Hey.

*chittering*

Yeah, so I'm a little late. If you have to know, I got stuck in my kitchen, okay? Just -- don't ask for details.

Anyhow, I'm Jack, and this is the news.

Anger Management puts kids in stressful situations to see if closing your eyes and counting to ten helps. Protip, pretty sure it doesn't. Modern American History talks prohibition and whether it's okay to disobey stupid laws. My Teamwork class plays paintball in the woods, and Doom has a hate-on for the Fantastic Four in Science blah blah blah. They build a hull to show they're better at science than Reed Richards, then Cecil asks Doom how a douche like Reed got a spaceshipto start with.

Roller Derby meets for introductions and skating, which apparently no one is very good at yet.

Back at school, Riley is doing some internet research. Meanwhile, up in the dorms, Theo takes a picture of himself to document the paint in his hair. And Jessica gives a gremlin a timeout while she watches TV in a common room. Raleigh is surprised the show is still on.

In "people did their jobs" news: Scott is at Furnado with cat treats, Gert is at Luke's where the steaks are still mooing, Cade is covered in paint at Stark Industries, Jono posts a sign announcing auditions at the Boards, and Hanna tries for an Emmy-themed display at Demon Marcus. We also have a new guy named Roland. Everybody, say hi, Roland.

*pause*

Anyhow, he meets Dean, who's weirded out by Roland's self-playing guitar, and Riley, who tells Roland the castle is in fact a school.

Over at the bars, Tino is pouting at Kenzi at Devil's Nest and Jack Priest growls at a telemarketer and tells Eponine about it at Devil's Nest.

And that's it. Excuse me, I have a door to beat up on.