Good evening, fellow Fandomi--

*THUNK; sudden blaring music, and excited chittering*

*loudly* HEY! OI! Quit that out! I'm trying to do a broadcast here! Yes, the dancing lemurs were cool, but, one, you're not lemurs and two, I'm trying to work he--

*music cuts out* Thank you. Seriously, just drop off your notes and go back if you want. Or pretend there's music, because I have to talk. Okay, right. Where was I? Right. Good evening, fellow Fandomites! It's Turtle Wexler, as always, here to bring you the news on this lovely June twen--

*blaring music*



AW CRAP! I've just been rick rolled! BY SQUIRRELS!

On the bright side, it can't get any worse, because I've just yanked out the cord for the equipment to play music. HA. Take that. Radio is serious business, okay?!? Let's get to the notes.

SCHOOL

Uh-oh! Lois, Friday (apparantly, it's not his day after all, har-har), John with the hair, Jaina, Cal, Ino, and, very disappointingly, my little sister Kaylee all have detention tomorrow, where they're expected to bring their own tea, which means it will probably be a very British detention. And the computer mouses...mice?...come alive at the office, which I assume scared off the moose, as there's no mention of him.

DORMS

At the shooting range today, Romeo waited for Ino and they shoot stuff. Like you do. They also talk about the past and things like that and some weird meditation thing that I'm sure they can put to use in the Meditation Center where Ino works and Worf lives. In good news, Ron is no longer a teddy bear; however, when he and Mac kiss again, she turns into something else, namely a guinea pig. Now that's rough luck if I've ever heard it. Johnny gets ready to go out for a motorcycle ride and Savannah comes by to pick up her puppy and they have a slightly awkward talk about her work or something.

Liir stays in his room to do more reading because he apparently didn't do enough at work, but I'll get to that later. Andrew enjoys some reading while under house arrest...or dorm room arrest, I guess, and Seregil with the giant name brings him food. Good to know he won't starve to death. Since Dawn brought him hot chocolate, he won't die of thirst either. Alice also checked up on Andrew, but he's just worried she'll beat him up. Well, she is Bad Alice, but probably not that bad. A large, insanely fluffy bunny presumed to be John with the hair is curled up in Jaina's bed, and Inara is highly amused by his snoring, up until the point where she goes to pick stuff out of his hair and he turns back into regular John with the hair, but without clothes. WHOOPS. Evey got a visit from that cat of Karal's, who announced that Karal's back, and she hurries to go see him. Great. Karal, you stay away from my boyfriend, because I don't need him disappearing for a week and then randomly showing up in some hallway covered in caramel this time, okay? And while Karal arrives, Amber gets ready to leave, with G'Kar as a kitty coming along with her. I'm....really not sure how to feel about that on terms of legal fraternization limits...

In other employee news, Sokka enjoys the benefits reaped from the Rent-a-Puppy program that way too many of you seriously missed out on, and Rodney comments on how Sokka seems to be starting a fluffy rodent menagerie, which he's not really sure is a good idea. Trust me, Rodney. It is. SUCH a good idea. In non-employee news, Lana tried to get some sleep, but had some really, really bad dreams, or so I can assume, that kept her up. Eeesh; feel better, Lana. And then Lucas read, too, and you all should start a book club.


TOWN

*cough*

Robin Not-a-Frog asks her boyfriend if her dress makes her look fat. You will never catch me asking Jeff that question because I'm pretty sure it will make his head go BOOM. Constable Fraser continues to prove to be very smart by answering with a 'no.' Not that I'm saying, of course, that he would answer anything different, Miss Scherbatsky, really! Mister Tennant threw his notebook against the wall and drank a lot, which does not seem a very productive evening at all. Unless the goal was to throw notebooks and drink scotch, in which case, well done, Mister Tennant. Miss Mizrahi seemed much more productive as she got a phone call, considering she kept writing in her notebook instead of just tossing it at a wall.

Over at the Wellspring Arms and Meditation Center, Rikku was having a very good and bouncy day, but, then again, we're not surprised, seeing as it's Rikku. Romeo wants to know if she's allowed to sell bullets. If not, then I kind of wonder how Mister Cable makes any money running a weapons shop if he doesn't let his employees sell things. And it turns out that Ella is moving in with Rikku, which is awesome, because it's new roommates for everyone! Yay! Well, not everyone, but I still feel bad leaving Ella roommateless, and this fixes that! Woo-hoo! They talk about Romeo's trip to Japan too. Jen tried to pretend to not be mopey at Pizza Planet, and my little sister Kaylee seems to have tinkered herself into boredom at Stark Industries; Lucas stops in and gets her name wrong but still expects her to fix the ball polisher the he-- the what? Anyway, since she's cool like that, she still probably fixes it, even if he got her name wrong. At the beach, Savannah works on crazy magic stuff to hurt poor and innocent rocks; Eve shows up and is all, "ZO-EM-GEE What are you doing to those rocks!?!" Only maybe not that...um, specific. Meanwhile, Miss Lehane has Miss Atreides and Miss Montoya over to show off her new strip-- Okay, I am so not reading that, ohmygod.

River keeps a doctor away by eating an apple today at the Arms Hotel...see what I did there? Meanwhile, Mister Gabriel had yummy doughnuts and disgusting coffee at the church; that's what I call a meeting of good and evil! Former roommate Ella prepped for later dancing, maybe? at Luke's Diner, and she wishes she spoke cat for the cat that came in. Hopefully not dragging anything. Savannah was having a red-rimmed eye, cry-y day at Nast Sporting Goods and Liir, as mentioned earlier, read at Book Haven and Eve seemed a little headachy at the York Gallery. Good thing she works somewhere quite, then, right?

Mister Bindo is hiring over at Caritas; Miss York and Agent Cooper, who is a bunny, come in and talk with Mister Bindo about Agent Cooper's current rabbit state. And Mister Igor was most certainly punctual for his day shift at the clinic.

Also, there was this insane but awesome dancing lemur party in park; seriously, those lemurs know how to throw a party, and, AS SUCH, certain SQUIRRELS should stop trying to IMITATE them and just gee-tee-eff-oh. People mingled, like you do, and River gets all mad at Lee for laughing at her having been a sheep; I can't say I blame her. That sort of thing happens to everyone, you know, Lee, and laughing at it just means that next time it happens to you, it'll be especially bad. They call that karma. Ino and Lana make plans for a sleepover, which, oooh, those are fun! And Romeo and Sokka caught up with each other. Amber talks to a kitty cat and Chad told Hinata that the lemurs were worth skipping work for, and I'm going to have to respectfully disagree, although, really, I'm not surprised that Chad is skipping work, really...Lots of people got food, and Ino and Ned swapped stories about last weekend and talked about the fact that Worf is a kitty. See, Lee? Happens to everyone. Ino also talked with Cal about how the lemurs were, quote, "funny word-I-won't-say-on-radio" and she tried to get him to dance and he was all 'no way, Jose,' except that he was talking to Ino, not Jose. We don't even have a Jose. And, finally, a party of dancing lemurs isn't a party without people dancing, like Romeo and River, who were also alliterative. Sokka complimented my boyfriend's...um...creative choreographed dancing, and Ino gets Michael to dance. Meanwhile, Lana toasted the squirrel's picking up the party fever. So it's her fault!!!!

Finally, King Julian graced us with his presence and phenomenal lemur dancing skillz. Yes. With a 'z.' That is, until Sokka takes the coolness down several notches by joining in.

...Kidding, Sokka! Really!



I've reached the end of my notes, and just in the nick of time because the squirrels just found the co--

**sudden music*

YOU ARE EVIL! EVIL! I'm getting out of here. Good night! And have a prosperous tomorrow!