Aravis: Why am I here?

Pam: Because I've never done this by myself.

Harry: ...and?

Pam: And if I can't do this with the person I know best at this school, I'm doing it with random people I've never met.

Harry: ...

Aravis: ...

Pam: ...because it's funnier.

Harry: ...I guess.

Aravis: No, it's not, really.

Pam: Shut up and read the notes, please?



Harry: Will it get us out of here faster?

Pam: Yes.

Aravis: I don't want to.

Harry: Just do it so we can go.

Aravis: Who are either of you to tell me what to do?

Pam: I said please.

Robin: *sound of door opening* Oh, hey, don't mind me. I hid a bottle of scotch here on Tuesday and just realized I'm ou ...what?

Aravis: What do you mean, what?

Robin: You, with the curls. You're looking at me all...pleady.

Pam: You already work for the radio. Can you stay?

Robin: ...I'm not babysitting.

Aravis: I'm fifteen! I do not need a babysitter!

Pam: I'm sixteen and am beginning to think maybe you do.

Harry: Me too. Both counts.

Aravis: HEY.

Robin: Yeah, it's not happening.

Pam: What if I told you I found your bottle earlier and hid it and will only give it back if you help?

Robin: ....*gasp* you sneaky little...sneaky thing! The bottle is gone.

Pam: Ha.

Robin: ....fine. This is extortion. I know a lawyer.

Pam: I would love to see your case against the sixteen year-old holding the booze you stashed at your job hostage.

Robin: ...shut up.

Pam: Anyway! Moving onto the news, shall we? You can start...other girl. I don't know anyone's name.

Classes, where there was learning

Aravis: I'm not telling you.

Harry: Harry.

Robin: Bite me.

Pam: Nice to meet you, Girl With No Name, Harry, and Bite Me. I'm Pam.

Aravis: No, don't call me that. My name is Ara --

Pam: So anyway! Onto the news! I can start. In Communications today, our teacher was the lovely Ms. Thursday Next, who is normally our librarian. We didn't communicate verbally -- instead, we wrote letters to the faculty! Naminé wrote a whole bunch, and Cassandra talked to the new teacher. Anyone here in Ethics?

Robin: I graduated high school nine years ago. ...don't do the math on that.

Aravis: I am.

Pam: All right, No Name, you can read this bit.

Aravis: You're too generous. We studied diligence, temperance, and forgiveness --

Harry: ...wow.

Aravis: What?

Harry: Nothing.

Aravis: ...right. So --

Harry: You must have done really awful.

Aravis: Do not make me hurt you, scrawny boy.

Harry: Please.

Pam: NO NAME. Read the news.

Aravis: I'm not done with you. Anyway, we discussed whether diligence is foolhardy and Rodney was a...kissass. I'm not sure what that means.

Pam: Goody two-shoes.

Aravis: ...

Harry: Brown-noser.

Aravis: ...

Robin: He's secretly in love with him.

Aravis: OH. That makes more sense. We went on to talk about temperance -- something at which I excel, by the way -- and forgiveness, another one of my better traits.

Robin: *cough that sounds like 'bullshit'*

Aravis: That wasn't very ladylike.

Robin: I tend to...not be, sometimes. And it's true.

Aravis: Does that mean you're really a man?

Robin: ...what?

Aravis: You're awfully tall to be a woman....

Robin: I'M A WOMAN.

Pam: Moving on, it says someone named Aravis talked to Master Skywalker after class --

Aravis: That's --

Pam: Shh, No Name, you're done. Anyone have Invasions?

Harry: I do. Today, we listened and then partnered up and went to Caritas.

Pam: See how quickly and nicely that worked? Thank you, Harry. It looks like History studied the industrial revolution, Pop Culture talked about the Beatles, no one ate lunch, and Bridge opened the library. Bite Me, want to talk about office hours, since that's an adult thing?

Robin: That's not my name, blackmailer. Anyway, looks like the only one who had office hours today was Benton --

Pam: Who?

Robin: ....Constable Fraser.

Pam: Oh, Hot Mountie. I can say that, since my boyfriend's sick in bed and not, like, sitting here.

Robin: You guys really do call him that. Wow. How...wow.

Pam: It's true.

Aravis: I don't think so.

Harry: I don't either, for the record.

Robin: Wait, wait, Bratty McAnnoying, what's your problem with him?

Pam: Ooh, score, you named her.

Aravis: He took my sword away. Don't call me that.

Robin: ...that's his job. Dumbass. Anyway, Aly and Barney stopped by, and I really hope no more stories of me were passed along.

Pam: What kind of stories?

Robin: None of your beeswax.

Pam: Whatever, we also had a paper meeting.

Aravis: How special for you.

Harry: I'm reading the damn dorms before you decide to light the station on fire or something.

Dorms, before Aravis's imaginary pyromania takes foot

Harry: Looks like this morning you found a horse, actually.

Aravis: He was out by himself! This is what happens when you feed horses sorbet! It's not good for him, it's not --

Harry: I wasn't done. Johnny moved the beds together to make Savannah happy, and she hopes no one heard the radio --

Pam: Oh, right, Turtle said they slept together.

Robin: Way to score, random kid. I drink to you.

Pam: I kind of think you drink to anything.

Robin: Die in a fire.

Harry: ANYWAY, Dean and Meg were apparently 'snuggly,' good on them, Annette got a bunch of roses, good on her, and Jamie found out about Z's parole officer. Less good on her.

Aravis: What's a parole officer?

Robin: You'll find out in a few years.

Harry: Any. Way. Ronan visited Isabel, AJ did art, and Dawn attempted to get Sam to dance for her and he said no. Good work, Sam.

Pam: I wonder if that works on anyone. Asking one's boyfriend to dance.

Aravis: Seely would. I've no doubt whatsoever.

Pam: Pretty sure Jim wouldn't. Probably.

Harry: I don't have a boyfriend.

Pam: What do you think, Bite Me? Would yours?

Robin: I don't have a boyfriend, I have a...Mountiefriend. Oh, look, notes on town!

Pam: Where did half of that bottle go?

Robin: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Town, where people are probably drinkning too.

Harry: ....drinkning?

Robin Shhhhh! Aly was getting squished by kitties. Poor Aly. Peter Parker and Victor met at the causeway, which is a good place to meet. Why're you there? 'Cause.

Aravis: Why is it called that?

Harry: ...I don't know.

Pam: ...hm. We should call someone and find out.

Harry: I bet Her --

Pam: The girl who used to live across the hall from me is really smart. She'd know. Hang on.

*sounds of dialing, then ringing*

Rory: Hello?

Pam: Hi! Um, this is Pam. I used to live across the hall from you?

Rory: ...oh, right. Um. Hi?

Aravis: She sounds unfriendly.

Harry: You would certainly know.

Aravis: HEY.

Robin: Kids. Shhh. Robin's trying to drink here.

Pam: ...anyway. Um, do you know why causeways are called that?

Rory: ...um. I think it has to do with Latin. Google it.

Aravis: You fail at helping us. Now no one on the radio will know.

Rory: ...............I'm on the radio??? What the hell? Hanging up now. *click*

Pam: ...anyway, there you have it. Elsewhere in town, Isabel tormented a bunny in Pixie Dust, Rikku was sleepy at Wellspring Arms, Turtle binged on candy and was visited by Jamie, George Michael found bird poo exciting...what? Mary was also in a great mood at the Arms, Annette also ate candy and was visited by Ino, Lee and Adah had a date, awww, and Johnny and Ronan ate together at Luke's. Not sure whether that was a date too or not.

Robin: Thought he was banging whatsherface. Oh, oh, wait. My boss's name is Johnny an' he's gayer'n a maypole.

Aravis: ...what?

Harry: Stop asking. Just listen to her. She's a funny drunk and we might get out of here soon.

Pam: Who wants to talk about the clinic?

Aravis: Me! ...nothing happened. That was boring.

Robin: You're boring.

Aravis: Am not, you're boring!

Robin: Your face is boring!

Aravis: It is not!

Pam: Bite Me! Since you're the expert, talk about the bars.

Robin: Okay, so. The bar where I don't work? Boring boring. Bar where I do work? I think there was a fight. I wanna break up a fight.

Harry: That's it! That's the end! Can we go?

Pam: All right, everyone say goodnight!

Aravis: I hate you, stupid curly-haired wench.

Pam: Bite me.

Robin: Yes?

Harry: ...bye!