*Sloshysloshysloshy*

Reno: That's the ticket, yo! A Tuesday night complete with booze! Variety, even. Got some tequila, some rum, vodka's sittin' over there, here's some whiskey for good measure, and, for the faint of heart, there's some beer or whatever sittin' over there. I stocked up, in case the squirrels didn't, yo.

Jenny: Oh, good, because I only brought a bottle of gin, and I wasn't planning to share. I'd hate for you to go dry.

Reno: Trust me, there won't be noooo danger of that tonight. I plan on drinkin' plenty to make up for last week's dry radio, zoto. We got notes?

Jenny: We do! We have...a lot of notes. You [[CENSOR BEEP]]ers need to do less. Hang out in your rooms and drink. Wait. Then we'd have to report on that. Cease to exist every Tuesday, make our lives easier.

Reno: Eh. Ain't too much, I guess. I mean, someone coulda had a birthday, or we coulda been invaded by, I dunno, animated plush puffins in top hats, or glow in the dark dinosaurs, or ... uh... I dunno. I'm already drunk, yo.

Jenny: God's harbingers of pus, we could have been invaded by those. Those were fun. Not really. *glug glug glug*

Reno: Now you're just makin' me homesick. On with the news!

School! People Existed There!

Reno: Hands-On Art worked on still life this week, which you'd think would mean not much to report on, 'cause everyone was bein' all... still and livin', but apparently not. I dunno this art crap. I draw... stick things. Sometimes I draw boobs on 'em. Everyone was all fascinated by the still stuff, which they drew, while Savannah and Lily did their duties as TA and T. Or whatever. Ethics class had an interactive class on gluttony- oh, oh, I remember that one! They were lookin' around that fat thing's place, right? The one with the colorful dancin' girls wearin', like, nothin'? That was the best part. Students talked to Jabba, and Toby and Ender did the TA thing, and while Penelope learned about the mafia, Toby just wanted to know how the slug dude got all nasty lookin'. My theory is, you are what you eat, yo. I'm booze. Heh. Home Ec was simple enough. They brought ingredients, and shared their ingredients, all in the company of Hoshi the TA, and Lulu, who is not a TA.

Jenny: Hunting 101 talked about curses. [[CENSOR BEEP that continues for over a minute]], did you cover those? How about [[another extended CENSOR BEEP]], those are fun. The students reacted to all the cursing, then had a 'partnered research assignment,' oooh did the teacher tell you to find out the origin of [[CENSOR BEEP]]? That could be fun. Or, you know, boring, because still research. Then the teacher was there, la. In Introductory Superhuman Physics, the teacher talked about how the IOC was mean to him, which I don't think actually has anything to do with physics, also, whiner, then the students talked about whether posthumans should be allowed to compete in sporting events. Who bloody cares? And then the students could talk to the teacher if they wanted to, but I can't imagine they would. Anemone opened the library today, and Rodney came in to tutor Kevin. Good [[CENSOR BEEP]]ing luck. Doctor Jones brought turkey sandwiches and this is news. In office hours news, Ghanima played chess, Worf and Miss Bennet discussed literature, and Edward lost a book. Shame.

Dorms! People Also Existed Here!

Reno: Poor sap probably didn't even get a chance to read it. In the fourth floor common room, Angela found herself a classic rock revival thing on TV. Dor walked in, wonderin' what that racket was, and he and Angela told one another about, like, different worlds and bein' from the past. Yeah. Sounds like classic rock to me, yo. Molly stopped in and was thrilled to see the rock concert, and Dor, who is apparently a master of statin' the obvious, chimed in to proudly tell Molly that it was, in fact, a rock concert. I'm impressed. Tonight at the shootin' range, Rikku taught Lion-o and Momoko how to shoot after a round of introductions. And yes, squirrel, I'm just as afraid of this news as you are. Here, have some booze. We got vaaariety. *hic*

Jenny: It somehow seems wrong for the squirrel to be drinking tequila. Ino's sick, so Liir was playing nurse. Hopefully not with the costume, ew. Wes is leaving Fandom, and Jen stopped by to have UST with--I mean, give him a goodbye present. Marco told him to keep in touch. Buffy got some sort of message that made her yell, and Karal was working with a dove on his head. No clue why. Gavin mocked him before finally telling him he had a dove on his head. He couldn't...tell? I mean, I'd think it would pull. Ella made small talk and attempted to figure out how to tell him. How about, "Hey, blind kid, there's a bird on your head," that work?

Reno: You'd think the guy would'a felt it up there or somethin. Kinda makes you wonder about how he likes to wear his hair.

Town! Existing!

Reno: At the Perk today, there was some guy called Simon, with tea and cake. Ray didn't wanna talk much, but he listened to this Simon guy whine about findin' his sister or somethin'. Anakin was more into helpin' out, tellin' Simon that River had been abducted by Kerrigan, and even offerin' to help get her back. Nicest cranky teacher guy ever, yo. At T&C, Turtle was trainin' the unicorn. How does he hit the buttons on the till? Tyler stopped in for dry ice and awkward conversation, and Marco stopped in to harrass Turtle. As you do. Jan, meanwhile, was lookin' forward to helpin' out with the business. And you know, I think just havin' a unicorn there is gonna be a good enough gimmick to draw in the crowds on Tuesdays, yo. That Turtle. Some kinda marketing genius or somethin'. At Wellspring Arms, Temari lost her Atlas. I think Cable stoppin' by to ask her to keep the place clean might help with that problem.

Jenny: At Book Haven, Hinata lost her script. She's at a bookshop, I'm sure she can find another. Dale was unhappy, as someone at the police station had lost the coffee filters. Good God, it's a bleeding epidemic. Ray stopped by, met Dale, and decided he was bat[[CENSOR BEEP]]. Charlotte also came by to make plans for a date. Murdock arrived for his defense lesson at the gym limping, which is generally a good time to call it off, and indeed they did, deciding to get ice cream instead. Fraser was at that new apartment building in case anyone needed a new flat, and indeed Ray and Professor Garrett stopped by looking for places to live. In other news, it's rehearsal day at the Boards. Bet you didn't see that one coming! Well, maybe if this is your first Tuesday in town.

Reno: The shock might kill me. I'm gonna have to drink some more. As a buffer. From the shock. *Chug!* Okay. 'M good. G'Karrrrrr worked with Geoffrey, who worried that the play was too... fluffy? Seriously? This, after the last show they put on? If it's fluffy, it balances out, right? Cal rehearsed on crutches, which I'm gonna take as a sign that I should never tick off Turtle, Hinata needed help gettin' comfortable with her role, Jack was lazy, and Amber rehearsed. As you do, or whatever. People hung out offstage doin' offstage stuff. And then Amber told Cal that he deserved the shin-kicking. No. Really. Remind me to never, ever piss off Wexler. Ever. Oh, and Tony the stage manager and Geoffrey the... not stage manager? They talked. And stuff.

Jenny: Teyla was at Groovy Tunes, rocking the weirdo music, when Hurley came in to ask her about what's hot in the music world. I'm afraid he may have picked the wrong girl, isn't she from another star system or something? Jack took photos of himself at Photo Hut, and Jess went to Jeff, God of Biscuits, where Peyton mistook him for Peter, and then a demon. Clearly not Jess's day. Also, actual Peter showed up, but Jess wasn't thrilled about that, either. Mary lost her clipboard at the hotel, but did find a Simon, which I don't think is a suitable substitute for a clipboard. Miss Eliza Doolittle opened her new, misspelled flower shop, where Lola came in looking for a job. At Cafe Fina, Lion-O made the special, which he was very proud of. Watch out for cat hairs in the food, people.

Reno: Adding to the long list of things I never thought I was gonna say but have since I came to Fandom, a coyote flew into the park. Gaspode the dog asked it for food, and it asked Gaspode for cigarettes, and I swear, this ain't the whiskey and the tequila and the two beers and the rum talkin'. It ain't. Coyote I guess is the name of the guy? 'Cause the notes say that he showed off to the unicorn by turnin' into a coyote. Okay. Maybe this is the booze talkin'. Uh. *sound of a bottle thumping against the floor* 'M done. At the new pet shop, Dick bought a dead bird. Apparently he got a refund? I wonder if that's the one that was on Karal's head, earlier. At the best bar in the multiverse, Marshall was buildin' a shot glass pyramid, yo! At the clinic, Harley was playin' computer solitaire, and then she sorted files. Back at T&C, Sokka gave Turtle a cupcake in exchange for her assault on-- probably Cal? And somewhere else entirely, Tyler helped Tony move into his apartment. And they were talkin' about things that go boom. But not the same kinda boom I'm gonna make after another few drinks when I hit the floor, I don't think.

Jenny: Maybe you should...like, lay off. Just long enough to get back to your dorm room.

Reno: I can make it back to my dorm room! Unless I... lose it. Or somethin'. Kinda seems to be the trend, today. We, uh, ain't in that triangle place again, are we?

Jenny: Not...that I know of, no. I think we're still in Maryland. Virginia? Maryland.

Reno: Earth?

Jenny: That sounds good. Let's go with that.

Reno: Drinkin' to earth! *chug!* Still gotta few bottles of somethin' or other to goooo.

Jenny: Well. Wouldn't want 'em going to waste, would we? *glug glug glug* Ah. For Booze n' News, folks, I'm Jenny. He's Reno.

Reno: Night, Fandom! We gotta long night of boozin' to go, now that we're done the... uh.. newsin'? Reno, out and *hic*.

*dead air*