Hello and good evening, Fandom! This is Lieutenant Archie Kennedy at the helm this Tuesday night on Royal Navy Radio, and if there's ever an uneventful day in this town I don't know wh -- *sounds of rather voluminous, liquid splattering* Twice in one day. Lovely. As I was saying, if there's ever an uneventful day in this town I have no idea what I'll do. Right then.

Schooling

In case you hadn't fallen victim to or witnessed it, the Dean announced that random slime attacks have befallen the campus. You don't say.

We watched cartoons in Advanced Criminal Justice this morning, though there were no Smurfs, sadly. Rory taught the class today. Hello, Rory! Arthurian Traditions had a film day as well, History of Art also watched a documentary, and Studio Art discussed appropriation. Art was never my strong point so I don't know how appropriate that was. In Foreign Literature and Classics, the former read stories from The Thousand and One Nights, while Classics worked on their translations of Ovid.

Speech convened as per usual, and while the 301 students talked about communicating with animals -- which happens a bloody lot around here -- the 201 students worked on their final speeches. Business classes also worked on their final projects. Good God, please don't tell me the end of the semester is creeping up on us already! Apparently it is, as Advanced Journalism was also working on final projects. John Crichton the Menagerie Man let us down this week, folks. If he was turned into an animal, I don't know ab -- *splatter* Damn it!

Speaking of this damned slime, Chloe was slimed in Professor Skeeter's class, and Professor Lyman also fell victim during Political Campaigning. My sources report that in a similar phenomenon, the heavens, or at least the ceiling tiles, opened up and doused Angel with water.

Well, the heavens are certainly going to open up and do something now that John Crichton has retained his form throughout an entire Journalism class. Something far less innocuous than slime, I imagine.

Oh yes, there were other classes today! Introduction to Archaeology discussed Egyptian scripts, Creative Writing learned about Belloc and Holmes, History of Medieval England continued talking about the War of the Roses and a lot of people with the same names, and Western Civilisation discussed the Renaissance.

The library was a bit less festive than usual today; Angela greeted Mister Wagner the librarian, Cameron was acting bizarrely, Parker and Zero had coffee which I can only assume they did not spill on the books, being responsible library aides, and Parker and Angela discussed the past weekend's happenings.

Happenings in the Wardroom and the Chain of Command

The school clinic was empty today; the students all remain in one piece. Except perhaps those of you who normally come in multiple pieces. That's different. At the town clinic, Allie and Lilly were still there during Doctor Troy's day shift, and continued to maintain the status quo during Doctor Lambert's evening shift. Look here, ladies, there's a virtue in consistency, but could we perhaps gravitate towards one of a healthier nature?

I'm only teasing. Get better soon, both of you.

Hair and hobbies -- is hair a hobby? No, don't tell me -- were Pippi and Ivanova's topics of conversation in the mess hall today.

The Weird Hometown Club meeting was cancelled; Professor Cregg held office hours and was visited by Mister Wagner as well as Sam Carter.

In the Crew Berths

Cameron has been acting very, very strangely today. He was studying in the den of iniquity this afternoon, apparently in that superhero uniform of his. Does that help you study more, Cameron? Is it smurfy? Remember what happened to the poor mushrooms in our class project. While there, he was warned off of marking up the library books by Lana, on pain of death by Parker and Zero. Isabel brought him lunch and asked about the cake he promised her; perhaps he only had two bits and didn't expect such a rush? And John Crichton had some words to say about the tightness of Cameron's outfit, and the things it revealed.

Video games are something I'm terrible at, apparently, but Victor and Walter were playing them and discussing birthdays today, and Draco was also playing them.

Nadia was dreaming again, which is not particularly newsworthy as we all do that but my notes mentioned it anyhow, and Callisto didn't sleep. She would have had a long talk with Angel after waking up, but as she was already awake there was no after about it, really. Speaking of long talks, as well as people acting strangely, John and Aeryn woke up this morning and talked about plans for the evening with Isabel.

Molly and Blair were adorable in the computer lab; Walter and Nadia had a talk about things on Walter's mind. I don't know wh -- *splatter* *sigh* Never mind. Well, Pippi and Pip fell victim to the slime too, at least. Kiki talked to her cat and sent email, then later visited with Lana. There was singing and hair-doing courtesy of Pippi, reading by Ivanova, and pouting by Alphonse, while D'anna returned. Which implies that she'd been somewhere, of course. I don't know wh -- *splatter*

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

On a much happier, and hopefully much less slimy, note, Bel is back. And. Er. *embarrassed pause and a cough* Anders, who also got slimed, had to cheer Cally up after I . . . well, in the interest of living through the end of this broadcast I'll elaborate later.

On Shore Leave

The Baron had lunch at Cafe Fina, Camulus and Orlin were smurfy, and Agatha was reading at Sparky Repairs.

Aereopagitica was busy today, with a dingbot stopping by for Mister Giles, Orlin looking for books on philosophy, and Parker coming to thank Mister Giles for something.

At the trooper station Veronica and Phoebe stopped by today.

And finally, there was Caritas. Logan was there, talking to Veronica about the evidence she's been collecting about the attack on Allie. Angela and Nadia were there, having an early birthday drink, speculating about Pippi's hair, and making arrangements to visit the spa. They also sang a song about the poignant, yet pointless, crisis of a co-ed. Cally was there too, talking to Veronica about her weekend. And it was Tuesday, so of course I was there as well. *sigh* Yes, all right, so my notes aren't exaggerating. Yes, I was a complete ass to Cally. But then I had a talk with Veronica before walking her home. I was not a complete ass to her. I hope. I don't know.

*long, nervous pause*

*SPLATTER*

You'd think I'd have smurfing learned by now. Anyhow, folks, that is all the Fandom news for the day. So this is Archie Kennedy striking colors and signing off, wishing you all a fair wind and clear skies, and a smurfy good night out here on the proverbial water.

*sound of a brief but torrential downpour*

Oh, for the love of G --

*fizzling, crackling pops as the microphone shorts out*