Faithful: "It's Thursday evening and my human co-host is nowhere to be seen. What to do, what to do? Wait for her and waste your valuable - ha! - time with chatter and music or just start without her? I don't feel like wasting my time, so I'll just annoy you all with my take on the news. Enjoy!

School
Guitar presents on heroes. Someone just ran into the door. Artifacts talks about Atlantis. Someone is now hitting the door. There's a debate about the existance of Atlantis. IT'S OPEN you idiot! Oh hey, who are you?"


Marco: "Marco. Where's the voice coming from?"

Faithful: "See the kitty?"

Marco: "A talking cat?"

Faithful: "A talking idiot?"

Marco: "Hey!"

Faithful: "So is there a reason you tried knock the door down?"

Marco: "Yeah! I was walking and then it hit me!"

Faithful: "It was closed. Idiot."

Marco: "Am not! So what are you doing?"

Faithful: "Radio."

Marco: "So like, everyone can hear me?"

Faithful: "Can hear you be an idiot, yes."

Marco: "Hey Annette! Hey Fandom! So what do you do?"

Faithful: "Read these. You can read, right?"

Marco: "Shut up. Wyatt and Tori want to flood the prom or something. I'm very pro that idea. I also don't have a date, and am very cute so if any upper classmen girl needs someone to take? My phone is always on. Keep doing that and it'll get stuck like that. Film and Lit talks about free will and death. I am very pro one and very against the other."

Faithful: "The idiot and I agree. Quick, to the lifeboats!"

Marco: "You don't even know me. And we're not on the Titanic. That movie sucked. Anatomy thankfully cuts up only fake people. Cause it would really suck if they were working on real people. Girly Sam teaches T'Gay instead of Ares. That sounds kind of wrong. The class reaserches Ares' kids for blackmail material once he gets back. Evie is worried she'll get in trouble. There's always one of those in the class."

Faithful: "Good students? I bet it was never you. Oh close your mouth, you look like a fish. A stoned fish. Science! explores Valentine's body before getting sneezed out. Did they need permission from the administration for that? Parker and Billy visit M. I desperately hope that M is a nickname. ... I just realized that if M is a nickname, her real name must be something really bad. And to the shock of everyone? The office is in fact open. I know, I know, how can that be?"

Marco: "Easy, the office workers come in, put a key in the lock, and wow! The office is open!"

Faithful: "...Idiot."

Marco: "You keep saying that word, but I don't think it means what you think it means. I just butchered that quote, didn't I? Bridge opens the library. Alert the media! The library lady and Bridge are tied together. What? Oh, tired together. Close enough for government work. Rikku tries to break into Special Collections but is thwarted by the powers of Bridge. You know, if there was someone named river, creak, or troubled water in this school, there'd be a lot of bad jokes. What's so funny? Z wonders why Bridge is calling her at all hours of the night. Bridge, I know you're supposed to be the one giving me advice, but being clingy does not help you keep girlfriends. Trust me. What's so funny?"

Faithful: "Wow, we're reaching new levels here. Chess club looses an Ami while Newspaper finds an s."

Marco: "That's just a spare letter."

Faithful: "You make your bad jokes, I make mine.

Dorms
Marco: "Mine are better. Isabel is manning, and womanning, the prom table. Come on guys! I'm sure someone needs a date! ... Hey, there is someone named River here. That's kind of awesome. Oh the jokes that can be made, I don't even know where to start. One of the Johns buys two tickets. ... That sounds wrong. Does that sound wrong to you?"

Faithful: "...Yes. There is something very wrong with your brain."

Marco: "You're one to talk, you're a talking cat!"

Faithful: "Wow."

Marco: "That was unintentional! Isabel doesn't let Sokka buy tickets. That's mean! The missing Ami was last seen jogging, fyi. Tori has a smoothie. No notes about its flavor. Bad ... squirrels?! Um...okay. Squirrels it is. Walter has popcorn and soda. Butter or no butter? Yeah, I'm hungry. Oh, apparently Walter is leaving. That's sad. I don't even know who he is. Pip and Walter are very confusing with their fathers and grandfathers. Pippi tells Walter she's going on a trip to...something I can't pronounce."

Faithful: "There's a suprise. Fandom Chef! in the lobby."

Marco and Faithful: "Free food and I missed it?!"

Faithful: "That never happened. And the teams are in! John and Luke, Dean and Dawn, Sokka and Evie, and poor, lonely Liz. Oh. That's what happened to my usual co-host. Emma, Aly, and Benton are the judges. Apparently, even the cooking is crazy. No word on the winner. And there's a food fight. What a waste."

Marco: "But fun."

Faithful: "You'd think that."

Marco: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Faithful: "You wouldn't understand."

Marco: "Whatever. Walter returns. I thought he was leaving in two weeks? Time travel? Ami has a restless night. I can insert a tactless joke here, but I won't."

Faithful: "Thank you for that."

Marco: "Welcome! Naomi calls him John Connor. That sounds kinda cool. Janet and Cam talk. That sounds kinda boring. Anders is looking for breakfast. I can relate man. Who keeps eating all the Pop-Tarts? Nadia wakes up, sleeps, and notices Walter is back. I'm so confused on the order of events here."

Faithful: "Zippers confuse you."

Marco: "What does that have to do with anything?"

Faithful: "So you agree that they confuse you?"

Marco: "What? No! Ugh, Miss Aly, ma'am teacher-like person? I promise I won't sleep in class. I feel so sorry for you for having to deal with this thing."

Faithful: "I'm not a thing!"

Marco: "Black cats are bad luck. Peter and Willow are cute and snuggly. I bet they're going to prom."

Faithful: "Especially since the notes say they're talking about it."

Marco: "Shut up. Oh. Bridge calls Xander and Z because he had some bad dreams. Sorry for making fun of you earlier, man. Jim and Lana join Peter and Willow in the cute and snuggly department. Seperately. Not together. I mean, they're together, but not together with Peter and Willow. I should shut up now."

Faithful: "First good idea you've had. Phoebe has a dream. I always find it odd that the squirrels know this. Parker isn't sleeping, but does get a visit from Isabel about Weiss. I think you still owe me seafood. Gwynn gets a letter and a present. It's a good day to be Gwynn. Rikku made hole and tells Jude about it. ... What? And apparently she covered it up with a pillow. That's the kind of stupidity I expect from this lump here."

Marco: "Hey! Who are you to talk, all you do is eat and sleep!"

Faithful: "I'm more intelligent than you. Hermione runs to Hades for help."

Marco: "Another one of those."

Faithful: "And Hades makes everything better. The End! Happily Ever After! Except not Willow and Peter."

Town
Marco: "Aw, I was rooting for them. Anyway, in town, Lana opens Book Haven, Katara opens the post office, Turtle opens Turtle and Canary - by the way, vote for me cuter then Anders! - Rikkku opens the Devil's Nest, Ami opens the Magic Box - I wonder what springs out, and the twins open Sparky Repairs. Woah."

Faithful: "Too much for you poor human brain? Ow! Put me down! Don't touch the tail! PUT ME DOWN! You're going to pay for that you!"

~~~~For ten minutes the sounds of a struggle can be heard in the background~~~~

Faithful: "Anyway, as I was saying..."

Marco: "Ow."

Faithful: "As I was saying..."

Marco: "I think I need a doctor. That's going to need stitches. And a rabies shot!"

Faithful: "I do not have rabies! If you did, that's your own problem. Jude brings Lana pie. See, he's smart. Unlike you. Cally has a veggie burger as she catches up with Lana. Chad squees over Kataras kitty. That's what you're supposed to with us! Not touch our tails! Idiot! Wilson takes a walk in the park. He's joined by Lucifer."

Marco: "An opening like that and you don't take it? Hey hey hey hey put those away! Would the owner of one annoying, talking black cat please have them declawed? Also? OW! I'm loosing a lot of blood here people!"

Faithful: "Oh shut up. Ten minutes, and you won't have a scratch left on you."

Marco: "..."

Faithful: "I'm a cat. I know everything. It's my job."

Marco: "Curiosity killed the cat."

Faithful: "Satisfaction brought him back. The Doctor discusses summer plans with Wilson. Angela shops for dresses and then goes out with Marty. Wow, you're ugly like that. Billy and Amy first talk and then go on their trip. It's pizza day! at Cafe Fina. Don't squish the cat!"

Marco: "Ooooh oooh ooh AHH AHH AHH!"

Faithful: "Don't squish the cat! Yes, that needs to be repeated! John and Zoe relax in their room and that's as much as anyone needs to know about their principal's life. Bridge visits Xander. Marco? Put your clothes back on."

Marco: "I am wearing clothes! Alanna and heeeeey. That's who your owner is. Now I know who to send the bill to!"

Faithful: "What bill? There isn't a scratch on you."

Marco: "...Shut up."

Faithful: "Told you I'm smarter than you."

Marco: "Doggie has evening clinic duty. Phoebe, Bel, and the Zombies are quiet in Caritas. Millie wants ale. Yo-The librarian comes in for drinks. Tori gets ginger ale. Millie and Lucifer talk about home. The jokes, they make themselves."


Faithful: "So why don't you make them?"

Marco: "Because most people, not cats, are intelligent enough to realize the joke themselves and laugh without needing me to point out the obvious."

Faithful: "I think we've already prooven who's the most intelligent here."

Marco: "I control the can opener."

Faithful: "I control you."

Marco: "No you don't."

Faithful: "Yes, yes I do. So there. Good night Fandom!"

Marco: "Wha-oh. Good ni-"