Sam: Good evening, Fandom. No, you don't need to adjust your radio, this really is Sam and Dean. We wanted to make sure we did our job before the island decided to turn me into some kind of animal again.

Dean: I'm totally emailing those yak pics to Peter by the way.

Sam: I'm totally breaking your laptop if you try.

Dean: I'll do it on your laptop.

Sam: I'll password protect it so you can't get on. Like when you're going to use it to search for porn and get viruses everywhere.

Dean: How's that working for ya so far Sammy?

Sam: ...better once I come up with passoword you can't guess, I think.

Dean: Never going to happen, Yakbreath.

Sam: Oh my God, just give me the notes to start with before I try to use them to beat you.


School News

Sam: The Laser Tag Adventures workshop met in a testing facility, where they had to test something called an ASPHD. The students had to test the crazy weapons system multiple times, but they got pie at the end, so I guess it was worth it? Apparently, cake wasn't an option, because it was a lie.

Dean: Pie's always the better option anyway.

Sam: Unless you have to cook it yourself, in which case cake wins out.

Dean: Nah. Still pie.

Sam: You know, I think I'm going to leave that argument alone, before we spend all night fighting. The Being Marooned workship got marooned on a deserted island as their final test...except it turned out to be the Isle of Ikea, so most of the students just went shopping instead, and then made up stories to tell Jack about how they "escaped." Considering how long the average person could spend in Ikea, getting out in one class period really is an escape.

The Logical Fallacies class discussed the straw man fallacy while having cake - apparently we're all celebrating the last week of classes with dessert? Anyway, they talked about all of the fallacies they'd learned about in class, and then made strawman arguments about specific social issues.

The Anatomy of a Trial workshop gave their closing arguments, and took a short final exam while Karla apologized to Ms. Cabot for missing class last week. The students were also told they'd get extra credit if they figure out a way to get an annullment in Virginia. Sounds like someone's still recovering from the weekend.

And finally, the Self Defense class got to show off everything they'd learned over the last few weeks. The students had the choice of fighting an unknown person, each other, or Faith, which is the option Kennedy decided to take.

Dean: Would be the option I'd take too. Might end up with a lot of bruises but it would be helluva worth it.

Sam: Assuming she let you consider it foreplay like you'd probably want to.

Dean: I don't think that would be a problem.

Sam: Which is part of why it's so good that you're a teacher for the time being. Speaking of the teachers, it looks like a lot of teachers were busy in their offices today. Constable Fraser was researching for his next workshop while Loki played video games. Maybe he was preparing too? Mr. Pierce and Ms. Gale shared coffee in his office, Anakin talked to Jaina about Ben's new tattoo, Drake was getting text messages, and Zoe talked to Ms. Perrault about how she needs to take a short leave of absence for the next term, before... um, talking to our dad on the phone.

Dean: Dad called?

Sam: Apparently? It, uh, sounds like he's doing okay.

Dean: Good. Though... might've been nice to hear that from the horse's mouth.

Sam: Um. Maybe not when he called today?

Dean: Why then?

Sam: ...I don't want to say it.

Dean: Sammy--

Sam: They had an inappropriate conversation, okay? There.

Dean: What do you mean they had an inapprop- Do you mean they had phone sex? *laughs*

Sam: I'm not saying that out loud, but that's what it sounds like. In her office! That's so...

Dean: Obvious where you picked up that little kink from now?

Sam: ...oh God, shut up. I didn't--just shut up. That's--no. No.

Dean: So it's cool when you do it, but something to be embarrassed over when it's Dad and Zoe?

Sam: I never said it was cool! And yes, it's embarrassing! Can we stop talking about this now before I actually die of embarrassment right here?

Dean: You're so repressed.


School News

Dean: Over in the dorms, Ariel was organizing her "collection" in her room. That sounds kind of dirty.

Sam: That's because it got filtered through your brain.

Dean: Del came by with ice cream and tried to figure out what some of the stuff was. Nope, still sounds dirty.

Christian stopped in to say hello and got to see Ariel's fork collection... Okay maybe not dirty so much as just weird. Forks? Knives I get, but forks...

Didi was trying to beat the heat with frozen grapes and a trashy romance novel. Okay, the grapes I get, but I'm not sure how trashy romance is supposed to beat the heat. Jaime came home with milkshakes and they talked about how much they missed each other in the cabins and were glad to be back in their room. Milkshakes are always a good drink to bring home -- I can't tell you how many times bringing milkshakes has gotten me laid.

Sam: That's because Alec is special. You're both kind of special, actually.

Dean: I know. We're awesome that way. James of Krondor was in the salle this morning, going through some sword drills, when Triela stopped by to check on him and they ended up sparring. As one does in the salle. With swords. ...And my mind just went to a dirty place again.

Sam: Oh my God, do I need to get a hose or something?

Dean: Yeah, because that's not phallic at all...

Sam: ...never mind, just keep reading. I don't even know what to do with you today.

Dean: Up on the fourth floor common room this evening, Kennedy and Dru were laying around with ice packs and talking about how they're going to miss Self Defense class, which was the reason why they needed the ice packs in the first place. Dru told Scully, who was also beat up after said class that since she was on her feet Scully was better off, and they talked about Dru's training with her father. Something maybe we should be comparing with Dru too, considering.

Kennedy told Scully she better get used to weird creatures about Fandom -- you mean she hasn't already? I mean, she's been here long enough, the weird should start seeming normal by now.

Sam: Some people take longer to adjust, if they came from somewhere really normal.

Dean: Even the most normal norm should have adjusted after two months though. Bobby and Warren showed up with tons of pizza hoping nobody would object to free food. Yeah, you'd think they'd already know the answer to that one. Kennedy tells them in case they don't -- which is you never turn down free food -- while Scully ogles the pizzas, and Dru asked Bobby to get her a slice of pepperoni pizza.

Warren wondered why he doesn't come up to the fourth floor CR more often because there's all these girls around. Truly a mystery for the ages, dude. Kennedy told him the second floor's not so bad either, while Scully and Warren worried about what I have planned for the last Sex Ed class. Admit it, my classes are awesome and you're going to miss them when they're over.

Sam: Your class has been... interesting, although I think Warren has every right to be worried.

Dean: Oh ye of little faith.

Sam: I have plenty of faith in you! To do something possibly kind of embarrassing to everyone.


Town News

Sam: Dani and Captain Price got into an argument about what he'd been doing last week at their house. Honestly, if it was over the weekend, I don't know if he can be blamed for whatever happened.

Max, Raven, and Karla went to Aphrodite's shop to try to fix whatever the heck is going on with her that made her turn her shop into a bad place. Apparently things didn't go the way they were supposed to, but they were successful anyway, so if you liked how the shop has been this week... well, you're possibly a terrible person and you'll just have to deal with it being less scandalous again, hopefully. Afterwards, Max stuck with Aphrodite to keep an eye on her and make sure she stays okay.

Hiccup tried to investigate Tony Stark's apartment, and got pelted with fruit for his curiosity. Cable was repressing at Wellspring Arms, although I'm not sure what he was repressing. Possibly everything. Captain Price came in to use the shooting range, as did Ashley, and then they shot things together. In the range, that is.

Helen introduced Rosalind to the horses at the Gig, and James came by to flirt and to try to get Helen to have sex with him. Dude, come on, she was probably trying to work. At least wait until you both get back to the dorms?

Dean: Yeah, because it's not like anyone ever has sex when it's not in the dorms or anything...

Sam: I'd remind you that it was only once, but I know how little effect that statement has on you. Hoshi was watching Wimbledon at the Arms Hotel while Lindsay was advertising soccer stuff at Nast Sporting Goods. Lion-o wanted to know if their soccer inventory included vuvuzelas, and for the sake of everyone's ear drums, I hope the answer was no.

Dimitri was dealing with emails at the Atlas gym, and with Rose, who wanted to argue about her hair and whether or not she could make it pink. Ralph gave Dani Reese some time off from paperwork at the Trooper Station, and Millie baked at Book Haven. That is, she baked cookies, not was baked, squirrels.

Max taught kicking tonight at his Combat Training class. Millie was wearing skirts tonight, which Max apparently disapproved of. She also brought him brownies though, so that might have helped. Mary had to be told to take her stilettos off before trying to kick, and Summer came by, apologizing for missing the last few weeks of the class.

Over at the church, Castiel's sermon of the week was about repetitive bodily functions and how terrible they are, which had the somewhat usual effect of confusing everyone within earshot. Afterwards, while Castiel was still trying to deal, Didi assured him that he wasn't alone, because she doesn't get how humans eat all the time. Chuck, of course, brought up the fun repetitive things like sex, sleeping, and eating, Kurt said that Castiel had a point about monotony being boring, and that people should live it up a little, and Dean said that sometimes, a little routine isn't such a bad thing. Really?

Dean: And then we talked about sex and kittens. So, y'know, basically what amounts to a normal conversation with the angel nowadays.

Sam: Okay, that actually does sound normal for him, and for you guys. Scully was typing up case notes at the clinic, and Chuck was making raspberry margaritas at Caritas, which does not make him a girl, squirrels, but someone with good taste. Kate came by and got a mangorita, which sounds just as good.

Dean: I dunno. I kinda like my liquor straight up.

Sam: I think it's good both ways. And speaking of liquor, do you want to go get some? That's all the notes I have.

Dean: Sure, I can go for a drink or two.

Sam: At least there, no one can hear you make me uncomfortable with sex talk. Have a good night, Fandom!