Jaina: *microphone feedback* I NEED TO STOP GETTING KIDNAPPED BY SQUIRRELS TO THE RADIO STATION. Hi, Fandom. Apparently your regular broadcasters shouldn't be here, so you're stuck with me. And I seem to be missing a whole chunk of notes, so at least this'll be quick.

...Why'm I getting a call? *click* Hello?

Adrian: You don't sound happy to be there.

Jaina: If you're calling just to irritate me-

Adrian: Actually, I'm calling because I have a squirrel at my door with notes and a bottle of rum, and I can't turn down a bribe like that. Even if it's with someone who calls guarding me "babysitting."

Jaina: I only call it babysitting because you're twelve.

Adrian: You should let me know if you ever want me to prove otherwise...

Jaina: Read your notes without hitting on me.


SCHOOL

Adrian: Oh, I see they gave me the business end of school. I suddenly see why the rum was necessary. Modeling for Dummies pretended to be monsters and mad scientists-

Jaina: Not funny!

Adrian: They, quote, "struck a pose," and then there was People Suck class- where were these when I was going to school?- talked about hypocrites. Not that anyone will have to deal with those in their lifetime. The students opened doors to see if there were hypocrites behind them, and some people got slimed.

....

Jaina: Still want to be in that class?

Adrian: Not in these clothes. In A Perfect Crime class, Rick was singing Rick Astley. I still don't understand why anyone would do that. Not everyone appreciated the performance, I'm guessing, but Jaime complimented Rick after class. Someone wants an A. The, uh, Ass Club got to watch Richard Simmons. Happy April Fool's? People did their mingling thing, including Emmett and Gabrielle, and Kate talked to Mitchell about her visit to Bristol.

In the library, George had a song in his head, along with a visit from Karla, and Henry was reading about softball, and school's not particularly thrilling.

Jaina: Obviously you got them to class them up.

Adrian: I hear you flirting with me, Jaina.

Jaina: No. You know what gesture I'm making, don't you?

Adrian: I can think of a couple. Steve was doing actual work, Drake was just thinking, and Anakin was sending his grandson notes. He had a Raven, who felt badly that she made the effects of yesterday's pot brownies worse- Raven, there is nothing to feel bad about there unless there's a bad reaction the next day- and Jaina here wasn't liking last week's hallucinogenic fog.

Jaina: I always thought it was bad talking about myself on radio, but it's worse having to listen to you say it.

Adrian: There's nothing bad to hear. Come on, let's talk about this.

Jaina: Don't make me threaten you on the air, people will frown at me for that.

Adrian: It's your turn anyway.

Jaina: Then I can hang up.

Adrian: I wouldn't. On my notes is scrawled- with really bad spelling, by the way- "she's boring alone."

Jaina: I hate everything.


DORMS

Jaina: At the halfway point for me getting back to the safety of my room, Dinah found Jaime packing for a trip home for Easter, which meant she couldn't ask him to go along to Karla's. And then there was Francine's birthday party on the sixth floor, which Karla helped Katina set up for, and Dinah brought more stuff. There was even more mingling, with Arthur getting greeted by Katina and Dinah, and Hurley teased Tahiri about being in her robes. What's wrong with that?

Adrian: That depends on what you mean by 'robes.' I'm picturing-

Jaina: No. Not those kind. Mat and Kennedy compared taste in girls, Dinah and Azula had small talk, and Jack Priest had Passover restrictions regarding his food. You'll all be happy to know he still got to eat.

Adrian: I am. Sure, why not.

Jaina: There were cake and presents, a ballpit and dance floor, and Francine was there to be wished by Kennedy, both Blysse and Blind Seer, Tahiri, Dinah, Mat and Gabrielle. And me. Happy birthday, Francine.

Adrian: I would have said it in person, had I been invited.

Jaina: You really want to hang around high school students?

Adrian: Nothing wrong with that. Aren't you older than me?

Jaina: I still got the email.

Adrian: Touché.


TOWN

Jaina: And the home stretch. Biff had what the squirrels tell me is a very depressing Passover-

Adrian: You'd be surprised how many religious holidays are depressing to begin with.

Jaina: That's very cynical. Drink more. At the parking lot... Marcus stole a car. Congratulations, new guy, you've stolen a mode of transportation I haven't.

Adrian: You make a habit of that?

Jaina: Gotta do what you gotta do, right?

Adrian: And sometimes what you gotta do is build up a rap sheet.

Jaina: Shhh. He then had to come back, where VIda, the owner, found him fixing it. ....Is it wrong I kind of want to meet this guy? And Grandfather bonded with the new guy over car-fixing. Somehow this doesn't shock me.

Adrian: The same guy you just said you wanted to meet.

Jaina: How many times do I have to tell you to shut up in one broadcast?

Adrian: That's the first...

Jaina: Katina only did a half day at work since she had a party to throw, and at the gym, Rose and Dimitri were cute.

Adrian: That's your adjective? Really?

Jaina: Yes. Got a problem with it? Book Haven was open, Helen and her Yoda fox were at the Gig, and Jennifer was thinking naughty thoughts at the law office. I don't know how or why the squirrels know this, but be afraid. Speaking of being afraid, Kennedy found Tara being pranked by her place of work.

Adrian: Every time I hear words like that, I always have to take a moment to wonder if my drink has been spiked.

Jaina: I'm ignoring you. Hoshi was teaching Gunther to make Korean food at the Arms, and at the trooper station, Dani Reese found the coffee supply had been stolen as an April Fool's joke. That's horrible. She also got to explain the holiday to Angua. Most of their holidays are a little weird, Angua. You get used to it. And then Shelley went to see Vida at the flower shop because being a bunny had screwed up her game.

Adrian: I find that entirely hard to believe. Hilarious, but hard to believe.

Jaina: There's nothing wrong with being a bunny. I'm just saying.

At the church, Castiel had been working on a sermon about feline pregnancy until he was bitten by a gremlin. You lucky churchgoers. Except... oh, wait, he didn't open the church, but he was speaking in German and talking about elevation when Shelley came by to explain that she'd been a bunny and oh no. Elena was trying to drive people away from Pixie Dust, but Jenny came by with alcohol, so I'm sure that made it better.

Adrian: It usually does. Did the squirrels leave you any?

Jaina: I'm not drinking on radio. That's much more a Brooke thing.

Adrian: Who's Brooke?

Jaina: ....No one you need to meet. Ever. Angua- why does the regular girl have such a problem with her name?- went to Wellspring Arms to check that they're still not selling actual weapons. I think I kind of agree with her that we sort of needed those last week.

Adrian: What's that they say, guns don't kill people-

Jaina: People with guns kill giant lizards.

Adrian: That, too.

Jaina: There was rehearsal, where people hung out offstage, and Karla told Ender about the brownies yesterday and how they think it was courtesy of Chuck Bass. Adrian can't vouch for me because he's at home, but notice how I'm reserving judgment and not frowning in the general direction of the dorms. They ran through act four of something or other, and Sophie checked in on Tony Foster, who's playing fill-in director. And Not-Master Katarn opened Caritas, where Robin got to meet her fellow bartender.

Adrian: As reported by two more bartenders.

Jaina: You're not reporting, you're just adding color commentary like I can't do this myself.

Adrian: Well.

Jaina: Shut it, newbie. Kyle warned Marcus that he should be prepared, like that's not foreboding or anything, and Robin introduced herself as the deputy mayor helping him settle in.

Adrian: Here I thought she was a lowly cougar.

Jaina: ....Marcus and John Price talked about where they last came from, and Price asked for a drink Kyle didn't know about. Happens to everyone.

Adrian: Does it?

*click*

Jaina: Oh, look, Adrian got disconnected. Good night, Fandom.