Valentine: Hey, there, Madame President.

Turtle: ......heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Valentine: So, while Turtle beams with euphoria, I might as well start. I'm Valentine, this is Turtle, and you're listening to WTF--

Turtle: You like me! You really like me!

Valentine: ...us.

Turtle: Yeah, Valentine too. But thank you so much everyone for voting Wexler and Wiggin and we hope to bring you another semester of all the news that's fit to be scribbled down by wee drunked squirrels. Or else my name isn't--

Valentine: Madame President?

Turtle: .....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.




SCHOOL

Turtle: Today, in Mr. Halpert's Humorous History class, we talked about Theodore Roosevelt, one of the coolest presents ever. I mean, you have to be cool if you're still known for machismo even when you inspire something as squishy as teddy bears. Which, basically, lead to a class where we got to just play with teddy bears and we have to take a photo of them somewhere coo--

--Ooh! Valentine! Take over! I'm going to run get that bear and we can get a picture of him doing radio with the squirrels! BRB!

*thunk. screech. scamper*

*long pause*

Valentine: You all heard that, too, right? She actually just said BRB.

Anyway, the radio must go on. If I get through it quickly enough, I can get to Student Council before she gets back and save us a ton of time. Kelly and Turtle were neglecting their TA duties to play with teddy bears, but it's Halpert's fault for giving them some in the first place.

Engineering Math was working with sound, frequency, and music, which meant that they got to fiddle with instruments and make beautiful music together.

How to Win Friends and Influence People learned about six ways to make people like you, and then they got to utilize those methods by pairing up for conversations.

Studio art got to landscapes with a variety of artsy options.

Jono spent his time in the library looking into modern music industry.

And we've made it to the clear by getting to Student Council having their first meeting, where my lovely co-host T.R. Wexler was voted President. Then they strapped down to business to discuss the upcoming Parent's Weekend. I first came here on a parent's weekend. Ah. Memories.

There was also a Fandom Hightimes meeting where they celebrated the first issue and discussed future issues. I personally have to approve of the cute kitten pictures.

Minsc struggled with a syllabus in his office, while Sweets possibly strugged with an Azula in his.

*click. creak. padding feet. thump*

Turtle: *breathless* Did I miss it?

Valentine: Miss what?

Turtle: Stu...Co...?

Valentine: Sorry, Turtle. There weren't a lot of school notes.

Turtle: *groan*

Valentine: But don't worry. I'm sure everyone's cheering the news. After all, they voted for you.

Turtle: Twice! Because we're here on radio, too!

Valentine: They love you, Turtle.

Turtle: Awww, thanks, Val. Where are we now?

Valentine: Just got to dorms.

Turtle: I got them!

DORMS

Turtle: Francine's waiting for Katchoo to get home and is not happy about it, thus the rage that ensues, not at all helped by Katchoo being all beaten up and spending the night in jail. Yeesh. She wants to know if Merlin was involved in all the drunken fistfighting because Arthur was, too, but he wasn't.
Then Kate snuck into Leto's ro--

Valentine: --om and there was joking around and maybe a little kissy. *sound of a pat on the back* Eleanor switches to tarot cards to help her relax since reading isn't working, and Bobby worries over an email. Sookie came by to hear the story of his phone, lost to the little blue men. Mirax also hears the story, as well as an explaination on writing an email about losing the phone is so difficult, which hopefully meets her demands for being entertained.

You good, Turtle?

Turtle: I'm fine, I'm fine! I don't know if Kelly is, though. She's discovered YouTube, and I do not think that could possibly end well. Azula goes to look at Zach-with-an-H's artwork. The squirrel informs me that this is not dirty, but I don't see why it would be.

Valentine: He could be one of those kinds of artists, Turtle.

Turtle: Ew. Anyway, Kappa Kappa Gremlin had their meeting in the gym today, so they could pretend to be manly by playing basketball. They ate stuff, too, and Eric wondered if Chuck Not-Bass was ready for some...basketball. It doesn't work as well with basketball as it does with football.

Valentine: No, it does not. Mat notes that George is sparkly, but they talk about flipping over claim over Jean instead of boykissing like they should be.

Turtle: Preach it, Val.

Valentine: Arthur looked about ready to dribble more than just the ball, and Illryia just tried to figure out what the whole point of basketball was with Hannibal.

Turtle: Boys playing it to excell in something they consider a form of machismo?

Valentine: Exactly. Pretty simple, really. But at least they weren't wrestling. Actually, I take that back. Wrestling might have meant more boykissy.

Turtle: Leto was working with some spinning blades in the salle and Triela showed up. No word on if they started with kissing, but I wouldn't be surprised. Then, there's a big old fancy schmancy exclusive party up in the sixth floor, with a crap ton of ice cream.

Valentine: That's the actual measurement, too. Karla wondered if Hurley was avoiding her to avoid horseback riding before accusing Gabrielle of looking like she's plotting something, something that Tahiri insists that she shouldn't even be thinking about. Karla then apologized to Blysse and Blind Seer for the last minute invite, while Dinah's glad to see that they appear to be better.

Turtle: Tahiri went to thank Blysse and Blind Seer for coming, and, of course, Ben was there. Karla teased him about making himself scarce, and Tahiri knows better. She knows he's just there for the ice cream. Karla reassures Tahiri that she shouldn't feel nervous; the party is to celebrate her and her accomplishments. Hurley wondered if he had to call Tahiri 'sir' now, and Dinah was all, 'whooo! You're a knight!' So now we know what the party is about.

...Valentine, I'm a president now. Do I get a party?

Valentine: Sure. Why not.

Turtle: Sweet. Anyway, Mullet Jack showed up, which confused Karla because he wasn't one of the cool kids invited. Tahiri's glad Rachel made it, though, and Hurley is, too; he didn't realize she knew Tahiri. Karla? Also glad, giving Rachel a hug, and Dinah caught up with her. Dinah also brought more dessers, which Karla appreciates, even if there's already a crap ton of ice cream. Hurley also appreciated the cookies, although I doubt anyone's surprised there.

Valentine: Tahiri's glad Jaina's there, but she explains that free food and a good reason is more than enough reason. Jaina also worries about the excess ice cream, but Hurley assures her not to underestimate Tahiri's ice cream consuming prowess. Jaina also ribs Ben like a good relative should about all the ice cream, and he thinks it's nice to have a party for a Jedi that doesn't share a genetic code with them. Awww.

Turtle: There actually was some food, which Tahiri did eat a little bit of it, but most of the om-nomming was happening with, duh, the ice cream, which causes much gawking and 'we need to get more of this' from Tahiri and Ben. Also, Dinah is, like, five, and enjoys the ballpit.

But, it's a ballpit, so we can't blame her.

Valentine: And, in the third floor common room, Chuck Not-Bass is making a birthday dinner with his sister, so now it's my turn to 'awwww.' And regret that neither Ender nor I can cook. Jennifer is drawn into the food and sticks around because Chuck informs her that there's plenty, and Ellie tells her that it's all for Chuck's birthday.

Turtle: Haaaappy birthday, Chuck!

Valentine: Zach is also invited to the feast and Ellie recognizes him as one of those new kids that've been hanging around, and then he wishes Chuck a happy birthday. Jen and Zach--

Turtle: With-an-H.

Valentine: I'm sorry?

Turtle: To set him a part. Zach-with-an-H. Not Zack-with-a-K.

Valentine: So like the Jacks and the Chucks and the Robins. Got it. Zach-with-an-H and Jennifer talk about how Chuck Not-Bass and Ellie don't seem to mind their wandering into the impromtu birthday party. Azula astutely notices that Zach-with-an-H is there, which I assume is before he went to show her his dirty pictures. Eric...you know we've got two Erics now, too.

Turtle:....oh, just leave it. It's getting silly now.

Valentine: So Jennifer's amused to see that Eric's prepared for the birthday, and Chuck is pretty surprised that Eric brought a present. So of course Eric gets food. Ellie's not surprised to see him, and Azula correctly assumes that there's an occassion, even if Chuck's a little torn on calling it as such. But in the end, he decides, why the heck not? It's his birthday.

Turtle: Happy Birthday, Chuck! Whoo! Jennifer introduces herself to Azula, and Ellie assures her that she's welcome to join the party.


Valentine: And on the fourth floor, we've got Rose watching designers. Hayley admits to not being all up to snuff on this reality TV stuff, but she's probably better off like that, anyway, and Kyle wants to know what all the fuss about the clothes are, anyway. Hayley checks up on how Kyle liked Elvis, while Cal--...I'm sorry, the Facespitter, challenges Rose to find out just how massochistic he is.

...wow. That's...intelligent.

Turtle: See? I told you he was a moron, Val. He talks to Hayley about her kissing Elle, and Worf questions the logic of making clothing out of newspaper. I can't see why. And then he talks with Hayley about how he's not nice. I can't see why. The Facespitter compliments his digestion. I can't---oh, wait, no. I can. It's the prune juice.

Valentine: Hayley and Aravis discussed the difference between beautiful models and unique ones, while Rose tells Andy that she's just waiting for someone to whip out the scissors and stab the competitors. See? This is why I like Rose. She also explains to Aravis that the show is basically a contest of the absurd. She's got a point.



TOWN

Turtle: Mayor Cable and Mr. Deadpool and Jan all had a pancake morning.

...awwwwwwww!

Valentine: There was a party for the re-opening of the lighthouse today, as well, and what's a party without mingling? O'Neill wants Sweets to guess how many times he's saved the universe from aliens.

Turtle: Four.

Valentine: Four?

Turtle: Four. And that's my final answer, Reegis. And, having saved the world from aliens four times, Mr. O'Neill thought himself entitled to food.

Valentine: Well, it is a party. So Sweets talked to Dukes and then Tully gave a speech before setting on the lighthouse light. And now ships will stop running into the rocky bits.

Turtle: Because that happened all the time, too.

Valentine: Arya was doing inventory at Coyote Medicine, and Morgan was doing the same at the hardward store, while Jenny put scarves on sale at Pixie Dust. Dani's trying to get people to save a goat at the Gig...

Turtle: ...save it from what?

Valentine: ...glue?

Turtle: Isn't that horses?

Valentine: Very low quality glue?

Turtle: Hey! Like low quality coffee, like what they probably have at the Trooper Station, since Sheriff Kowalski's trying to get a new machine. Ms. Aldrin still has that awful Snuggy at Strokes of Genuis, and, I'm sorry, I know it isn't nice, especially not now that I'm a pillar of the community as Student Council President, but I hope she gets paint on it. All over it. Completely ruins it. Be doing her a favor.

Valentine: But...it's kind of like a smock now. A warm, fuzzy, free-arm-movement smock.

Turtle: Smocks are awful, too.

Valentine: Turtle didn't stop bouncing around at Cabot and Associates..

Turtle: I was excited!

Valentine: Now why would that be?

Turtle: *a pitch not usually heard by humans* STUCOPRESIDENT.

Valentine: While I kept up a color theme at Japhrodite's.

Turtle:...wait, no visitors?

Valentine: Nope.

Turtle: Awww. No Valentine Wiggin Fan Club today.

Valentine: Nope. They were too busy voting for you, Turtle.

Turtle: Yay!

Valentine: Miss Connell did some laundry at the hotel, Harper got rid of her crutches, and Hurley whistled while he worked.

Turtle: Liir was attempting crochet at Book Haven; Dinah stopped by to ask about music books. And possibly untangle a Liir from his crochet, but the notes don't mention how successful he was with that. Dr. Montgomery was reading bad romance at the Perk, and Alex made her WTF because guess who's totally older in her woooooorld! Love it when those things happen. I'd love to get a Doug Hoo here, and he'd be all, "WTF, Turtle, you were just a thirteen year old shrimp, and now you're a gorgeous business mougal and president of the Student Council! Take me. Take me now."

Valentine: Speaking of bad romances...

Turtle: Shhh. Anyway, Irulan and Dr. Montgomery talked about...what else?...hats, and Ms. Devereaux and Dr. Montgomery talked about how this island makes everyone sound like they're crazycakes.

Valentine: Jonas was down at the beach, where Beka teaches him the difference between oceans and rivers...

Turtle:...seriously?

Valentine: That's what it says.

Turtle: Well, at least he knows what a rock is, since he's been living under one. Or...okay. Helen talks to him about how there's no oceans where she's from, either, so maybe that explains it.

Valentine: Reilly and Day had a date to see the worst movie ever made and Francine had a lecture about designated driving in Support Services. Can't imagine what inspired that.

Turtle: There was the standard food and mingling, where Morgana was giving Arthur Pointed Looks. Capitals and everything. Priestly and Dinah discuss how everyone needs an Alfred...

...that's not dirty, is it?

Valentine: It might be.

Turtle: Eew. Anyway, they discuss saving their friends from themselves, and I wish Val would save me from thinking about what an Alfred might be, but I know she'll only make it worse.

Valentine: This is true.

Turtle: So let's just mention Francine and Morgana's breasts and move on.

Valentine: Marion lost the coin toss at Caritas, which meant she had zombie taping duty, and Miss Murray continued usurping company time to browse the Nets at the clinic.



Turtle: Oh! Wait! We forgot to get our shot of my teddy bear!

Valentine: Well, let's sign off and get it and then head back home.

Turtle: That works! Oh, and thank you everyone again for voting for us! It's very good to know that you still like hearing my voice after all these years.

Valentine: Aw, and here I thought it was me. Good night, everyone...

Turtle: ...and have a prosperous tomorrow!


[[ sorry for the late. There was a great evil darkness at work that kept me late for like ever, omg ]]