Don't give me that look, squirrels, I don't have a clue why I'm here either. I got a message telling me that I'd get a freaking prize for coming in to do radio tonight, and I was curious. God. Trust me, I don't want to help out that jackassy Dean Stinson anymore than -

oh hey, the little light's on.

Uh, hi Fandom! This is Rose Hathaway coming to you on a very special Monday night. Well, special because it's me and not your normal jackass. You all are totally grateful, I know.


SCHOOL

Okay, school. One day I'm doing all these notes backwards except that I think the only reason people pay attention to school is that the gossip comes next. So Keeping Your Advantage talked about, um, snow shelters. And then were supposed to build snow shelters while bundled up in the Danger Shop version of the Arctic. I'm guessing that Professor Atreides was laughing her butt off at what she got to make her students do before Kate came up to say hi. The Day After Tomorrow talked about winter too and how to find something to eat when it's freezing. The incredibly creepy students suggested cannibalism which - um, not it? Chloe and Ino were TAing during which Ino wanted to know what was up with Reno's beans...so...many...dirty...comments. Romeo who's normally not on the island had a chat with Reno too. About catching penguins. I'm really hoping this squirrel just didn't want to write shit down right.

Ziva didn't care if her Adventure Games students were afraid of heights - they were going to harness up and climb the wall any damn way. I knew I liked Ziva. That sounds awesome. Jake - who has a fixation with his coffee cup - made his students play that two truths and a lie game that's in every other class during Private Investigations. Which is kinda sad, cause if you're teaching a class about investigating privates, shouldn't there be a bit more tastelessness going on?

God - I can not believe this school has a teacher called Aquaman. He - I hope it's a he - teaches Home Ec is Outrageous in case you didn't know, and today he taught his students how to make food-like substances. Which just makes me think back to the kids in Reno's class who were bidding for cannibalism. And finally my favourite class - Art of Adaptation learned from Mr. Bond about networking in strange cities and why you should never leave a paper trail. Kyle and me were there to TA as usual.

Annnnnnd that's all for - oh, no, wait, Professor deTamble was looking up train prices in the library. Either the squirrels have new web tracking software or this one just got really curious.

CABINS

If you go to the school, you hopefully already know we're in cabins for now. Which means - like it did before - don't fuck in your cabin. Seriously. Even if you think you're quiet, no one needs to hear that. Got it? Good.

In Snow Cap, Jonas was being a good little boy and writing a letter home. Boring. Ben stopped into Laffy Taffy with ice cream to check up on Tahiri. Okay, that's cute. And in Spree, Bobby and Sookie were chowing down on enough food to feed the whole town. You people are making me hungry. And wanting of candy.

Annnd let's see, Katnip - no, that's not right. Kattail? No, sorry, okay, Katniss - weird name - and her bow and arrows wandered back to the dorms to flirt awkwardly with Wesley in the shooting range. Two things straight off. Isn't a shooting range for guns? And if you're flirting awkwardly, you're not doing it right. Triela stopped in too to both cockblock Wesley and invite Katniss to join the gun club in the fall. She's efficient.

TOWN

Okay, there was a whole plot saga going on with Bobby and Sookie and Emma today so I'm gonna hit the squirrel related highlights on that before getting to the who-opened-what stuff. So Emma was in the clinic today, awww, and Bobby and Sookie visited her when Emma...took over Bobby. Like with her powers, I guess? Causing Ino who was on clinic duty to WTF. Yeah, I'm wtfing too. I guess Emma took off? Leading to Sookie calling the rescue squad of Karla, George, Kyle, and Warren to figure out wtf was going on. Long as we're all on the same page here. They wandered off island, but ...okay? when they came back, Sookie and Karla went back to the clinic to fix Bobby and Emma. Yeah, I'm not near magical enough to get what all happened so I'd probably ask them and not rely on radio here...

On to the usual stuff! The All-Volunteer Force planted trees at the Community Center and tried not to die of heat exhaustion or rain today. Alex - the girl one - tried not to set the Magic Box on fire today while Jane, maybe reacting to a fire, spent the day cleaning that art store. Gunn did research at the law firm; Makita was sadly NOT selling free kisses at Pixie Dust; Claudia read comic books at Book Haven; and Ashley gave herself a manicure at the gym. Awww, come on, Ashley, if you gonna be doing manicures, you have to tell me first so I can play too. Not fair! And Dani checked out some interior design magazines at the Gig. Maybe she wants to pretend it's not a horse stable. Ooh, and Jaina got a visit from Tahiri at her apartment.

Okay, good job town! There are so many people visiting businesses today, I don't even have to give the "um, go shopping" speech! Ben and iced coffee - what is it with this kid and bringing people food? - visited Ender at Stark Industries today, but I guess the food was a bribe to get Ender not to talk to him about the weekend. Mary wanted to talk about her dad showing up over the weekend so she broke up Price's lesson planning time at Wellspring Arms for a good chat. At the Trooper Station, Angua bought Ralph coffee and donuts cause he found some missing paperwork, but then he had to defend the donuts from a thieving Sheriff Vimes. Nice example there, Sheriff.

Just as a word of warning? Watch out for the storeroom at Luke's Diner? Lacey disappeared into earlier today. Maybe watch out for Lacey too. Angua was more worried about getting a kitchen boy to bring her a salad, but for the future, Lacey might need to be found. Didi pretended to work at Turtle and Canary today - isn't your usual day Tuesday? - but she was making money on the side by charging for talking about the weekend. Shunsui - I hope that's how you say it. I bet a lot of people hear your name and then say bless you - got to meet her and cleared up any Hope-related confusion. The person. Not the...oh, whatever. Dinah stopped in as well and was shocked, shocked! to find out there's gambling in this establishment that Didi is also Death.

Karla was Little Miss Popular at the sex shop which just goes to show that some people need all the help they can get. Cloud - God, new people time is so weird. I keep having to ask that's a name? - wanted some answers about the weekend while James and Dinah just wanted help finding new toys and books - respectively.

Ino wasn't thrilled about being at work in the Clinic today which is too bad given all the goings on we talked about earlier. And Chuck was in a pissy - and drunk - mood at Caritas. Sorry to hear that, big brother, anything I can do to help?

That's all we have for tonight, y'all. Hope everyone's getting over the trauma of the weekend or at least dousing their sorrows in a lot of alcohol. Night!