So, today was the Man Vs Food challenge they've been advertising more than that stupid ass 'Life Unexpected' show. God, I could go to the CW executives and start shooting for that. Seriously, whose brilliant idea was it to make a show about a kid who hunts down her birth parents for wacky hijinks?

That's Sundance material there.

But enough of my rage, onto the news.

School

Over at the school, Dada went on about zombies and brains. Sweet, delicious brains. They had the worst band in town and made the kids tape them up and make some breathing devices maybe of the SCUBA variety. Because, you know, the teachers enjoy scarring kids for life. Which I can get behind, to be honest.

Everyone's favorite cool dude, Billy Zane had his class on obsessive, Police song inspired love. And if it really is love when someone is in control of every aspect of the relationship and then slowly sucks your will to live until you just want to smother them with a pillow in the night, but don't because you've got a car payment due.

Or something.

*cough*

Paige showed up and was all up in the Cole being an example and I don't know who Cole is, but I'm getting strong Doctor Doom vibes from the name. No clue why just yet. It'll come to me. The felt frog stopped by to let Billy Zane know he had chicken pox last week. Oh, and everyone's favorite lesbian was there to TA.

Magic for Dummies was around today to learn about all those tools in magic. Like brooms. And dancing around naked. I say it in a book one time. I know it's true. Paige and Harper were there too. For stuff. History of Medicine learned about ancient Greece and all the rampant --okay, too easy a joke. Just think of the 300, and you got it, kids. They did something with the hippocratic oath--which is a joke, by the way--Savannah and Claire were there and Claire got all up in Nick's grill about him nomming on Raven because wild accusations help everyone.

Ziiiiiiiiva did translations in Study Hall like a nerd. Leda was there and not feeling well, but was fine enough to talk about her hover bike. Yeah, well... I can fly. In space. So, suck it. Oh, and Spock showed up to study too. The Emoest Giant tried to hide in the library, which was a shit idea since he's there every Wednesday. Claire showed up to talk to him about eeeeevil vampires while Chuck just brought him a salad because Chuck is his girlfriend. True story. Henry was also there. Eatin' candy. Mmmmm.

Mitchell moved his posters around in order to redecorate. Classy, man. Classy. Anakin brought his daughter who isn't as awesome as Jan to see Zoe about the attack on Raven.

Dorms

*wooorp*

*flash*

Cable: Wade. I thought you were going to grab some NyQuil...?

Deadpool: Well, I was, but there were these squirrels and--crap, I'm still on the air.

Jan: *crying*

Cable: We're going to have to bodyslide down to the apothecary... Good evening, Fandom. I'll be helping Wade bring the news to get this done quick. Savannah set up for cheerleading practice this morning in the gym. There were warm-ups, discussion of club affairs where Claire and Savannah mentioned when to plan in their tryouts, a coach and an audience.

Jan: Smells.

Cable: I know. Wade...? Could you take her for a second?

Deadpool: You are killin' my street cred, man. Gimme.

Jan: Wayyyd.

Cable: The Magic Reserves make use of the Danger Shop for a little training and exercise. Mingling was at hand. Then they battled it out with... gummi dinosaurs in order to protect porn stars. ...Wade, you weren't involved in this, by any chance...?

In the simulated town, Tara manages to defeat a few dinosaurs with her spells. At the school, Jono burns down a few dinosaurs with his psionics, Diana takes off against a pterodactyl, and Kurt teleports onto a dinosaur's back. To punch it. The remaining parts of the island in the sim see Dinah airwalking. The leaders were present, and Karla explained to Diana that the dinosaurs were supposed to be zombies. Yes... reliving that trauma would've been a good exercise. Dinah and Merlin argue it out about whether or not he punched the right buttons. All evidence points to no...

Deadpool: Mmmm. Porn.

Cable: On the fourth floor, Triela's in a mood. Momoko's in a better one, and winds up talking about clothes. Leda baffles about her mood matching Triela's - right - and Momoko says hi.

Deadpool: So, Raven, who is apparently the talk of the town, was in her room today. Chillaxing. Diana showed up and got the 411 of Max saving her and hopefully keepin' his hands to himself. Jack also showed up because he's an expert on vampire attacks it would seem. I wanna be an expert on that. But then I have to be Hannibal. And he never got a badass sword, so I'm fine as me. Leda showed up and fond out Max is a vampire--wait, what? God, you miss one episode and everything changes. I'm TiVoing crap. Harper brought her notes from class and found out about the attack like eeeeeveryone else. Oh, and Tahiri showed up, but the rest of the note got soaked in rum. You boozing lil' rats.

Deadpool: Rose isn't a bobcat anymore. But, you know. That's like a small cougar, so... get to work on that. Alex stopped by and was sad he missed her as a kitty and then there was soemthing about zombie cows and I think it's best we assume it's slang for something. Jack was there too and they talked about the attack. Wow, it's everywhere, man. Oh, and Elle noted she wasn't a cat. Mat with one t was in his room all sicky. Yeah, join the club.

Jan: *cries*

Deadpool: I know, kiddo. We're goin' as fast as possible. Bobby was all penguiny and Kennedy stopped by to mock when Jean also came along and then he was naked and human. Wow, that's magical. Jaime got some candy and we'll assumed that was a bad idea. Didi was by to try out some new toy and partake in the candy. Dinah showed up to talk about liking a boy. To a boy. Jaina, unlike Lois, was walkin' off her return all injured. Ben showed up all worried and she told him she was walkin' it off. So... walk it off, Ben. Tahiri was also in, but there was less walkin' it off.

Town

Cable: Dinah spent her time at the flower shop writing notes and lamenting Valentine's Day coming up. Hm. Kate was amused by the V-day setting of the place. Naomi was at Stark's; Jack brought burgers. At Wellspring, Ino studied -- good. Katchoo was sick down at the art store, but that didn't keep Arthur from showing up.

Jan: Don't wanna-- *cries*

Cable: NyQuil. Soon. You'll have to tough it out until then. Gwynn figured out her iPod at the Gig. Apple's tricky. Tim swung by to visit. Jacob and Morgana showed up at Pizza Planet for a date. Good choice. Aphrodite spent the day at work worrying about what to do about Max... if there's a problem, come see me. Max showed up to help her figure it out. Lion-O labored away at Luke's Diner, and Kate and Joan swung by the coffee shop to talk.

Deadpool: Dru played with candles in a way that was probably not something I should make a joke about considering she's Dakota Fanning. And might be trying to kill me still. Summer was over at J,GoB for sweets and got chatted up by Ashley. The Mullet was listening to Lady Gaga at Imperial Brim. Possibly hoping she'll buy a hat there. Liir was a busy lil' bee at Cafe Fina when Lulu showed up to tell him she bought the place. And was his mother. Did I make that up? Who knows?

Cable: You probably did.

Deadpool: It's part of my charm. Hot Chick!Alex was at the law firm and got conned into giving Roy a job there. The esteemed Miss Bennet read up on romance and monsters while, Alice organized Groovy Tunes aaaand Marshall worked on puzzles. Oh, and Martha had a quiet day save for Francine askin' about chocolate.

Jan: Tiiiiiired!

Deadpool: Okay, squirming equals dropped kid. That's all, folks. Have a good night!

Cable: Bodyslide by three.

*wooorp*