Good evening, fellow Fandomites! Man, it seems like forever since I've said that! I guess that can happen when you're stuck as a turtle, but that Adah girl did a...um, well. It was nice of her to cover, that's all I'll say.
In the important news, Jeff? Is still a rock and hidden in a bag where no one can see him, safely beside me at the studio here because, trust me. Not something you want to randomly happen across, thinking, "Oh, a bag. I wonder what could--OH GOOD LORD WHAT IS THAT? I CANNOT UNSEE IT!!!"

That's bad.


What's not bad, though, is news. So let's get to it.



SCHOOL

As typical, Karal opened the library today, and, just as typical, Liir brought lunch. And, at the office, everyone bickers about what day it is. If you ask me, I smell moose tracks all over that one. Shifty moose is shifty.


The last week of workshops inevitably means either an easy day or a hard one.
Living on your Own? Easy day. They watched a movie. Before the movie, though, they got to chat and stuff a bit. A sulking Ino passed notes with Anemone, and then Ichigo threw an eraser at Ino, which is very mature, lemme tell you, just like telling her that she's got the hots for Tyler because she was sulking and he wasn't there.

*long pause*

Well, I don't think I can technically blame here there, all things considered. MOVING ON, the notes also mentioned that they so totally flirted, ohemgee. Katchoo was concerned about Francine's big bruise, which happened to have come from a ball she said.

Summer Fitness played Ultimate Frisbee with water balloons, which is, I think, in the easy category, which is good, because that class could have really gone the other way bad.

Surviving Mad Science answered how to escape an unruly, pitch-fork weilding mob, which is not easy, but it is still quite useful, and Gavin was there to TA, naturally. Sans pitchfork.

Roving the Galaxy met in the TARDIS today...easy so far...they then took off to the marketplace of Jahoo before coming back. I'm...actually not sure if that was easy or hard, but it is a marketplace, so I APPROVE.


CABINS!

Public Service Announcement time! The buttcrack of dawn is too early to read letters! Karal proved this by doing just that and then brilliantly dropping it. Bravo. Hope it doesn't hid your most dastardly secrets within! Actually, I don't think he needs to worry about squirrels picking it up because otherwise I'd know what it said. But he should probably consider himself lucky.

Then Ino read an anatomy text book, which she didn't drop, but had to be super boring. Apparently, though, books are boring and letters are not, because Hinata showed up with a letter from Ino's dad telling her to come home and she was all, "UH UH NO WAY" followed by things that, really? No one should say about their dad's, no matter how long they make you sit there and finish your dinner or have crazy exgirlfriends coming back trying to kill you.

*pause*

Um, anyway, in other daddy issues, Liir also showed up to flail at Ino about what he should make his father for dinner, and Ino's pretty sure she won't be seeing Liir much as he'll be glued to his father's side. Not literally, I hope, but you can never tell around here.

Then, Peter was watching boys in speedos over at Huggable Kitten, and I would say that it was okay because it's the Olympics and it's important to support America and everything, but there was pornographic text messages, too, I hear, in which case, um, ew. Sorry.

ANYWAY, Gladys' bags are packed; she's ready to go. She's standing there outside Merry Mousling's door. Jaina might have hated to wake her up to say goodbye.

...only it was afternoon, so there better not have been any waking up, because that is lazy. Anyway, Friday came around...on Friday! GET IT? And gave Gladys a boring book. Apparently, she might need a good doorstop at her next destination.

Over at Elegant Emu, Helen is not such an elegant emu as she struggles to make s'mores. ...Seriously? I mean, really? Seriously? Wow. Anyway Viki suddenly shows up...and I do mean suddenly...and talks about warrior ducks. Which confuse Helen, which isn't a surprise, since, apparently, s'mores, of all things, confuse her, too.


TOWN

The notes appear a little out of order; I have this evening's townie notes first, where Jaina and John try to relax at the new onsen, and, apparantly, Chuck and Amber are about to get it on in the abandon-- AMBER! That is absolutely no place for a respectable Turtle & Canary employee to lose her virginity! AT ALL! I have nev--

*sudden, strange, almost unidentifiable sound*

*really long pause, in which one might be able to hear Turtle's blinking if they were paying particular attention*

...Jeff?

Jeff: You know, considering the frequency of animal transformations in Fandom, I have to admit that being a rock is restful on a whole new level.

Turtle: ...you....are not a rock at the moment.

*another long pause*

You are also naked. Oh god. Oh god, OHGODGODGOD.

Jeff: ...Oh my god.

*sound of desperately rustling notes being squashed against a crotch*

I'M SORRY! I WAS JUST TALKING TO MYSELF! I didn't mean to be naked!

Turtle: ...I KNOW! It's okay! It's...uh...um...

Jeff: ... Instantaneous nudity. I can't plan for that! Oh my god! THIS IS THE WORST-- *pause* I've got a bag on my head.

Turtle: *loooooooong pause* I'm sorry, what? Your he-- JEFF! Of course I wasn't thinking about...about...err...

Jeff: ...Bags?

Turtle: *clears throat* Er, um, yes. Bags. That's absolutely, positively, without a doubt exactly what I was thinking. Bags. Um...Notes! Radio! That's right! I'm doing radio right now, and I'm certainly not thinking about the fact that my boyfriend is sitting here next to me, completely naked, save for a bag on his head.

...his TOP head. Um. Notes. Where was I? Um, school. No, did school. Dorms, did dorms. Um, townies. Townies, who's got...

...Jeff? Um. The notes for townies are, uh, kind of covering your crotch right now...

Jeff: Oh. Right. Yes. Um. I'll-- Yes.

Er. Yes. Er.

Um. I'll just--

Turtle: Can you see them from there? Um, I mean, enough to, er...read them?

Jeff: ...Yeah... I'll, er. Manage.

Turtle: ...err, good! *nervous, surprisingly girly giggle* It'll, uh, you know...be just like the old times! Except for the fact that you're...you know...naked.

Jeff: ... ... ...

...

Oh. Right.

Constable Fraser is at the community process overseeing... a thing. I imagine he had his hat. And was not naked. Union River had her knives over at the Arms Hotel and I really hope she wasn't saving those for someone 'cos she's leaving and Mary drops her off a present of some sort. Which I imagine wouldn't be knives, 'cos she's got loads of those.

Turtle:....Jeff! Um, the notes? Um, they're moving a lot. Could you, you know...not...?

Jeff: ... Well, I can't promise anything. Gabriel's at the church as is, er, normal, and no rocks turned into people or anything. Leer's also not got any rocks or anything but he does indulge in a spot of fainting 'cos his father showed up. I'm sorry. Don't you find they're always leaving when your mother's got this idea stuck in her head about cleaning out your room and she hangs her magazines all about the place--

Turtle: Jeff, no one needs to hear aboout your mother.

Jeff: And she'd say, "Oh, Jeffrey..."

Turtle: ....Jeff!

Jeff: 'Oh, Jeffrey.'

Turtle: JEFF! SNAP OUT OF IT!

Jeff: ... What? Oh! Um. Links! Sorry, am I jostling-- Er. Never mind that. Yes! ...and we have Jen at, er, Pizza Planet, there's a bit of a draft in here. Jenny's smoing at Pixie Dust and Barney's got a nap going at Atlas Gym. I'd like a nap right now. Can I go have a nap--? ...squirrel says no. Logan's joining the whole parade of people leaving which I guess is becoming a bit of a thing and can he take me with him--? Or maybe not. Barney's got the gym now, maybe he's got some pants. Can I-- Ow. I'll take that as a no, then. Kaylee has some cookbooks at, er, Stark Industries, and Rikku - hi naked Rikku I'm now a bit more naked than you are - is opening up that really scary place with all the plants in town.

Turtle: ...Wait. She was naked when she opened? Seriously?

Jeff: No, she was naked when we did radio that one time! I called her. I think she was doing the squelchy at the--

Turtle: RIGHT! Okay. Yes, yes, I remember, that's enough. Oh, man. Well. *snort* I guess it's your turn now...

Jeff: I don't think I enjoy being naked, Turtle... ... Look! There's dancing zombies! That's a good thing to focus on, dancing zombies. No further rocks. The dancing bit seems popular, though, with Chuck and Amber doing it at Caritas and everything, I hope they were properly choreographed. Ronan was at the clinic but that's not important because oh my god, there were actual nurses this time! Turtle, can I borrow some pants now 'cos it really is getting drafty and I think my boys are suffering some issues.


Turtle: *long pause* I...don't really have any pants you can borrow. Um, but it's...it's dark, Jeff, and that's the last of the notes, ri-- NO! No! Don't move them! I ... I think we can take them with us. Um, come on. We'll...take the back way to the cabins. Um...Yeah. Um...and we'll get you pants there, right? Okay. Let's...go.




Oh! And good night, Fandom, and have a prosperous tomorrow.

I...wonder if I might. *COUGH*

*click*


[[ We're drunk. Well, I know I am; I can't speak for my amazing guest tonight, but I can touch her if I wanna. Mwa ha ha. ]]