Hello and good evening, Fandom! This is no-longer-Lieutenant Archie Kennedy here with you, sailing the airwaves as a bit of a freelancer on a hot and muggy night. It's been a while since I've been at the helm. Hopefully it is, as they say, not unlike riding a bicycle.

Workshopping

Writing learned about the fine art of writing gossip. Given one of the students in that class, I'm sure at least half the results were unintelligible. Being unintelligible seemed to be the order of the day in Scoobying, where students signed in in Pig Latin and conversed in Gibberish. I never learned these languages in school! Bridge and Willow stopped by to talk to Xander, as they do, but apparently did so in English. I'm sure Xander was relieved.

The class ironically named How to Win Friends and so on and so forth paired up to taunt each other. Hopefully no one was wounded too badly. Not that First Aid would have helped them much, as when they weren't chit-chatting they were learning to treat insect bites. Not bruised egos, or arrow wounds, though no one was injured in Archery despite the shooting of things. Peter Parker is lucky to have escaped with his life, though, after criticizing Miho -- much to Gwynn's horror.

In the library, Aeryn and Rory -- hello, Rory! I remembered this time! -- talked about Massachusetts, the future, and geography, which is quite the combination of subjects. Perhaps it was the geography of Massachusetts in the future? I don't know. Jack, who seems to be her fake fiancé, brought her presents, as fake fiancés do, I suppose. Broots came in to talk about the greasy weekend . . . what?

Sickbay, the Wardroom, and the Chain of Command

Sakurazaki had lunch in the cafeteria today. She's very regular about that. At least some of us are eating properly.

Principal Washburn passed the word for Sam Winchester, he who is known to our esteemed radio sources as Cute Sam. Both he and Dean reported to her office.

It was quiet in the clinic today for Doctor Troy and his magazines, though reportedly Doctor Lambert was battling a sandwich. *pause* Around here, I believe it.

In the Crew Berths

The gym was bustling this morning. Bel attempted to kill the punching bag, and again, in this town I'd believe it if someone told me the bag attacked him first. Marty didn't make him sing, which might or might not be a favor to all of us, though he did sing show tunes at Callisto, which certainly didn't do him any favors. Neither did finding out from Nadia that the gremlins have it in for him, I imagine. Bel told Callisto, after flailing at her, that he has two inches on Angel. How exactly do you know this so exactly, Bel?

Nadia told Pippi about beating the stuffing out of Joxer -- as if that's difficult -- which may or may not have been connected to her relationship with Walter, and discussed staffs with Conner, who was contemplating a life of piracy with Pippi, because it was better than being bored.

Pippi! Can I join your crew? I'm no longer restricted from doing so! I think "Privateer Kennedy" has a ring to it.

The Winchester brothers sparred as well; it seems the outcome of Dean's visit to Principal Washburn's office was that he got detention for trying to get Sam out of detention. Honestly, I've seen men have more chance of success trying to talk their way out of being pressganged.

Even more physical activity, as Peter and Willow engaged in swordplay down at the salle. Cameron was at the gym later in the afternoon, and noticed Sakurazaki's wings. He also sparred with Veronica, which luckily resulted in no injuries for either of them. Sparring being the order of the day, Walter got into it with both Nadia and Joxer.

Dean and Dawn were doing photography on the roof. Smurfy photography, no doubt. Kawalsky had pizza in the third floor common room, where he told Marie about being John Travolta. Marie and Cally talked about boys and dating, and Conner was on edge around Marie. Alec met Kawalsky and told Cally about how Sam Winchester punched him in the face, then regaled Sam Carter with tales of getting Anakin to strip. Z was there, and caught up with Cally, who promised not to spread cooties and wanted to make sure Conner isn't a eunuch. Oh good God. I didn't need to think about that. I've only met him the one time, but ugh. Cameron caught up with Marie, told Kawalsky about getting drunk with Jack, received lessons in how to scarf down a pizza from the lovely Sam Carter, and opined to Alec that the party ought to be on the second floor.

For the fact that it was not, we first-floor residents thank you.

If I'm ever out on the ocean and spy an island of pizza, I think I might have to steer clear of it. It seems to have a siren's song of its own. Alanna and Faithful responded to it, as did Bridge, who renamed Cally, Sam Carter, Conner, Callisto, Xander Harris, and Angela. I wonder, if you sail toward the Island of Pizza if lured by its siren's song, what are the rocks onto which you would sail to your ruin? The stack of empty boxes?

Marty and Angela were adorable this morning despite Min's loud protests, and also being adorable were Greg, Isabel, Willow, and Peter who had a double date, and Jack and Cedric, Joxer and Kaylee. John and Aeryn talked about the future, and Demyx stopped by to see Anders. Pippi and River talked about River's breakup with Tyler, which . . . does not fit in so well with much of the previous news. Condolences, the two of you.

Wait.

*rustles papers*

Phoebe is a mermaid? That's what Lana told Piper, and Piper relayed the message to Bel, who had to go see for himself.

I . . . I'm sorry. There is no shortage of songs that I know about mermaids, and all of them are in my head right now. I wonder if I can get any of them as ringtones? Not that I don't like the one I have now, because -- "That's how you GET TO LLAMA SCHOOL!"

You know, on the bright side, better a mermaid than a llama. Llamas spit.

So I've heard. Finally, Sakurazaki and Ranma were in the fourth floor common room late tonight.

On Shore Leave

Sakurazaki was joined by Ranma on a jog through town, and Jamie and Willow discussed something called the Friend Zone at Empire Records, where Cally stopped in, in search of a job. Sister Rosette gave up on working in the church graveyard today, and no wonder. It was damned hot out there! The air conditioning was out at All and Sundries, as it was at the Fourth Sin, where Becky pleaded with Jarod to fix it. A mysterious present and the ice bucket may have cheered Becky and Miho's day a bit, though. Sam Winchester, on the other hand, tried to return his Fourth Sin gift certificate and probably had a bad time of it. No word on whether GOB had a bad time of it, though, after telling Becky he'd seen the tape from Caritas last night.

Sparky Repairs was open, and John Connor wasn't feeling well, but at work anyhow. Commendable! Molly and Kawalsky were at the Perk this afternoon as well. Coffee in the heat? At least Jane's horse was well taken care of.

Jane herself had lunch at Cafe Fina and talked to Walter about her arrival in Fandom, and Walter apologized to Seras for Saturday. I hope you've apologized to Veronica as well, Walter! Later, Jane opened Caritas for the first time, and it's strange to go in on Tuesdays and not see Veronica behind the bar, so Veronica and I went there anyway, as did John Connor and Ranma. Jane learned about singing for tips from GOB, and I made her acquaintance as well. It's always a pleasure to meet someone else who comes from a century or more ago.

Speaking of a century or more, it feels like it's been that long since I've slept. And since that's all the news I have for you tonight, Fandom, I'm striking colors. Until next week, this is Privateer Archie Kennedy, wishing you a fair wind and clear skies, and a very good night indeed.