Pam: HELLO FANDOM. I don't know why I'm bouncy. This is Pam.

Jim: And this is Jim who is not bouncy. But I could be if people bought me a pogo stick for Christmas.

Pam: Your Christmas present is not a pogo stick.

Jim: Not from you, but maybe from one of our loyal listeners. I will also accept a trampoline.

Pam: I want anti-gravity boots!

Jim: Actually, what would be great? They have these pogo shoe things. I saw an infomercial about it. They're these foot-tall things you strap to your feet with little pogo sticks on them and you can bounce around like a kangaroo. It's the best thing ever.

Pam: ...you don't get those. I do. I just decided.

Jim: So you can be taller or just so you can bounce?

Pam: Both!

Jim: I'm just going to have to stand on tip-toe around you to make up that extra height.

Pam: ...mean.

Jim: Just keep bouncing and it won't matter.

Pam: I'm not even sure I know what the top of your head looks like.

Jim: I'll get you a stepladder for Christmas.

Pam: I am not that little. You're just freakishly tall.

Jim: You still need a stepladder. And notes, too. A stepladder and notes.

Pam: That was a terrible, terrible segue.

School, home of the terrible segues

Pam: Pop Culture took a test, and before that there was notetaking. But then there was the actual test. They also had a project, oooh. And US History didn't really do anything, and students studied or else drew or tried to leave.

Jim: Ethics today featured babies. Sokka proved himself to be great parenting material by wanting to throw his kid in the closet. Sokka and Edward did not use glitter but they ended up with a baby anyway. Probably because they weren't using glitter protection. River and Prue decided against locking their kid away, which is a good thing. Jaina and Gavin's child will be much loved, Ino and Kabuto were happy to have stopped at one, Sora tested his baby's arm strength, and John and Rodney had twins. Keep on impressing the teacher, John! Victor and Aravis were a very cute couple who will love their child so much, but the single parents had it even better. That was, for the record, Henry, Gwynn, Haruhi, and Qui-Gon.

Pam: Invasions talked about calling your mother. Or, you know, summoning mummies. There was a lecture, and then they played with the mummies. In *sigh* Communications, we talked about unconscious communication, and -- okay, I am not calling Dr. Suresh that.

Jim: Come on, Pam. You can do it.

Pam: It's not his name. The SQUIRRELS have a crush on him.

Jim: Yes they do and they came up with a very nice pet name for him. They call him 'His Hotness.' Awww. Cute little squirrel-crush.

Pam: Yes, see, the squirrels think he's hot, and all reporters are objective, despite what some people might have insinuated last week.

Jim: I said nothing. In the newspaper meeting, Peter was drawing a pony on the board and Charlie asked if she could have one. Bridge opened the library and had a visit from Kerrigan. And in lunch news, there was both ham and cheese to eat. Together, I believe. Bridging all of their cultural differences in delicious sandwich form. That's beautiful, guys.

Pam: *applause*

Jim: If I were a songwriter I'd change the words to Ebony and Ivory to reflect this lunchtime harmony.

Pam: There aren't enough syllables.

Jim: That's the reason why I don't have the song prepared. But if I were a songwriter, I'd figure my way around that.

Pam: That's your challenge for next week, then.

Jim: ... Absolutely. Listeners, tune in next week when I make myself look like an idiot.

Pam: It'll be awesome. I'll give you a cookie if you do it.

Jim: This is going to be a trainwreck.

Pam: An awesome one.

Dorms, where there might be trainwrecking going on right now

Pam: Jack played cards in his room, John and Jaina had a snowball fight, and Savannah missed her boyfriend not being a dragon. Aw. Don't turn into a dragon on me, Jim. It sounds like it sucks.

Jim: I promise. I've turned into a pumpkinhead. I'd still prefer that to dragon because that was only part-time and I got to ride an awesome horse. Hi, Trenor!

Pam: I'm not sure Karal's horse listens to the radio.

Jim: But you're also not sure that he doesn't.

Pam: ...point taken. Hi, Trenor.

Jim: On the fourth floor, Billy made Christmas cookies. And on the fifth, Jeff watched movies. Bad movies. Probably awful movies. River scared him, which may not be tough. Hoshi, meanwhile, talked about breasts with both Jeff and Jack. Speaking of Jeff and Jack, they... Oh, Jeff, that's a bad idea. And Sokka encouraged Jeff with the breast thing.

Pam: *sigh* ...that whole common room sounds uncomfortable. Oh, Jeff.

Jim: Remember, Fandom, keep naked breasts where they belong: in the bedroom.

Pam: Or shower.

Jim: Exactly.

Pam: Or...you know, I'm going to just move on to town, now.

Town, where people could be flashing each other RIGHT NOW

Pam: Mary opened the hotel, Isabel opened Pixie Dust and helped out Robin who's a frog. Turtle opened Turtle and Canary, Melody opened Groovy Tunes, and Joanna opened Wonders of the World, and was visited by Jack.

Jim: There was a party for Birthday Boy Bridge over at the MCA with presents and mingling and well wishes and cake and LEGO brand building blocks. Billy also had some presents for Willow, Isabel and Andrew talked about kissing Wyatt, and Charlie sneaked up on Andrew like she was a ninja. Which she may be, I can't say for sure. River touched Bridge in a purely platonic way, and the birthday boy told Meg his real age. He's extremely advanced for a three year old, you know. He told Z that unlike most people his age, he's not big on temper tantrums and then discussed LEGO brand building blocks with Ronan. For the record, yes, LEGO technically demands that you call their LEGO brand building blocks that so I'm going to keep calling them that. I don't want a LEGO brand lawsuit on my hands, after all. Isabel and Bridge talked about the age issues with their relationships and time travel, Andrew offered comics, and Anders took the three thing to a whole new level. Level level. Billy wondered if legality over one timeline felt any different... or perhaps more legal? Xander took LEGO brand building blocks seriously, Marco took time travel so seriously his head hurt, Adam wished him a happy happy, and Charlie offered Bridge some serious cookies.

Pam: In Caritas, Robin who's not a frog and doesn't like me opened everything up, and talked to Deadpool and Constable Fraser. And in the clinic, Dr. Troy had the day shift, and Dr. Howser had the evening. And Professor Next was there both shifts.

Jim: And that's all the squirrels wrote.

Pam: I think my bounciness went away.

Jim: Want to get some candy on the way back, find the bounce again?

Pam: ....oooh. Yes. Night, Fandom!