Jaina: All right, let's get this over with.

Brooke: Have I not taught you to do an intro?

Jaina: No.

Brooke: The 'hi, this is Brooke, welcome to radio, please don't mind us talking at you for the next few minutes as long as we're funny?'

Jaina: You missed that lesson in the kidnapping me to radio.

Brooke: It wasn't that bad. No one made you show all these weeks.

Jaina: They're called squirrels.

Brooke: ...Good point.


School!

Brooke: Well, there was no school stuff, because lucky you, you're on break! Enjoy the newbieless free week while you can. And everyone is instructed to E-mail me the gossip.

Jaina: ...Why would they E-mail you the gossip?

Brooke: Because I'm nosy.

Jaina: Oh. Makes sense?


Dorms!

Jaina: Alex Karev made himself scarce by going up a whole floor, and if you're looking for stealth, I think you failed at it, what with the squirrels. Effy was given some story about his floor smelling bad and needing to be adventurous. Wonder if that worked. In the fourth floor common room, Rose had doughnut holes and coffee and some show about Mounties, and I'm blaming her for the fact that I'm hungry now. Robin- the frog one- wondered if she'd gone on the Arrakis trip, which she hadn't, and wasn't sure if he'd met Zayne. Zayne was drawn in by the food smell, and got to explain about being a Jedi. Which serves to remind me that I didn't miss having to do that this weekend. Dammit. Rose and Zayne and >Robin all wondered if Hurley was okay, which he's apparently not, thanks to Penelope getting married.

Brooke: Oh, ouch. I'd say only in Fandom, but.... not really.

Jaina: Yeah, tell me about it. And then I got to start my day off by finding out my boyfriend is going to school in super sped-up time.

Brooke: More ouch.

Jaina: Sure.

Brooke: No, really, that sucks. Sorry.

Jaina: ...Thanks. It's okay, though.

Brooke: Good. Ooh, I want to do these. And then people came to see me off, like Hannibal, who better remember me, and Savannah, who brought a present-

Jaina: Uh. Brooke?

Brooke:- and Griff, who totally deserves to meet a nice girl-

Jaina: BROOKE.

Brooke: Yes?

Jaina: ....You're leaving?

Brooke: ...Yeah?

Jaina: Now?

Brooke: After the broadcast?

Jaina: Wait a minute. You signed me up for radio without me knowing about it, and now you're leaving halfway through it?

Brooke: Last week I thought it would be funny, but when you put it that way it sounds kind of bad, and I didn't know the time thing was going to happen...

Jaina: Fandom, please pretend you've heard nothing and listen to this music while I take a short break to kill Brooke.

*first strains of "Girl from Ipanema" play*

Brooke: OKAY, because I think she actually might do it, if I don't contact any of you after this, assume she killed me and buried my body somewhere.

Jaina: Don't give me ideas.

Brooke: I am going to keep talking and as long as I'm on air I'm safe. And then I got a visit from Jess, who I'm totally going to miss and better hear from, and Peyton who I have to love no matter what time or version or whatever you want to call if she's from. Su- Sookie got birthday presents, and happy birthday, Sookie! Griff found out just why Alex was avoiding their floor, Jon O'Neill was chilling after getting back from Arr- that place everyone went, and I hear Arthur got a visit from Merlin. PORN GUY. Oh my god, I can't believe I called him by his actual name.

Jaina: Yeah, we can't have that. That'd be insane.


Town!

Jaina: Over in town, Dani and Vince worked out a business deal, Professor Minsc was in a good mood after getting back from the trip, and Professor Dex found a sofa and coffee table left at his place. ....Hey. You're lucky I'm not claiming those.

Brooke: I'm not asking.

Jaina: I wouldn't tell you anyway.

Brooke: I won't miss you, you know. Samuel was at the clinic even if he missed it last time, oops, Claire was trudging through work even though she was tired, and Rachel Price had her first day manning the MCA lobby. Where she met Robin And her like eight dogs. Eight, Robin? No word on whether Rachel's demanded to keep the security deposit. Tony DiNozzo was goofing off at the trooper station, Katina wasn't a huge fan of the quiet at Strokes of Genius, and Haley: was working on a window display at her store. Awww, I'm going to miss talking about Haley who's not my Haley.

Gwynn was writing a letter at the Gig when she got a hi from Tim, and dear parents of Fandom people: USE SOME DIFFERENT NAMES. We've got Tims and Johns and Jacks and Robins and Rachels and while they're all great names, come on.

Jaina: You've got a point. I know I'm good with having my own name. The towels were hiding from Tyler at the gym, which may mean they went sentient. Not sure. Daisy and Tony D- see, Brooke was right with the names- had a not-date at Ching Tai, and Joan made it to work on time at Covent Garden. Congratulations? Edward was happy to be placing an order, which would make me really suspicious of him. Ino was making a list at Wellspring Arms-

Brooke: Ws she checking it twice?

Jaina: What?

Brooke: How the hell are you still new? Ooh, I'm definitely covering the sex shop stuff.

Jaina: Completely unsurprised here.

Brooke: Shhh. Fiona was the first customer and learned about clothes that attract boys, and see how I'm not commenting?, Jackie Blue and Mary talked about Vegas, and she wasn't too keen on Veronica's name. I don't see anything wrong with it. I mean, it's not my favorite, but it doesn't instill horror. Jackie also tried to play matchmaker for Loki, and Mina was all pissed off at what was being sold. Mina needs to chill out.

Jaina: I'm pretty sure she's from a different time.

Brooke: Did they still do dirty things back then?

Jaina: ...I assume that's how there are people now.

Brooke: Then there you go. And see, Eliza was good with it. Irulan let Jackie try on her hat, and Lacey brought a gift basket and then zoned out. I'm assuming that was for TMI reasons. Dinah told Jackie about her trip, and Angela stopped by, and there was mingling and it seems like a good time. It better still be around for homecoming, is all I'm saying.

Jaina: Jack Priest and Tony Foster talked about their trip over dinner at the steakhouse, Charlotte was freaking out about wedding plans to Tully at the York Gallery-

Brooke: Charlotte! Do you have your dress yet? Give me a call. I have the perfect thing in mind.

Jaina: Are you soliciting via radio?

Brooke: www.clothesoverbros.com.

Jaina: I guess that's a yes. Tully was hanging out shirtless at the lighthouse, which had Rose snarking about his coloring. And at Caritas, it looks like someone bought the place from Jolee. Namely, CHuck Bass.

Brooke: Seriously? And I'm missing it? Give me those, there's not a lot of notes left. Chuck tried to convince Harper that Eric is gay, Serena got a Chuck recommendation to drink less, and again, seriously? She did help out with the whole "Eric is gay" thing, and I really hope I didn't out anyone on the radio who didn't want to be outed. A Tim got a beer, and Irulan opened up her store late, while Jack O'Neill had a new sign in Sharpie. I have no idea what that's supposed to mean, which means it's kind of perfect to end things on.

Brooke: Well, that's it for me, guys! It's been a blast, you're all- well, most of you- are awesome, and I want to keep in touch with everyone even if I'm going to see you at homecoming. It's a long way off. Bye, everyone! Remember, if I don't call anyone, Jaina killed me.

Jaina: Oh, for the love of-