Good morning, everyone, and a warm welcome to our newcomers, if they have learned about the radio yet. It took me a while, myself. I am Miss Lydia Bennet, and this is Fandom Radio, the program where we report all the gossip the squirrels see fit to scribble down. You will get used to it, I wish to assure you.

Let's see...I've no notes for the school, of course, as the break continued, nor have I any for the dorms, the porg is sad, nothing new there...I do assure you we do things in the dormitory, of course, but speaking for myself, I do value my privacy. We do, however, have some notes for the town, so let's see what people were up to yesterday, hmm?

At the Trooper Station, Detective Watts was dealing with a rash of thefts--watch out for those wily lawn gnomes, apparently--and was joined by Mr. Grant for luncheon. Over on Serendipity Place, some of our new arrivals, the Solo-Fels, settled in, with Dean Skywalker arriving to greet them and Mrs. Solo-Fel telling him about the...assassination attempts...that preceded their arrival. Well! Some people do lead such interesting lives, don't they? Goodness. At Plant Parenthood, Miss Zarrin was making plans for the summer, whilst at Turtle & Canary there was a celebration of buttons underway, and Mr. Argentum objected to being made to do math. A quite reasonable objection, if you ask me. And finally, Mr. Barnes was at The Perk, mulling over some news from home.

Those are all of my notes, and now I am off to the welcome picnic. You will get used to the squirrels spying upon you in due time, dear listeners, or you may do what I do and place wards upon your room. The choice is yours! Until next week, farewell!