Sam: Good evening, Fandom. Although, I guess it's probably not a very good evening for most folks.

Dean: Only if you let it. It's amazing what denial will do for you. *thudding sound* Oh for... move so I can throw this IN DENIAL bag out of the way.

Sam: I'd been hoping this crap wouldn't follow us in here tonight. So much for that.

Dean: The little squirrel-sized bags lined up by the empty rum bottles should've given you a clue there.

Sam: Wow, we really are an island full of issues, huh? I think I could have lived without knowing that.

Dean: With the amount of rum they drink, it's not really that surprising.

Sam: Well, let's get through today's notes, and then we can leave them alone to wallow again, yeah?

Dean: Sounds good to me.


School News

Sam: The Great Outdoors class met outside, even though it was raining, to discuss animals you find in the outdoors, and to learn how to prepare for and deal with a wild animal encounter. Hopefully "run away as fast as you can" was part of the lesson.

The Arts and Crafts class got to play with sewing machines and hot glue guns to make finger puppets, and the Dating, Hooking Up, and Sex class took a field trip to Caritas to take their first steps towards learning how to hook up. First, Dean and Chuck demonstrated how to approach and have a conversation with someone you might want to hook up with, while everyone else watched. Then, the students had to pair up and hit on each other to practice making conversation with someone in person.

Dean: And Sammy facepalmed a lot.

Sam: We had class in a bar!

Dean: And...? Would you I have preferred to have the hook up class in the library?

Sam: ...I am never telling you about anything fun ever again. I talked to Scully about why I'm TAing for Dean, and how he'd better not make me actually teach one of these sessions of his class, and Chuck got to relax once the demonstration was over.

The Ocker 101 class learned how to sharpen and care for knives, which is an especially good skill around here. Once their knives were ready, everyone had a chance to practice with the knives on straw animals and mannequins and such, although it looks like a lot of people decided to use their knives on their baggage instead. I don't think anyone can be blamed for wanting to use this crap as target practice.

The First Aid class used dummies that bleed green to learn how to treat bullet and stab wounds, which sounds better than using dummies that look like they're bleeding real blood. Hawkeye demonstrated the techniques first, and then everyone got their own dummies to heal. And Dan was reading poetry in the library.

Over in the teacher offices, Dean ate lunch and tried to ignore his baggage. Were you at all successful?

Dean: Pretty much, yeah. I kinda do it all the time anyway.

Sam: We've learned that skill pretty well, haven't we? Aquaman was cleaning when his luggage showed up, although he was sure that it belonged to someone else. That doesn't seem likely, from my experience today. Guy tried to cover up one of his bags, which is what I'm sure a lot of people were doing today. Personally, I think I managed to get most of mine covered.

Dean: *thud* I think this DELUDED bag is yours, Sammy.

Sam: Stupid [microphone feedback]ing... *thud* There, it can go with the rest of them later. Deadpool was trying to figure out what was going on today, because I guess he can't read or something? And Artie had baggage too, but he didn't understand what it was there for, and when Aquaman came by, they ended up getting even more confused and thinking the luggage was a prize. Uh, not exactly.


Cabin News

Dean: Over in Weeping Angel -- and may I just say that is a crappy name for a cabin? Stupid stone angels stealing people don't need a cabin named after them. Anyway, over in the crappy named cabin, Kate was trying to shove her baggage under her bed when Bod showed up with none. I'd say someone was just way too well adjusted to be real if more baggage hadn't shown up as they talked.

Over in Snow Monster, Jaina got trapped in her alcove by her baggage, which caused Jo to offer her alcohol, all the better to set it on fire. And while she couldn't get into her alcove, Chuck Bass couldn't get in either. He and Jack Priest talked about it and how if this was some kind of therapy all it was doing was pissing people off. No kidding.

Sam: Yeah, I don't think anyone's getting anything out of the forced sharing of issues.

Dean: Denial, Sammy. Whether it's a bag or not, it's also a coping strategy. Sammy here tried covering up his baggage but nearly tripped over a new one. Graceful as always, Sammy.

Sam: It was in my way! And the damn thing was big too. Totally not my fault.

Dean: What was it?

Sam: Um. Something about codependence.

Dean: ...Psychotic, irrational, erotic codependence with brother?

Sam: Yeah, how did you know?

Dean: *koff* Lucky guess. Alice was upset by the luggage and went for a walk. Aw, don't let it get to you, sweetheart. They're just stupid bags.

Leia set out from Land Shark and turned into a kitten. Awwww. Somebody should take her to visit Cas -- he really has a thing for kittens.

Denise didn't care must about her baggage over in Killer Tomato, and got to talking with Emmett which led to them making a deal to get each other laid. Heh, I think maybe I should give him extra credit in class for that.

Sam: That might be appropriate in this one case.

Dean: Thank you for your permission. Over at Monkeypony, Didi and Jono's baggage led to them talking about their families and whether she was going anywhere. Hiccup was on the roof with Toothless and Ben figured out who he was because, hello, dragon. After he introduced himself they talked about names. And somehow I don't think the discussion focused on the name 'Ben.'

At Alligator,Emma wouldn't let Jack Priest in until he had some baggage too. Misery loves company, I guess. Karla got a call from Dinah while she was building a fort out of her baggage. Creative.

And outside Alligator, Raven had been offering to help people with their baggage -- I'll take aspirations to be a bell hop for $100, Alex -- till she turned into an actual raven. Hands up those who saw that coming.

*chittering*

Dean: Okay there's something vaguely disturbing about a row of squirrels with little baggage and empty rum bottles all holding their hands up. Bruce was trapped by a giant crate, so he meditated. Kitty had to check what was going on. So did Scully, to whom Bruce explained he has issues -- no, really? -- and when she went to get something to help him out, he escaped.

Effy was burning baggage at the Zombie fire. And now I'm picturing a bonfire of rotten stinking corpses, thanks.

Squall stopped by to burn one of his many trunks full of abandonment issues and Ariel needed help to move her Daddy baggage into the fire.

Effy and Alex snarked about what therapists would say about setting their issues on fire. I don't know about therapists, but it sounds like a good idea to m- *thud* You know if you're going to toss PYROMANIAC baggage at me, the least you can do is make sure there's a lighter packed.

Sam: At least that's something you're not totally ashamed of? In the Zombie cabin, Squall woke up on top of his bags, and Ariel was excited to have new stuff. I guess you could use the luggage if you really wanted to, but... you know, I can't imagine wanting to.

Goose tried growling at his baggage. I tried yelling and swearing, and that didn't get me anywhere, so I can't imagine growling had much effect either. In the Gremlin cabin, Ellie ended up outside her alcove, because there was so much baggage inside, and James had a bed surrounded by luggage.

Over in the Laser Bear cabin, Delirium was playing with finger puppets when the baggage started showing up, and she freaked out a little until Didi came to check on her and snuggled with her. Awww. Lindsay checked in on her too, and they ended up talking about dogs, which is always a better topic than anyone's baggage.

And in the Godzilla cabin, Tahiri tried to convince her growing luggage pile that she was done being grounded and didn't need to be trapped. Honestly, some of these bags ended up in the worst possible place.

Kennedy was chilling out at the Harpy campfire with food and an unwanted backpack. Rilla learned all about luggage and airports - probably because we've got enough baggage between all of us to fill an airport - and Kennedy assured her that she wasn't hitting on her. Rinoa told Rilla that her baggage, which said other girls are prettier than her, lied and that she's very pretty herself, and Diana pointed out that at least Rilla's baggage was small.

Tim got flirted with by Ariel, who was excited to find out that he knows sign language, Kennedy and Tim discussed the ongoing "eat a bag of marshmallows a day" bet, Rinoa tried to ask Tim what his baggage meant, so he countered by asking her about her issues, and Diana and Tim tried to decide if lighting the bags on fire would work. There's an idea, if they don't go away fast enough.

Dean: I've got an even better one. Explosives.

Sam: Ooh, that is a better idea. Kennedy and Ariel had a one-way conversation until Kennedy pulled out her cellphone and texted with her instead. That's even better than pen and paper, well done. Ariel also told Rinoa about her date with Puck, through apparently impressive hand gestures.

Kennedy was jealous that Rinoa's luggage matched, because that's totally the thing to focus on here. Jason and Tim talked about how having their issues aired publicly was not something they were warned about, and Kennedy made Jason blush by reminding him of his "token guy" status in their cabin. Dude, people would kill to be the only guy in a cabin with girls. Enjoy it, seriously.

Dean: That sounded suspiciously like something I would say.

Sam: Yeah, well, maybe I don't totally disagree with everything you have to say about dealing with the opposite sex. Sookie was there with her bags, and Kurt stopped by as well, with baggage in tow since there's no escape from it, and Diana managed to only have one bag with her at the moment.


Town News

Sam: Over at the park, Drake turned into a... drake?

*chittering*

Oh, he's a duck, duh. Maybe that means he got to spend the day baggage-free. Who would have thought that getting turned into an animal could be a good thing?

Dean: Squirrel luggage.

Sam: Okay, good point. Mr. DeTamble was reading and ignoring his luggage, which makes me think one of them might have said IN DENIAL too.

Oz tried ripping the tags off of his baggage, for all the good that could do, Loki ended up throwing his bags against the wall, and Rose and Dimitri were running by Serendipity Place when she literally tripped over her own baggage. Ow.

Marcus proved that the baggage can be burned, because he set his on fire at the Imperial Junke Yard. Kyle came by to ask Marcus if he needed any supplies, since he's going to the mainland tomorrow, and tried to get Marcus to realize that the baggage was an island thing, and that burning it wouldn't actually make it go away. Yeah, but it probably felt really good.

Ben and Kyle met up for ice cream at Chilly Boulder, but they had to knock all of Ben's baggage out of the way first to get inside. Really, it's like these things know the exact worst spot to land.

Ben also paid a visit to Ender at Serenity Cove, where he was working on his raft and turning his baggage over in the sand to try to keep it from distracting him. He and Ben tried to figure out what the island was trying to accomplish as the baggage piled up around them. Maybe it thinks we haven't been drinking enough lately?

Dean: That's just begging for a case with 'budding alcoholic' to fall from the sky.

Sam: Considering what a lightweight I am, I don't think that's actually an issue I have. Jenny was in a terrible mood at Pixie Dust, matching the rest of the island quite nicely, I imagine. Vida was trying not to pay too much attention to her baggage at Covent Garden Flowers when she turned into a peacock. Hopefully that meant the baggage stopped showing up for her. And Captain Price was actually in a decent mood at Wellspring Arms.

Arya was trying to rearrange the front displays at Coyote Medicine, and Mary was dealing with a serious amount of luggage at The Arms Hotel, only some of which was actually hers. Chloe's baggage followed her to work at Android's Dungeon, and Harper's baggage followed her to Things Reborn, although she had a much bigger issue in the form of not being able to reach her parents on the phone, which she talked about with Alex when she came by to bring Harper coffee.

Angua had to deal with her baggage showing up at the park, Hope was cleaning every square inch of Turtle and Canary that she could reach, and Sean was making phone calls for Annja at Nast Sporting Goods.

Even Castiel had baggage issues at the church, especially in keeping the kittens off of the bags as they fell. Chuck and Castiel talked about what their luggage was saying, Dean and Castiel talked about Castiel's issues with being away from home, and Castiel and I talked about how the kittens are coming along.

Mina was looking over some reports she'd received at the clinic, and didn't seem happy with what they said. And Damon was, of course, surrounded by baggage at Caritas. Angua tried to order something without a label, and she and Damon tried to decide which one of them had more baggage and worse baggage. I don't think that's a competition anyone really wants to win.

Dean: You'd be surprised at what some people compete at.

Sam: I guess. Maybe we should all just agree that we have issues, and they all equally suck.

Dean: And that baggage has a bad sense of humor.

Sam: And that we're all better off without physical reminders of our problems.

Dean: Agreed. So I still got that case with all the stuff needed to blow things up...

Sam: And I've still got things that need to be blown up. Shall we get out of here?

Dean: Yep. Good night, everyone.