Zoe: Good evening, Fandom, and I suppose a special hello should go to all of the alumni who are here tonight. It's good to see all of you again...

Sam: Hey, stop with the poking! I'm coming with you, really.

Zoe: ...though, it's better to see some of you than others, I'll admit.

Sam: Uh, Zoe? Did you tell the rodents to kidnap me?

Zoe: I might have suggested that I could use a partner tonight. You wouldn't want me to have to read this big stack of notes all by myself, would you?

Sam: "No" is really the only acceptable answer to that question, isn't it?

Zoe: Absolutely. Have a seat and let's see what we've got.


School News

Zoe: Here, talking about classes was always your favorite part of the radio broadcast, wasn't it?

Sam: Yeah, I guess I can't really deny that, huh? Okay, let's see. Mr. Rogers canceled Battles That Changed History due to Homecoming. The What It Takes To Be a Badass class covered the badassery of being a good dancer, and then the students paired off and danced with each other so their skills could be judged by their partners. After class, Cloud checked with Loki to find out if everyone has to go to Homecoming, and Loki reassured him that he doesn't have to go if he doesn't want to. Everyone should go though. It's fun, even if you don't have a date. Just, uh, don't drink the punch late in the evening.

The Demolitions and Dynamite class got to make bombs today in the Danger Shop - after getting their instructions from Kukaku, they made twenty bombs of their own, and then tried to blow up everyone else's arsenal. And in The Science of Deduction, the students had to examine a dead body - which turned out to be their teacher - and try to figure out how he'd been killed. I'm going to assume that one was in the Danger Shop too.

Zoe: I'd assume the same, but potentially immortal teachers shouldn't be a surprise to you either. You haven't been gone that long.

Sam: Good point. The Dealing With Loss club - huh, that sounds interesting - talked about why people were there this week. Karla talked about losing her parents, William talked about losing his mother, Lion-o talked about losing his whole planet, along with his dad, Elphaba talked about her mother, and Cloud talked about remorse.

The Apathy Club also met today, in spite of the fact that everyone's assignment was to not show up. The fact that there was food might have helped, for the record. Rosalind had apple slices, which George was looking at longingly. Squall was dripping water because he'd been in the dunk tank, and there's something I don't actually miss this year, let me tell you. Jono was dripping wet too and when George asked why they'd all shown up, Squall explained that it was an excuse to get away from the dunk tank. Professor Farnsworth was there to supervise and wonder why the club hadn't died yet, and then they finished with the Whatever train. Seriously?

Zoe: Seriously.

Sam: Man, I really miss this place.


Town News

Zoe: I'm going to assume this small stack is about non-carnival things. Arthur and Merlin were in the preserve this morning, discussing how little Fandom has changed in the time they've been gone. Hopefully, this was a reassuring thing to them. I think it's rather nice, to be honest. Mat was hanging out in his hotel room all afternoon, and Cally was reading to Nicky out on their porch.

Arya made sure everything looked good at Coyote Medicine for the alumni, Marcus had the junkyard ready for any spaceships that needed to be parked, Ben was adjusting to the brightness of the sign at Fixer-Uppers, Jenny had options for last-minute Homecoming outfits at Pixie Dust, and Mary was glad to find the potted herbs gone from the counter at The Arms Hotel, and got a visit from River, who checked in to see how she was doing.

Sam: Zoe? Are you okay? You looked a little spacey and pale there for a second.

Zoe: Hmm? I'm fine, of course. Just being nostalgic for a moment, don't mind me. Jessica was repeating a mantra to herself at Caritas, much to the concern of Tino. Leda came in for a drink, as did Mat, although it looked like he'd already had his fair share of alcohol. Romeo wanted to make sure Jessica wouldn't laugh at him for wanting an appletini, and Reno snuck up behind Romeo to assure him that he'd make fun of him if Jessica didn't. Old friends are always so nice to each other, aren't they?

Sam: The best ones are, definitely.


HOMECOMING CARNIVAL

Sam: So, the carnival was today, for those of you who might have been lounging under a rock this afternoon. There was food, of course, and from the size of this stack of notes, plenty of people eating. Karla bumped into Jack while transporting plates of food, and they talked about how things are going with Warren, and how terrible it was for Karla to be a boy for two solid days. Let me tell you, being a girl away from Fandom? Not so much fun either. Bobby McCallister met Jack Priest, and was amused by how Jack has the same name as his brother, and Dojima was enjoying the funnel cake when Triela found her for some catching up time.

Xander had a ton of food on his plate, possibly because Bridge was inclined to keep stealing food from him. Bridge also got a tacklehug from Momoko while Billy, Isabel, Parker, andZ said hello to Xander. Jaime tried to steal Kate's cotton candy, and she reminded him that she's famous on the internet, so he shouldn't try that. Famous on the internet? *sounds of paper shuffling Oh my God, that's why Princess Valhalla looked familiar!

Zoe: Am I allowed to call you a geek right now?

Sam: No, you need to let me show you awesome things on the internet more often. Blackagar and Medusalith wondered why the cotton candy looked familiar, Aravis was enjoying all the junk food she could get her hands on when Ben found her and stole a hug, and Parker was limiting herself to soda when she met up with Triela.

The tables that were set up had goldfish on them, which I thought was a cute touch. I'm glad to see the Student Council still being creative and awesome in my absence. Zayne and Jaina got caught up with each other, mostly about how Zayne is a wanted fugitive who's been framed for murders. Uh, maybe you should get some help with that while you're here? Jaina and Luke talked about what's been happening for him at home, and how close it is to the things she knows about, and Kate and Hannibal talked about her birthday and the whole Valhalla Hawkwind thing, which really is amazing, in case I didn't mention that already.

Zoe: Okay, that's enough out of you right now. Karla was pleasantly surprised to find Hinata picking at the snacks, and encouraged her to try even more things, Hoshi talked to Hinata about how she had to try to convince people that she was her brother when she was stuck as a boy for two days, and Jaime tried to get Hinata to eat too. I suppose it's nice they're looking out for her?

Rosalind and Triela discussed adjusting to the island, and Rosalind and Bobby wondered where the goldfish came from. From the pet store, I hope. Romeo got to deal with Dojima's sugar high, and talked to Ino about how she's now planning on being a pop star. Phoebe talked to Bel about how excited he was over Anakin being at the dunk tanks, to Raven about empath-y things, and to Anders, who was excited to be back, and contemplating co-teaching a class with Bel. Oh, I fully encourage that, if only so I can witness the look on Anakin's face.

Sam: You know, you're kind of evil sometimes.

Zoe: Oh, stop sounding like you're surprised. Raven was people-watching when she was approached by the human giant sitting next to me, who was very glad to see her. Billy got caught up with Liz and Naomi, and Bobby and Jaime made a dual attack on the food table, and returned with more than enough for them both.

Ben and Tahiri used the carnival as a makeout locale, apparently. Dinah ran into Karla, who told her about her adventures in kissing Warren while they were both the wrong gender, Hinata, who got to hear all about Dinah's college adventures, Priestly, who got caught up with Dinah about everything they could think of, and Jaime, who talked to Dinah about possibly saving her a dance at the...er, dance. Here, it's your turn again.

Sam: Oh, fine. River was people-watching in the crowd, and Karla stopped to talk to her, because she recognized River from another version of Fandom. The bad one we try not to think about, I assume? Tim Desmond got caught up with River about how he's running the comic store now, and Triela said hi to River too. Hoshi talked to Robin about how he got into college early, and how she's worried about her own college experience.

Piper and Lindsey were apparently "adorable" while they made plans to hit the bumper cars, and John was hanging out by the ferris wheel. Hannibal went through the Tunnel of Love, hopefully not by himself, or that sends kind of an awkward statement. Rilla and William were attempting to work the bumper cars when he asked her to the dance. Awwww. Jack checked out the House of Mirrors, and checked himself out while he was at it, of course. Kurt tried out the Tilt-a-Whirl, the Afterburner, the reverse bungee, and the zipper, and Goose tried out the Whack-a-Gremlin, which, sadly, does not use real gremlins. Momoko was trying out the strength test when Jaime stole some of her cotton candy, and refused to buy her more food unless he could get her something healthy. Dude, carnivals are so not about healthy. And Scully had an awesome time with the target practice.

Of course, it wouldn't be the Homecoming Carnival without all of the booths. First, there were the kissing booths. Ariel was excited to be at her booth, so I'm assuming she volunteered for the job. Christian finally got the kiss that they never got to share over the summer, and Puck got a kiss without anything disasterous happening. Bruce was kind of relaxed at his booth, and got a kiss from Quinn, along with some flirting and the promise to save him a dance or two tomorrow. Cara didn't look happy to be where she was, but luckily, it doesn't look like she had to kiss anyone: Percy talked to Cara about his date with Luke at the salle the other day, Bobby brought Cara an elephant ear to share, and Clark used the money for a kiss to buy Cara as a date to the dance instead. I'm not sure that's how it works, but if that's how you guys want it to work, more power to you.

Cassidy seemed a little confused about how she'd ended up in a kissing booth, and Karla teased her that she was going to write a letter home to Cassidy's mother. Chloe was sort of resigned to her fate, and Ino let Chloe know that if she wasn't having fun at the booth, all she had to do was find Ino, and she'd take care of things. Chuck seemed a little embarrassed about being at his booth; he and Karla talked about why boys don't like to be called adorable, but then he got a kiss from Ariel too. Cloud was Not Happy about having been signed up for a kissing booth, but Karla assured him that she survived it last year, so he could survive it this year.

Ellie didn't mind being at her booth, and got a visit from Puck who wished her a belated happy birthday. Emma, unsurprisingly, was quite happy to be at her booth. Jack gave her a kiss, and a promise to save her a dance tomorrow, Karla accused Emma of being the one to sign her up last year, which Emma denied, and Effy and Emma agreed that kissing booths were the best place for cheerleaders, before sharing a kiss as well.

Zoe: I thought the male cheerleaders worked better in the dunk tanks.

Sam: Okay, I'm going to have dunk tank nightmares tonight from all of the memories, and it's going to be all your fault. George put up a biohazard sign to try to keep people away from her booth, but, of course, she only succeeded in drawing a whole bunch of people in. Percy wanted to know why she'd signed up if she didn't want to kiss people, and after commiserating with her about ending up in a booth they didn't sign up for, he bought a kiss from her. Puck argued that he's already made out with George and knows she's good at it, and since he had money on him, he bought a kiss from her too. Nico said George's sign reminded him of home, and that he doesn't get a lot of kisses because he has a weird aura, but whatever the aura is, George didn't notice it. Jack assumed George lost a bet, and she explained that she'd rather sit and bitch than try to leave and get in trouble, and she tried to scare Bruce away by telling him she has the hanta virus, but he knew she was lying because he knows what the symptoms of that look like. Oh, well done, Bruce.

Jason was looking relaxed in his booth, until he realized that anyone can come over to the booths, including guys like Luke. Jason was apparently a good sport though, and went with the kiss even though he doesn't usually kiss guys. Karla told Jason about her experience at the kissing booth last year before buying a kiss from him, and Bobby McCallister asked if the booth really meant girls come up to you and kiss you. It's not called a kissing booth for nothing, honestly. Leda seemed surprised that she'd signed up, and she and Karla talked about how well kissing booths wouldn't go over where she's from. Leia was totally ready to get her kissing on, and Christian got two kisses for the price of one.

Luke was looking smug at his booth. Karla complained about being left out of the apparent sophomore kissing booth conspiracy, and after she got her kiss from Luke, she promised to give him a healing if he ever needed it. Nico complained to Luke about not getting involved with the kissing booths either, and got a free kiss from him, and Percy not only got a free kiss, but it was also, according to the squirrels, "epic." Awww, I think I actually missed the glitter flags a little.

Puck was super happy to be at a kissing booth. Effy let him kiss her cheek, and Quinn claimed that she had to kiss Puck for research, and that it didn't really count since it was for school, although it turned out to be kind of intense for a school thing. Roy came prepared with mints and lip balm, which I'm sure Karla appreciated - she agreed to kiss him, and they talked about the difference between kissing-booth-kissing, and true kissing. Dinah also stopped by Roy's booth, and they talked about how weird Karla is, which turned into how weird Fandom is in general. Finally, Tim Drake had a booth, and got a kiss from Karla, along with a good luck wish for his Homecoming Prince nomination, and when Momoko came by, he said he was having a deal on redheads-whose-names-start-with-M getting a Homecoming date for free. Okay, that sounds like it was pretty smooth too. Well done.

Oh God, here, you have to do these notes now.

Zoe: What? The--oh, the dunk tanks were full this year too, sadly with people who aren't my oversized stepson. First in the tanks was Anakin, who was easily dunked by Cara, River, and Max. Xander tried to dunk Anakin, but his depth perception is a bit off now, and that worked in Anakin's favor. Jaina dunked Anakin twice, because she's family and is therefore safe, John Sheppard got Anakin once, with much delight, and Zayne got a shot in as well after asking to speak with Anakin tomorrow. Bel was rather happy to see Anakin in the tank, and Anakin accused Bel of having a crush on him. Still? After all these years? That's dedication.

Annja was in a dunk tank, and got taunted by Hoshi. Claudia was in a tank, and so was Ino, who got teased by Hannibal before he dunked her. Romeo insisted that he didn't have a choice but to dunk her once he saw her, and although she tried to convince Billy that she was a figment of his imagination, he dunked her anyway. Triela called dunking Ino a training expense, and Zack teased her about how he'd hoped she'd signed up for a kissing booth instead.

Jacob was in a tank, which Rosalind found very amusing before she dunked him. Bod and Jacob compared how many times they were dunked, and Ariel took a shot at Jacob as well. Jono was looking surly in his tank, which Rosalind said suited him when she dunked him. I don't know if Jono was that upset about his spot though, because Ariel needed some coaching to successfully hit him, and he provided it.

Bod looked a little worried about being in the tank, but luckily, he only got dunked by Ino. Angua didn't look happy to be in her tank, and neither was Squall who got dunked by Ino, and he hit her with a water spell in return. That's not how the game goes, for the record. Rinoa was a little luckier, and just laughed at where Squall had ended up.

There, the scary dunk tank notes are over. Here, you can finish us off.

Sam: Gladly. The final set of booths were for the pie tossing. Mr. Stinson had a spot, and warned Aly that the carnival was a no-stabbing zone. Deadpool was hoping for chocolate cream pie, and Professor Farnsworth was not happy about being a target. Neither was Percy - his first attacker was Kitty, who missed his face, but got some pie on his pants. Jason and Percy snarked at each other before Jason got Percy with a pie, and when Nico came by to mock Percy as well, Percy explained that he was just trying not to get expelled. Bobby McCallister wanted to know if Percy got to eat the pies before he threw one at him, and Jack McCallister got to hear all about how Percy's thinking about dumping the punch bowl over Jason tomorrow. Just do it at the beginning of the dance, before the punch turns toxic, yeah?

Zoe: Oh, you are so helpful.

Sam: Hey, I don't have to be the voice of reason here anymore. It's kind of freeing. Peter Bishop talked to Hannibal about turning into a dog while we were all the wrong genders, which sounds more than a little scary. Effy managed to hit Peter in the face with half a pie, and Rosalind snarked at Peter before getting him with a pie too. Quinn wasn't very happy about being in a pie-tossing booth, but, as she told Alex Karev, it was better than the other options. Finally, Zoe had her usual spot, and got hit by Ino and Aly.

And...wow, I think that's it.

Zoe: Is it? Well, then I guess you can be un-kidnapped now. Enjoy the dance tomorrow, folks, and remember to be safe!

Sam: And remember what I said about the punch. Good night, everyone!