mister Bruce; Marco and his mooooom also stopped by. Ohhhh, that had to be good! Mister Minsc, the latter of which got a visit from his friend, Mister Xan. Miss Atreides' knife throwing was interrupted by Leto and Savannah's grandfather stopped in to chat with her. Mister Biff also lamented about crazy angels to Miss Atreides and her brother. Mister Winchester had office hours, too, with wee little Grace with him. Tyler, meanwhile, got visits from Rikku and her dad, someone asking about Anemone, and Marla. The Doctor actually held his office hours in the park next to that blue box thingy of his, while Doctor Jones (the guy one) was sleeping in his office, and then, surprise! Daddy Jones crashes in. Literally, I wonder? It doesn't say, but that'd be kind of funny.

In actual school news, Chemisty class had to present mid-term experiments, ugh. Tyler made sure that Tony didn't fall asleep, and Ino and Rikku were there to TA.

In Evil Class, we still had to change into our uniforms to watch a freaking movie because Mister Dex is a sadistic jerkface. Hannibal did the TA thing and Blysse apparantly doesn't know how to write, and I wonder how she made it this far without that, but she got to draw for the assignment.

And then Awesome Class went to the Boston Tea Party and had Dick and Peyton as their intrepid TAs.

DORMS

Dor showed Irene around the garden since she helped provide the Xanth trees in it and all.

Reno tried to escape the PW crazy in his room: it didn't quite work, cause he ended up with a phone call. Karal and Altra were relaxing in Evey's room, and he got a visit from the ruler of all Karase. Ooooh, fancy. Savannah hit her head on a window a lot, and Ned showed off his room to Chuck (not Bass), who was happy to see Digby. Penelope went against the flow and went home instead of having home come to her, and Claire hopes she has a nice trip, see you next fall! Jack just wants to apologize. And then Jamie and I helped Jeff with his anti-mother barrier. I sure hope it works.


TOWN

Mister Nast busied himself with paperwork, before Mister Cortez interrupted him. Captain Picard is looking for Worf, finds Mister Q, and Wesley, and then Worf. Those guys would suck at hide and go seek, it sounds like.

HM showed off his house and dog to BA to talk about LA and NBA and TTFN and BFF. Tyler also meets BA, and Miss Garrett and Houston come to visit as well!

Chad recruited his friend Orhime to help him over at Groovy Tunes, and Liir was drawing over at Book Haven. Amber ran in to visit him and tell him about oh my god parents! Meanwhile, Rikku tried to unsuccessfully get rid of hers while at Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center; Mayor Cable was a little surprised to see Rikku's visitor. Well, not surprised, per say, because it's Mayor Cable, but you know what I mean. Mister Tully gave Willy a tour of the lighthouse...wow, I feel dirty all of a sudden...

There was a deal on, quote, 'old people clothes,' thanks to Jenny at Pixie Dust, and I wonder if there's a technical guideline for what that includes. And Jen cleaned up a lot but didn't stick around long at Pizza Planet. Mister Kowlaski was manning the Trooper Station and Miss Rosie was womanning the Gig, where I came around to interview her for my newspaper article. Make sure to read it in the upcoming issue of the Fandom High Times! Ella was all thrilled about her guest at Luke's Diner before Bruce came to see if she was good enough for Dick. Duh, Bruce, of course she is! Tully came in for a hamburger and told Ella about the lighthouse, and then there was major hugging when Mandy comes around. And talk of Dick.

Why are squirrels chittering at that?

Anyway, the Magic Box had an Agnes praying for no bad guests, and Strokes of Genius had a Viki looking for scrapbooking stuff.

Okay, and I do know why the squirrels are chittering about that one, thank you. There was a big well-to-do between Johnny and Mister Cortez during Savannah's shift at Nast Sporting Goods. Ut-oh.

Mary had her sisters over at the Arms Hotel. Awww, I should visit! Benicio and Tony got their room, as did Phyla and a pissy Jacen because someone didn't get the presidential suite. Mister Xan did get the bridal suite, though he wasn't happy about that, either. Roux leered at Mary a lot...bad Roux! And Hoshi showed Captain Archer where she worked. AHEM. *COUGH* Willy got a room and Mister Nast wondered who the kids were.

Mayor Cable was busy at work at the Town Hall where Miss Merryweather was very, very frustrated and also met Robin and her sister; there was talk of potential blackmail photographs.

Ronan was doing his thing at the clinic and got a visit from his sister Dairine. And some thing with lots and lots of eyes looking for something good to read.

Mister Jolee left Tino to man the bar at Caritas tonight which was, of course, busy, busy, busy. Mister Barbosa mistook Raziel for some guy named Will Turner dressed as a woman, but he's really an angel, or something, but that got Mister Barbossa to back of quick. Try rum, next time, Raziel! Raziel also informs Biff about entire stores devoted to pizza. If Raziel thinks that's impressive, he should check out Turtle & Canary!

Mister Loki and Mister Biff chatted about dumb angels over their beers, and Kara ribs Lee on how he's an old man. An old man with very nice arms. Who runs away. Worf was not so pleased to be joined by Mister Picard and Wesley, but when is Worf ever? Willy boggled at the head ridges, which is understandable, really. Cal checked up on him. Worf, I mean. Adam bugs Chuck (Bass) about some stuff, Tully shows off the zombies to Willy, and Annja gets a beer. Lee chatted with Adam about Toby and Kevin draaa-ma llamas while waiting for his refill, and Miss Carter hopes Doctor Jones (the girl one) isn't a parent, because oh, my God, young. Chuck (the Bass one) tooootally tried to get into Katie's pants.

Miss mal Doran got a Long Island Ice Tea, Mister Xan emo'd all over the place, and Cal brought his mom to the bar. Woooow. I hope he was just showing her the zombies. Dectective Day was there, too, and Mister Jolee hung out in the lounge with his guest, Mister Revan. Brooke was moping, and Cal went to see which one she was, and David people-watched. Good time to do it! It's also, aparrently, a good time to be all OMG SQUEEFUL with people, like Lily and Michelle were. Wendy also runs into her boss, called Middleman, which seems very CIA; John was already deep into the booze when Jaine and Kyp come around to meet him.

Parents' Weekend Picnic

Of course, there was a great big picnic of epic proprotions to welcome our guests today. Kyp and Ben discussed ages, and I hope not for legality reasons. Grundy, Irene, and Humfrey showed up in style on a magic carpet and bickered at each other before going to find Dor. Hi, Dor! Wesley and Captain Picard talked all techno-babble and Professor Bruttenhold and Hellboy came on in. Molly and Matt went to look for Doctor Suresh pretty quick, and Annja and Roux also talked about ages. Jaina gave Jacen an earful about being a jeeeeerkface, while Hiashi and Hanadi went to go look for Hinata and Hoshi and Hurley and other H names, I'm sure. Ino hugged the crap out of Mister Inoichi, and Captain Arrrrr-cher was glad to see Hoooooshi! HOSHI! REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU! WINK!

Chouji and Ino got all suddenly emo while talking about barbeque or something, which means maybe Chouji is a vegetarian? Anyway, Serena's hair and Lily talk about how Eric must be having a good time here...I want talking hair! No, I don't. Actually, I wonder if Dor can make hair talk? Anyway, Maria and Dominic went looking for Anemone. Mister Skywalker was confused because Luke was apparently the wrong Luke and there was talk of Jess being crazycakes. Bad Alice was vaguely threatened by a cat and Francine met up with Marie! Benvolio and Romeo were apparently speaking all crazy-like, while Katie gawked over the fact that Constable Fraser is a Real.Live. MOUNTIE! Bacon smell and everything! Brent joined in on the gawking of our fine Canadian constable. Mary apologized to Mister Kowlaski and they arranged a daaaaa~ate.

Molly, Mohinder, and Matt met with massive M-ness, and Angela was totes stoked about some bearded guy named Billy. Willy greeted Billy, which amuses this squirrel, and Claire shocks David with news that it's 2008 and Mister Cullen is a jerkface. Chuck (not Bass) and Ned were all gleeful about bees. Bees? Wow, Ned, you really can get chipper over anything, can't you? Harper and Alex were girls and were all OMG because they're BFFs, and Jacen was all creepy old dude at Ben. There's always at least a few of those at every Parent' Weekend, I swear. Cal's mom thinks he's too skinny. WELL, HE IS. Maybe if he didn't spit on people!

Missouri thinks Dean's dumb for not thinking he's smart enough for college, and I never knew a state could be so mean! The Captain says hi to Amber. Kyp had fun at Jaina's expence, which sounds mean, and John and Jaina were clingy McClingersons, while Ender and Valentine were all Srs Bzness. Wesley asks Naomi if she's seen a Klingon on the loose, and B'lanna's there to see Naomi, too! Raziel was all dim at Loki, which caused Loki to be very Loki at him back, which apparently is an equation for pure magic. Abigal and Hannibal are all cute and slightly flirty, while Joan introduced Hannibal to her brother Kevin and there was talk of cheerleading. Molly got hugs from her mom and little brother, while Gavin and Leto boggled over being dopplegangers. Bruce promised not to threaten Dick's friends. Awwww.

Joan was glad that Kevin as the one visiting her, and Kara and Lee were all snark-tastic, and Annette and Loretta were already sloshed by the time they found Amber. Yikes. Triela got to hear all about Amber's mom's hook hand and met her friend Loretta, too, and then Toby and Adam shared hugs and manly tears...

...manly tears? Really? Oxymoron alert.

Anyway, Mister Cortez was threatening Johnny, which is not a good way to start the weekend. Liz fared better, happy to see Professor Broom, and Zhane and Andros met up. So did the H club of Hinata, Hanabi, and Hiashi. Katie brought Robin Not-a-Frog a care package with Canadian stuff in it, so, like maple leaves and really gross ketchup. Oh, Katie also thought Ben was crazycakes, which means that Katie is weird, because Ben is just adorable. ChucK (of the Bass variety) and his daddy were all rich and stuff at each other, before he caught up with Serena's hair. Serena's hair also said hi to Blair. Adam suggested that Roux loosen Annja up and I can't help wonder if that's dirty. Reven and Kyp met up and Ichigo got lots of hugs from Ino over the fact that his dad was lamesauce. Doctor Tam and Principal Winchester commiserated over River's absense, and Ben established that, yes, Revent is old, but not nearly as old as Mister Jolee. BA pitied the fool HM, and Eric got hugs from Lily. Irene was all huggy with Dor and talking about Fandom being mundane. Um, okay, so I know you're from crazy magic land Xanth and all, but seriously? Dor, I fear Xanth now.

Annette and Loretta tried to embarrass Amber in front of Cal, who spits on people, and Kermit the frog was there to see Robin the frog. Orihime visited with Chad while he played music, and Doctor Tam was shocked to see a young Kaylee. Oh, timelines. Priscilla was here for Triela and Lasaraleen was there for Aravis! Mister Kurosaki beats up his son Ichigo and Reven and Mister Skywalker brooded like brooding things that brood a ot. Ino and Lirr chatted until Trism showed up to try to get into Liir's pants, and Loretta and Annette met Liir, too. I don't think they tried to get into his pants, though. I hope. Luke and Jess debated the level of Jess' crazycakes, while Raziel confronted Biff about atoning. It didn't seem to go over too well. Tahiri was warned about Jacen from Ben, and Marco got huuuuugs from his moooooooooooommy.

Rikku failed to successfully bounce away from Mister Cid, who she's stunned to see there. Uhh, hello, Parents' weekend? Anyway, Nysander teleported in...or something like it...and talked with Seregil about being sick. Eeew.

Nancy and Dave wondered what sort of place they've landed in. WELCOME TO FANDOM, NANCY AND DAVE!

Meg's mom, the PRESIDENT, showed up, which is really awesome. She sent her assistant off to spend quality time with her daughter, awww! Mal and Mister Winchester talk and Grace is introduced to the former of that pair; Inara is friendly and welcomes Mal back.

Constable Fraser exchanged pleasantries with fellow Constable, Maggie, and chatted about the island getting bigger, and Doctor Tam thanked Mister Kowalski for his assistence in finding out how to help finding his kidnapped sister. Uhhh...

...right. Valentine met Ben. Valentine is suuuuuch a pretty name, oh my gooood! Ino is all bubbly at Tony about her dad visiting, and Jeannie tracks down her brother Rodney, and Sokka mistakes her for Rodney's girlfriend. Oh, Sokka. Mister McCoy and Molly both said hey to Harry, and Adam was surprised to find Eve...aren't they dating? Why would he be...oh, nevermind. There was a myserterious blonde and a masked stranger...oooh, intrigue!...and Hellboy draws a lot of attention from Robin the Frog, Dean, and Liz. Well, with a name like that...Loki and wee little Molly have an encountered filled with swearing a running people through with swords. Parents' Weekend, folks, FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY! Hannibal and Angela lose their guests and find each other, which sounds like an ad for a dating service or something, and some creepy old guy stares at Romeo before discussing Dojima with him. Mmm, what's a Parents' Weekend without creepy old guys? John and Dave discuss John's Future, with a Captial F because it was pretty tense, and Mister Mohiner caught up with some guy named Matt. Jane and Miss Bennet are Zomygod, so excited to see each other! Robin and Hellboy chit-chat a bit, which, if Hellboy looks like what I imagine he might, would be an interesting sight. Harry has a little Harry clinging to his leg and calling him Bill. Excuse me a moment while I laugh my butt off at that visual.



I told you there were a lot, but it wasn't as bad as homecoming, yeesh! But I was also drunk then, and I'm not drunk now. That probably makes a difference.

But that is the end of them! Wish me luck on getting back into my room with that barricade up. Good night, and have a prosperous tomorrow! Remember, guys, this is only a weekend, and it'll be over!