Reno: Yooooo, Faaaaaandom! This has been the best freakin' day ever except for those days that were better and did I mention today was really freakin' awesome? Because it was, yoto.

Jenny: Hello Fandom High, and I really must concur, today has been smashing. I showered in beer people, so for once when people said I smelled like I'd been soaked in booze they were completely right! How crazy is that?

Reno: Craaaazy.

Mako: Honk!

Reno: Oooh. Haaaay. The ferret. Go play with the rodents, dude. So! Drunkenness. We got that! A lot! And it was totally freakin' free and I hope you all got spare bottles of that stuff, because this is Fandom and it ain't gonna last forever. If you didn't, then go, run, quick. Get a bottle an' fill it with tapwaterbooze and we'll totally wait. Pass the time by drinkin'. And... go!

*chugging sounds*

Reno: Time's up, yo!

Jenny: I certainly filled every container I could get my hands on with tap rum, and if you didn't, well, you're a loser. Reno. You brought the ferret? And my day was going so well.

Reno: Ah, you don't gotta deal with him. See, he's already playin' with the squirrels. Totally dealt with.

*Agitated chittering*

Reno: Best pet ever, zoto. We got notes?

Jenny: Poor squirrels. We got notes. Here. I need more rum.

Schhhhooooooooooool!

Reno: In Basic Auto Mechanics, there was, like, some oil changin' or whatever. There was demonstrating, and Inara watched, and Romeo was all, "It ain't so bad, yo," only not like that, because he's all flowery or whatever when he talks, an' [[Censor beep!]]. And then Inara and Romeo changed the oil, because maybe nobody else felt like it or whatever, yo. And Underwater Basketweaving did weaving basket things, maybe because underwater would mean gettin' drunk in class and that's against the rules or whatever, I dunno? Harry and Chris were both surprised by this, for whatever reason, and Sokka talked to Bender because robots are awesome or somethin'? I ain't seen a robot since back on Gaia. They were kinda cool, yep. And then people all sucked at basketweavin'. Woo!

Jenny: Woo indeed, my freaky ferret-owning friend. Woo indeed. How Not To Get Killed had an obstacle course today, an excellent choice for a day when much of the class is likely to be drunk through no fault of their own. Of course, I can do a field sobriety test with a blood alcohol level that would kill an ordinary person, so what do I know really? The students gawked at the course, which had a gorilla--what, seriously?--and then had to climb up to the gorilla to get the treasure. Which was apparently cake. Mmmm cake. The cake was not a lie! The Right Tools played Hide and Seek in a maze, in pairs, and River was their TA as per usual. Do I really have to say who's the TA every week?

*chitter*

Jenny: If you're saying if I want to get paid, I have three gallons of rum in my dorm room right now.

Reno: Heeeeey, yeah. We totally don't gotta be here today. Not if we're jus' gettin' paid in tapwater or whatever anyhow. You got somethin' better, squirrels?

*Acorn thump*

Reno: Owwwww. That's a good argument, yo. So. Enjoyin' Those Teenage Years learned about gambling, which makes me wonder why the [[Censor beep!]] I didn't take that class. There were handouts for anyone who's been livin' a sheltered life, and there was Craps and Blackjack and Caribbean Stud! Daaamn, what a class! Oh, and there was poker an' stuff, too, but probably not strip, but if it was I should'a totally crashed that class today, but I didn't dammit. Huh. Oh, and Brooke was there. And Ammenoneee was in the Library in a good mood or whatever, and she played hotspotch with Ella, but Adah was all not thrilled with that or whatever. Spoilsport.

Jenny: The Mountie did a bit of light reading during his office hours, while Nathan Petrelli worked on some notes during his, and Ghanima worked on lesson plans during hers. The teachers at this school are squares. HELLO, the taps ran with liquor today! Get your party on!

Dorms, Where the Taps Ran With Sweet, Sweet Booze

Jenny: Maybe you sorry [[censor bleep]]s were more fun in the dorms. God knows I was. Wait, no he doesn't. Anyway, Dawn started off the day with shower rum, then lounged on the deck in a bathing suit. Meg also had shower rum, and discussed the merits of rum versus vodka with Dawn. Hey, whatever gets you there, and that's more like it! Go teenagers! John said they didn't need music, but Dawn disagreed, and said they needed cabana boys while she was at it, because everything is better with cabana boys. John can be a cabana boy! Then everyone's happy. Except possibly John. Chad checked up on John and brought his guitar, and Dawn marveled at his tallness, possibly because he's quite tall, possibly because she was just drunk. The world may never know. Okay, no, he really is quite tall. And I'm going to hand it over to my cohost now, because I'm at the babbling stage of alcohol consumption.

Reno: What, and I ain't? I totally am, yo. Gonna get all... wordy an' [[Censor beep!]]. Yep. Sokka the lightweight totally passed out in the shower, yo. Boom! He's one of them sniggly drunks who got all "I love you!" at Jeff and at the floor and at the showerhead and at everything, and I ain't surprised at all. Nooope. An' he gave Rodney trauma and maybe he loves him too? The world may never know. My cohost had a shower! And I hear she wasn't bothered by the problem with the plumbing, neither! Ain't that right, Jenny? Best showers ever?

Jenny: I showered in ale. Now I'm kind of jealous I didn't get the rum shower; it practically would have fulfilled a lifelong dream of mine. But I will settle for ale. I hear it's great for your hair, anyway. On the roof this evening, Ino was practicing with her flying...stick right whatever. Romeo came up to discuss its weight capacity. Oh, Romeo, never ask a woman about her weight. My cohost, shock of shocks, loved the rum! And also got a visit from Romeo! Would you like to tell us about that, cohost?

Reno: We were soooooo drunk. Heh. Not unlike right now, yo. And elsewhere, Adah tried to lick rum offa Lee, but apparently that didn't make it taste any better. Or him? One or the other, the notes ain't all clear on that. Jaina got news from home and - Oh, hey! The squirrels just handed me another glass of rum. Sweeet. Best freakin' rodents ever, yo. Maybe it's a bribe to keep the ferret from eatin' 'em. Yo, Dumbass!

Mako: Honk!

Reno: ... Awww. Best ever. So, Kevin and Toby were talkin' about love juice which is probably dirty, and then they broke up and Toby cried and do I gotta kick Kevin's [[Censor beep!]] for you, lil'bro? Because I can. Probably. When I'm more sober or somethin'? And John was all drunk and napping when Jaina demonstrated her awesome timing by comin' in to tell him about a mission or somethin'. Woo!

Town, Where the Taps Also Ran With Sweet, Sweet Booze

Jenny: I admire your enthusiasm. Let's see, in town today, Jack opened the Photo Hut, no shocker there, Romeo opened Pixie Dust, the owner of which is so going to fire me. Tipsy Rikku came in to giggle with Romeo about the alcohol coming from the faucets. Lana opened Book Haven. Geoffrey was at The Boards for rehearsal with posters for the play. Oh, good! I knew once they got it cast it had to actually happen sometime. They did a runthrough of the play and admired the posters, and Amber...was offstage when she wasn't on, right, the squirrels have clearly been at the tap booze, too. That's fine. I do not judge. Alice opened Groovy Tunes, and at Caritas all rum-based drinks were free tonight, as to do otherwise would be tacky. And Toby came in to cry about breaking up with his boyfriend. Again.

*Clop-clop-clopping sounds*

Reno: Seriously, man, I'll kick his [[Censor Beep!]] for you, you jus' say the word, and I'll be all up in the-- Rum. Must'a had too much of it. Because I think there's a horse eatin' my hair. But I could be wrong. Am I wrong, Jenny?

Jenny: I'm hallucinating a horse in the studio what was in this rum??? No. No, wait. The horse is real. What the [[extended censor bleep]]?

Reno: ... Well. Okay. So long as I'm not seein' things or whatever. Uh. Maybe by the time I'm done with notes, he'll be done... eatin' my hair. Uh. Kerrigan bought Roy a -heh, that tickles- an. Heh. An ice-cream, and Lacey drunk dialed people and turned into a singin' trout. That'll teach her, yo. And Igor took apart his machine, Vice Principal Jones stopped by Tony Stark's to look at his echings, and Charlotte woke up to rum comin' from the pipes, and Barney and Vala went off in search of bingo and is the horse still there?

Trenor: *Snort!*

Reno: .... Eugh.

Jenny: The horse is still here. But the important question here is, why is the horse still here?

Reno: Maybe he wanted rum, too? We got plenty, yo!

Mako: Honk!

Reno: Or maybe the squirrels let 'im in to fend off the ferret. WE MAY NEVER KNOW.

Jenny: Bet you a nickel it was the second one.

Reno: Nickels are the ones that ain't pennies, right?

Jenny: Yes. You don't know the currency yet? This is tragic.

Reno: Company charge card. Freakin' awesome. Converts Gil to the American dollar and who cares about the rest anyhow, right?

Jenny: As long as you can buy booze. OH WAIT we don't have to.

Reno: Best day ever!

Trenor: *Snort!!*

Mako: Honk!

Reno: For the most part! We done?

Jenny: We're done! Let's go get more tap rum! And get the horse out of here, I suppose.

Reno: I approooooove. Bye, Fandom! Bye, horse!



[Thanks go to vkandis_son for letting us borrow the horse!]