Breaking News: I'm still an American, all of my body parts are where they're supposed to be, and that includes my very special parts that I'm still happy to share with any ladies of legal age who might be listening yadda yadda.

So, we done with that bit? Good. Let's get onto the rest of what happened around town.

Dorms

On the second floor, Cecil was watching extra TV with his extra eye that he totally always had no really I believe you. Amelia was less sure of that and started asking pointed questions about the third eye, probably because I don't think I've ever heard of her and that either means she's new to this place and the fact that some people have ALWAYS had third eyes for reals, or I'm doing a much better job with not remembering names than I thought. Seriously, if she's been here all semester and I've never even heard of her in passing, I'm giving myself a reward.

*PEW*

The reward is fine Scotch and I'm drinking it now. No time to fact check! I'm at work!

Town

And far away from the students, we had James Bond eating pastries and drinking coffee out on the front steps, because that's just what you do in winter. But he disagreed with my definition of winter - look at a calendar! - when A-err-wynn stopped by and asked WTF.

*chittering*

You're kidding me, it's pronounced 'Erin'? I'd call this whole Aeryn thing ridiculous but I just realized that I figured out what the squirrel was saying when it corrected my pronunciation, so I'm just going to start drinking and never stop, k?

At the Arms, Nikolai took a phone call from one of his clients and wasn't as supportive as I'd want if I was a coked up Hollywood type. Mostly because of the coke. I'm guessing.

Cecil seemed way too cheery at Curiosities as he unpacked kewpie dolls. And yes, they were creepy.

Turns out, most of the real action of the day was at the Boards, where Drac was holding auditions between phone calls for some hotel somewhere that's not here. Sparks and Kenzi had a discussion about aditioning here, elsewhere, some Canadian names I think, and I don't know what else because both Canada and the stage are places I'm happy knowing nothing about. It got easier to follow when Sparks told Kenzi about the little warehouse girl he adopted, probably not legally.

Then Sparks had his audition which was so great that Drac told him he's President. Okay, exaggeration. He just told Sparks to train other actors because he's that good.

Jono showed up for Drac to be introduced to his lack of a head, making Drac one, ONE confused Count. Ah ah ah.

Shut up, it's comedy gold.

Drac continued to be slow on the uptake when Kenzi told him about her long history of dancing before they moved on to talking about her audition.

Okay, that's it, still no boobs on my chest and memory intact. Hashtag winning.