Both: 🎵 ~Troy and Astrid in the mooorn~ing~~ 🎵

Troy: ...and we're back! Let's give another shout-out to the squirrels who came in to model all the fresh new looks for the 2021 school year, which apparently include tiger stripes and lizard scales, because that's right, folks, today marks the last day of the first week of a brand new semester! That means new classes, new students, new friendships, and, dare we say it?, new romance surely on the horizon! How are we looking, Astrid?

Astrid: I'd say we're looking pretty good, Troy. Over at ~the School~, all my classes except for one are on Thursdays, so I actually have an inside scoop on how all of them went. We started out with A Traveler's Guide to Hyrule, where Sidon had us talk about where we're from a little bit first. In Bardic Inspiration, one of our teachers wondered if he wasn't kissable enough while the rest of us did introductions, and in World Mythology, we talked about what defined a myth and some of our favorites.


We actually have notes for ~the Dorms~ today, too! Alara got in a workout early in the morning down at the gym, and Alexis was in the second floor common room decorating for Christmas--

Troy: NO. No Christmas. It's only September, what is this, some kind of yuletide epidemic?

*huff*

Don't worry. We'll get to it. Sorry, Astrid. Continue.

Astrid: ....riight, um, so, Alexis was decorating the common room for Christmas, clearly someone's a little hurt that it didn't involve a Christmas Troy, and at least Tahani is on Troy's side here in pointing out that it is definitely not only twenty-three days until Christmas as Alexis seemed to have thought. Belle had questions about Christmas, but Alexis was glad to fill her in on the concept of Santa and slutty elves.

Troy: ....okay, the slutty elves this is new, Christmas makes no sense, you guys, and also, it's September, I hate having dorm notes now, let's just move on to ~the Town~!

*clears throat*

Over in ~the Town~, the mayor was feeling a little pink over at the town hall, and Duke was dealing with crab-claw-knife-fights over at the diner. Lucifer was appreciating an elaborate concoction over at the Perk, where he thought a goose was high and shouldn't become a hippie. He was full of advice yesterday, that Lucifer, because he also explained to Cait that tipping over ridiculous concoctions is bad, but tipping your barista is good! Eliot just wondered if the lattes were as extravagant before introducting himself and mentioning that he has been 'informed of whimsy' but he has not, apparently, been informed of Maryland. He also met Cait and explained he and his friend would probably be on their way soon, which the squirrels seem to think is very funny, but also, they're drunks. So.

Kitty was spreading the word of Jeff, God of Biscuits to Aphra, which ended in a pie fight, as you might...expect? Man, and people say my religion is weird, but I will admit, it could definitely use more pies.

And there. See! This is what I'm talking about. My shift at Groovy Tunes, interrupted by my boss trying to decorate for Christmas in September, because it's an epidemic, and I will lock myself in my room until the holiday spirit is over, that stuff is not cool.

Astrid: ....I think you'll be fine, but let's keep everyone posted on any suspicious Christmas-related activity. Meanwhile, to close us out for the morning, Ignis had his class about cooking over at the community center last night, where he taught everyone how to make pasta, and Eric has now added *beep*less chaps to the Leather Pants Specials at the Devil's Nest, so it makes sense that drinks would be half-off.

*tiniest squirrel rim shot*

Thanks, Leroy. Anyway, we had Tiny in *beep*less chaps, Jaye getting in on all the group hugs, Rey living her best life, and Miguel really playing up on the leather factor.

And that's probably a good note to end on, considering it's the last one. Thanks for listening, everyone! This has been Astrid, the normal human....

Troy: ...and the Disco Spider!

Astrid: For Fandom Radio, signing off.

Troy: Peace!

**CLICK!**