Reno: Yo, Fandom! The faucets ain't runnin' hot chocolate today, but I can forgive the island for that. I think. The pet was gettin' thirsty, zoto. I'm drownin' my sorrow in booze, anyhow. I know. The chocolate was a beautiful thing. But somehow, we'll all have to survive. *chugging sounds*

Jenny: I needed a shower after the chocolate, but I regret none of it.

Reno: Kinda a shame the taps weren't runnin' booze again. Sorta less sticky, dependin' on which delicious poison you get stuck under, yo.

Jenny: At least alcohol has sterilizing properties. And it's better for my waistline. Actually, it's probably not, considering how much of it I drink. Sweet booze. Never leave me.

Reno: There's the one thing in life that ain't never gonna change. Booze. And notes. We got notes? It's Tuesday, I wouldn't be surprised if- sweet mother of Shiva, who let the squirrel report on Caritas, tonight?

Jenny: *extended censor beep*, when did the bar get popular?

Reno: Dammit, Caritas, start carding.

Jenny: I can't believe you said that.

Reno: Meh. I'm legal.

Jenny: So'm I, actually, but that's not the--never mind that, we'll get to the nonsense that is Caritas later, right now it's time for

School, Where You Are Learny Meat

Jenny: In art class, we made sculptures today. First we listened to a lecture, and then we mucked about with clay. Peter drew pictures, because he's counterintuitive like that. Ethics class talked about the Lady or the Tiger, which is less a moral conundrum and more actually about how women are inherently evil, if you think about it. The students listened, and then decided the man's fate in the story, then told Anakin what they'd do in his girlfriend's situation. I thought he was married. Hey, Anakin's wife, he has a girlfriend! Watch out! There were also TAs, but they were less interesting than adultery.

Reno: On an island with relationships as messed up as most of them around here, I'd be surprised if we could find anything more interesting than adultery. Makes for good gossip, yo. Home Ec, for example, was watchin' movies about measuring clothing. That's easy, guys. Look at the freakin' tag. Students blinked, and then measured each other. Again. Tag. Intro Superhuman physics talked about walkin' through walls, which would probably hurt. Walls are generally pretty solid, yo. There was a lecture, in which Gavin and Ben talked about... Balancetration. I think the squirrels are makin' up words now just to see if I'll read 'em. And then there was a discussion. Francine and Teddy talked about costumes, which are apparently important to this whole superhero gig? Makes no sense to me, why the people who save the world gotta dress like figure skaters.

Jenny: Recognizability. What I don't get is why we couldn't get Apollo a costume that wouldn't get ripped off in the first...uh. Hunting 101 researched old stories, and Blysse told the teacher she can't read. How did she get to high school, one wonders. In the library, Anemone read, as one does, until the felt Robin came in looking for books on mixing music. They have books about that? And in office hours news, Miss Bennet and Ghanima should have gotten together, as one had ginger snaps and the other had cocoa.

Reno: ... I gotta finish proofreadin' that paper for Miss Bennet's class, too. Daaaamn, I'm not sober enough for this. *chugging*

Dorms, Where You Are Livey Meat

Reno: Savannah got a phone call that didn't make her too happy, today. Apparently, Johnny didn't like it any more'n she did. So I'm guessin' she might not already be a winner, or whatever. In the fourth floor common room, Cal got... sucked... into the Yule Log. I don't know what a Yule Log is. Now I'm thinkin' I don't wanna know, if they can suck you in. Mac came into the common room, and talked to Cal-in-the-log about bein' total failures in the department of bein' around people. And Claire stopped in, too, to talk to Cal about the book he was readin', yo. I... gotta say, Cal, if you can read a book from inside a friggin' log, you're a better man than me. Ender, who was not in a log because he was on the roof instead, got all serious talkin' at Karal, yo.

Town, Where You Are Talky Meat and Drinky Meat and Singy Meat, Dammit

Jenny: Adam opened up the comic shop today, and Max and Sam came in looking for evildoers. Try the merchandise. Jack watched the yule log on multiple screens, because...he's Jack, and Jan got told by Apu at Turtle and Canary. Loki did laundry and flirted with Daisy. Hinata opened up Book Haven, while Lion-o was feeling sorry for himself at Cafe Fina and Ino started looking for seasonal plants at Covent Garden. At Atlas Gym, Sarah and Lindsay worked out and chatted, and at Wellspring Arms, Temari was also drawn in by the yule log. Jamie wondered what was so interesting on TV. At the hotel, Mary found Gunther mesmerized by the yule log--it's a log, people. On fire. On TV. Honestly. Coyote set a booby trap at his shop, his prerogative, and at the Boards rehearsals were moved to Thursday. I'm Jenny Sparks and I approve this action.

Reno: And don't come back! *chugging* Woo! Okay, movin' on, Aravis opened up the Gig, which didn't have cocoa until Ben showed up to give her some. Awww. Pepper whose name is still weird opened up Stark Industries, and did some research about tenant rights or somethin'. Where I'm from, you got the right to get the hell out if someone don't want you there. That's... about it, yo. Tony suggested that Pepper move in with him, because he's got no morals and I approve, and Lindsay asked her about wierd things around town, which probably took a while because this is Fandom, and then they talked about the cops. Hey! I'm kinda a cop now! Sorta! I work for Sam and Max, who opened up the HQ today, and talked about old times and new. Then their first customer, Sarah, stopped in, to talk security around the comic book place some more. This is a warnin' to all you pimply little fanboys out there. Android's Dungeon is my jurisdiction, kids, and I got a stun baton.

Jenny: At the clinic, Harley was hardly working, and then there's the *extended censor beep* bar. Chuck was working this evening because Marshall wanted to watch the...karaoke contest. That's what all this is about?

*pause, glugging sounds*

Jenny: I hate you all. Hannibal wanted to know why Chuck was cranky, then, because he has no sense, tried to get the cranky bartender to give him free drinks. That's how drinks get spit in. Teddy chatted with Hannibal about how they weren't singing, and then Robin asked Teddy if he was going to sing. Didn't I just say? Chuck wished Daisy good luck, and she in turn asked Deadpool if his pajamas were comfortable. Nice. Robin asked Daisy if she would be singing, and they wished each other good luck, so I assume the answer was yes. Amber and Chuck were awkward until he offered her free drinks. That's one way to do it. Angela and Amber compared drinks, the difference being, Amber's was free, and Angela wondered if Chuck actually worked there. Who cares, he's behind the bar. Chuck gave Savannah a vodka and cranberry, and she told Johnny her song was cheesy and about him. Of course it is.

Reno: Teddy decided to try some rat piss to see if he'd like it-- *Chittering* -- Yeah, yeah. Teddy tried beer. And he didn't like it. So he got scotch, instead, yo. Chad noticed the beer when they kissed, too. Poor Chad. Should'a made him drink some tequila first, yo. Ronan then went and ordered Teddy a Guinness, because the kid apparently ain't had too much beer already. Deadpool wanted a girly drink, and Rikku bounced- she's good at that- and told him she was gonna sing. Chuck pushed Tino on Robin, who got himself a girly wussy drink, and Doji told Chuck that you can't be Japanese without knowin' how to karaoke. So everyone on the island was Japanese today, yo. Rikku and Doji talked about that which made everyone Japanese, and Chuck was told by Ronan that he should just work there, because business would get better. Rikku and Robin talked about nerves before turnin' Japanese, and then Rikku tried to make Chuck Japanese, too. Ella had the same idea about that, yo.

Jenny: Rikku bounced, because that's what Rikku does, and asked Ella if she would sing. After the contest, Agnes--oh, she's my roommate, hi, roommate--got a hot toddy. But I'm getting ahead of myself, because it is time for a *censor beep*ing karaoke contest, and nobody's even drunk yet. First, people talked to Chad and signed up, and then there was singing. Among those going in for voluntary publich humiliation were Savannah, Penelope, Daisy, Sokka, Amber, Naomi, Robin, Rikku, Dojima, Ronan, and Ella. Then came the performances. Mike heckled Sokka, but Rikku cheered him on, because she is too kind. Savannah was cheered on by Johnny and Angela, and Dojima cheered for Rikku, who returned the favor when Dojima sang.

Reno: Rikku, Dojima, Agnes, Deadpool and Ella sang together, because they probably wanna see if I can pull off readin' five names at once with this much booze in me, and Ronan wanted to know what it'd take to get Tony up onstage. Then, go figure there was a judgin' panel, it was time to figure out who won. Can we get a drumroll, here? *Rimshot sound!* .... Close enough. Agnes got tips from Chad, and Chad thanked Mike for coming along. Nice of him. The judges talked about Sokkaboom, Shavannah, Penepole, Ammmber, Daishy, Frog, Naoooomi, Rikku, Doji, Ronan, and EllaEllaElla, and there was probably a winner, but I'm feelin' like a drunken, vindictive jerk tonight, so you losers at home don't get to find out who, yo. Also, carding. Somethin' to look into, Caritas.

Jenny: Maybe they should...is that it? Are we done? Oh thank God.

Reno: Gonna tape everyone to the wall next Tuesday. An' the squirrels too. Yep.

Jenny: They'll just chew through the tape...the squirrels, I mean. Prob'ly some of the people, too.

Reno: Staples, then. We're done? We are done. Good. *more chugging* So's my rum. Let's blow this joint, yo.

Jenny: Let's. Good night, Fandom! Keep it real! And drunk! Real drunk!