Jim: Hello, Fandom. We hope you had a great day today and if you didn't we're still going to talk about it and possibly make fun of you about it a little.

Pam: What do you mean, possibly?

Jim: It might be one of those where the squirrels are vague about it and we don't know that they should be mocked.

Pam: When has that stopped us?

Jim: Good point. Okay, Fandom, if you didn't we're still going to talk about it and definitely make fun of you about it a little. Better, Pam?

Pam: Much. I am appeased. And it's a good night, because I totally already watched Top Model yesterday and I've had a normal amount of coffee. Go Team Beesly!



Jim: I swear I don't get your obsession with that show.

Pam: At least it's about real people and not...ghosts.

Jim: The fake ghosts are smarter than the models. And speaking of smarter than models...

School, where you learn to be smarterer than the World's Most Smartest Model

Jim: Pop Culture talked music today. Gwynn was a dedicated student, taking notes. But were they musical notes? You get no credit unless it's sheet music. And then the students discussed as duets. I hope all the discussion was sung. Ethics pretended they were Jedi and so will I. Hi, I'm Jim Halpert. I'm a Jedi.

Pam: Like Luke?

Jim: Just like Luke, yes. I kind of have the hair for it. Students found their partners and battled droids. Prue and Gavin made a good team, combining powers and lightsabers while something was up with Victor von Doom and John "Thunderbolt" Sheppard had some issues with a pink lightsaber and everyone shooting at John. That's unfortunate. And Sokka and Rodney decided to charge which probably didn't end well. Destroyers then blocked the path to the elevators. Creativity won the day when Prue shot a lightsaber at a droid and Victor blew up a blaster. There was a Chancellor to save which Gavin and Prue... screw it, I'm calling them Grue failed at and Doppard had some consciousness issues with. If anyone was about to escape, Master Skywalker would have debriefed them in a totally consensual and non-sexual way. And after class, he was there to talk if anyone wanted to.

Pam: In terms of clubs, newspaper met and got assignments. Master Skywalker was all posture-y at Peter, and Professor Rogers was glad to not have to run naked pictures of Jamie, or something. that banana club, Ron was a canary, but no one seemed to notice or care. And then Sokka was one too. US History talked about all kinds of facts I didn't know! Cool! And in Invasions, there were wee small children! Good thing I wasn't there. There was a lecture first, and then everyone went to meet their tiny children in the park. Dick had a kid, and so did Peter, and Jack had two. Wyatt, Karal, Valentine, Marco, Jenny, Robin and Troy. And then there was playtime, then bedtime, and then everyone had to say goodbye. And no one wanted to talk to either the TA or Professor Winchester and his daughters.

Jim: I bet you're glad you're not in that class.

Pam: I try so hard to make them like me and nothing! I would have been a traumatic presence.

Jim: At least they were fake kids. Aly subbed for Communications and they learned all about flirting. Notes were taken, other notes were passed, flirting happened, and Jeff tried to get out of it because he has a contract with Turtle. Pam?

Pam: Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

Jim: Thank you, Pam. Bridge opened the library and had a visit from Chris. The school office danced on the ceiling. And wrapping things up on the school front, Squall held office hours. Jamie visited to interview him for the paper and then he probably watched Top Model.

Pam: Smart man. It was a good episode. The girls had to dress up like trash.

Jim: Which is so different than the way they normally dress up. *sound of Jim simulating a rimshot by drumming his hands on a table*

Pam: *sighs* Recyclable trash!

Jim: Outfits can be reworn, thus recycled.

Pam: One girl was aluminum cans!

Jim: That's a terrible thing to say about the poor girl. I'm not even sure what it means.

Pam: If you watched, you would.

Jim: But that would mean I'm watching garbage. *sound of Jim rimshotting again*

Pam: This week? The girl told Tyra she wanted to go home. She didn't have to be sent. That's how much she hates Tyra Banks. And then there was this whole thing about how Tyra hates quitters and oh, it's so awesomely bad. Like a sparkly trainwreck. In a bad weave.

Jim: Did you hear what's going to happen in next week's episode?

Pam: YES. One girl is going to have medical issues on a shoot!

Jim: Not that part. I have spoilers for how it ends.

Pam: One girl goes home?

Jim: Also, it turns out I didn't watch the show yet again because it's a bad show. Let's move onto dorms!

Pam: Listening audience, you guys can't see how I'm making faces at Jim because he's mean.

Dorms, where other people like my taste in television

Pam: Karal checked something in a something stone, and Molly stopped by to help out or something. Billy sent email, Isabel worked on an essay and was visited by Wyatt, and Dick and Meg were affectionate and good friends. Really. And then Annette came by to take care of him when she was done being lazy. Aravis and Seely celebrated an anniversary, congrats, and Luke was visited by his girlfriend who wants her chest signed. Kinky. Gavin stopped by, but I don't think he wanted his chest signed. Z probably didn't, either. Beauty woke up and that's boring but then she went to spend time with her horse and that's less boring, and sulky Jeff got a visit from Chad, and talked about how he doesn't get women. Oh, Jeff.

Jim: I'm kind of scared about how that turned out. In the gym, Meg brutalized a punching bag before Dean came in and they were were 'all cute about movies' and that is a direct quote from a squirrel who knows cute when she sees it. On the second floor, Johnny made serious tacos, which is serious business, and I don't think people got the memo that last week was the Serious broadcast. You're a week late, guys! Hoshi stopped by because she smelled something. Was it the tacos or the burnt towels? I'm not sure why there were burnt towels. She approved of the tacos and discussed the esteemed Professor Stinson with Johnny. Jack talked to Hoshi about her week, Billy talked to Hoshi in Japanese, something strongly detested or disliked showed up... I have no clue what that means. Pam? Any clue?

Pam: ...Anathema. Took me a second.

Jim: Wow. The squirrels have been hitting the books. I'm going to try to smuggle you guys in for the SATs, okay? Anathema -- a name which comes from the vocabulary word meaning 'something strongly detested or disliked' -- was there and proved her name wrong. She wondered if something had been conflagrated -- yes, I just looked that up on the internet because holy crap squirrels aren't supposed to have a better vocabulary than me -- and Johnny bribed her with a taco. But you can't bribe the radio staff with tacos. We only take cash.

Pam: I take personal checks, too.

Jim: But we'll tell people if the check bounces. Anyway, Jack waved to Anathema. Then he and Billy got some tacos. I'm kind of hungry now.

Pam: I have cookies?

Jim: That'll work. Thank you.

Pam: You're welcome. This is like the most polite radio segment ever.

Town, where that will be fixed

Pam: Mr. Giles got a phone call from home, which is exciting. I wonder what it was about. Lana studied at Book Haven, Gunther pestered Mary to eat, and Turtle was in a bad mood at Turtle and Canary because she and Jeff are fighting. Awwww. Ino cheered her up by talking about how awesome the store is. Jamie cheered her up with puppets. And...some mysterious, tall, floppy-haired guy gave her a trophy, and that made her really happy. Huh.

Jim: I do believe that Turtle actually said she wanted one on Tuesday's broadcast. Let me try something. I WANT A BAG FULL OF MONEY!

Pam: I'm just saying, if I knew the guy who did that, I would think that was really cool and sweet of him. Anyway, Melody and Dale chatted about inanimate objects at Groovy Tunes, George Michael was chased by a seagull at the banana stand, Isabel had hot chocolate at Pixie Dust, Mr. Giles was visited by Dawn at the Magic Box, Rikku was in a better mood at Wellspring Arms, and Leo played with the green screen at the Photo Hut! And Peter Petrelli and Melody had a date at Ching Tai, and neither of them are twenty-two yet. Good to know.

Jim: GOB opened Caritas where Robin Scherradioperson and Constable Fraser talked and I have a namesmush for them. Frascherbatsky.

Pam: It sounds like a sneeze.

Jim: So romantic. And also, the esteemed Professor Stinson drank while Robin pretended to be his wife. Fraser sang a dirty version of 'Oh Canada' which I guess you could accomplish with a well-placed comma. Aly and Robin talked about Truth or Dare and Fraser asked Professors Stinson and Aly where their horses were. Meanwhile at the Devil's Nest, Neil did some homework and Andrew got some OJ. And finally, Dr Troy and Dr Howser opened the clinic during the day and night, respectively.

Pam: And that's it! That's it, right?

Jim: Yep. You know, I don't think I made enough of an effort to mock everyone. Hey, everyone! You all smell bad!

Pam: And your moms dress you funny!

Jim: Our jobs here are done.

Pam: Night, everyone!