Hey, y'all! It's Miley Ray coming at you live on the airways from the WTFH radio station, on the corner of Minotaur Lane and Black Swan Drive, Fandom, Maryland, zip code --

Well, I don't know what the zip code is.

But here I am! So let's get started with classes, y'all.

The first class we've got listed here is Basic Strategy, where they learned all about the importance of reading! Which, reading is really important, you guys. I don't read as much as I'd like to, 'cause I'm so busy with, uh, stuff. Just stuff! But they were reading, which is totally great for them. Good job, you guys! Keep it up! Mr. Lannister talked about the importance of books, and Lucrezia -- awesome name, by the way! -- showed Bruce her clothes, which I guess were probably pretty cute because hey, why would you show off clothes that aren't cute? Duh. So then people read, and I guess talked too! Marshall asked Lex how he's settling in, and Kate and SUPER GENEROUS KENZI, who I owe a major thank-you to, by the way, talked about how they wouldn't need all this information in the real world. Well, you guys, Kenzi is pretty smart. And pretty, too! So maybe she's got something there. Susan complained that she'll never need to know about Bollywood -- hey, it's actually pretty cool! -- and Toby concluded that she doesn't like movies or musicals. Which is what Bollywood is, y'all. And then Crazy Fast Bart and Stephanie talked about possibly switching their books because Bart's sounded hard, and then they found out they're from the same place! My, uhhh, roommate, Surreal, was all confused by her book, so Claudia offered to switch. Kate was around, which we already established so I guess she's the TA, and Mr. Lannister was there too and Lucrezia talked to him about wearing regular clothes.

Cute ones, though, right?

Then there was Cultural Understanding, where they talked about -- oh, cool! Food! Was it, like, about the foods from different cultures? I bet it was. Did you guys talk about southern baked mac and cheese? Because that stuff is so good. And don't even get me started on the famous Crowley Corners salsa we make down in Tennessee. Mm-mmm, good! I am just sayin'. Everyone listened to the lecture, and then -- aw, man! They got to cook stuff from home! I wish I was in that class! You guys have not lived until you've tasted my catfish stew. Fo' rizzle. Apparently Karla's cooking got a special mention for being so gosh-darn delicious, and everyone got to taste-test once they were done. And the teachers, whose names I'm way not going to try to pronounce, were around to be consulted. 

Then there was Aesthetics of Word I Can't Say, where they... ran, I guess. Bleh. First they watched Mr. Bond run, and then they practiced and ran on their own, and Mr. Bond and the TA were around to help out! You guys, seriously, it is so lucky I'm not in that class. I'm not even kidding. You do not want me to run.

*squeaking*

This guy knows what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Then in Creative Arts, which is way awesome, we all listened to the lecture, and then we got to paint. Hey, if anyone wants to see my awesome painting of my BFF Lilly, you are so welcome to. It's kind of awesome. Cute Tony was around and his painting might not have been the best, and so was Mr. Rogers, who was not painting at all. Huh. That kind of leaves me in suspense, even though I was there. Like, what was he even doing? 

In the school office, things were really quiet, except for some dancing... what does that say? I can't make it out. And then in the library, William was studying... ant-eaters. Ant-eaters who cut hair. Yeah, but the question is, can they style wigs?

And then there was the Super Top Secret Frat, which met at a bowling alley. So I guess that's a public place. I totally wouldn't want to get sued for revealing their super top secrets, you know? Secrets are important. And you should never, ever judge someone for not telling you something, because it is their business and their business ONLY. Ya hear? Good. The guys arrived and picked out their shoes -- ooh, I just got these awesome Lebourtin pumps that have --

*three straight minutes of microphone feedback*

-- and I cannot wait to wear them. I am so not even kidding.

This guy Ben was apparently being mean to Weird Noise-Making Topher, and he teased him and then they talked about doing laundry. I'm not sure what he teased him about, exactly, but it's rude to be mean to people, Ben! You shouldn't pick on others. And that goes for that guy Luke, too. You shouldn't bully Cute But Cra-- I mean, Percy like that. Yeah.

And then the guys bowled, and Cute Tony and Rock Band Warren were there to talk to people. Weird Topher came over to show Cute Tony his tattoo, and they decided to -- I can't see what that says. I'm sure it's something really fun and age-appropriate, like doing homework! Rosella -- ooh, that's a pretty name, but isn't it for a girl? -- oh, she came by to try and sneak in with a disguise, but Cute Tony caught her. Bobby Not My Big Bro's Little Bro, The Other Bobby ate some pizza, and Tony talked to him about possibly joining the fraternity. Ben complained about the shoes, Bobby bugged Rock Band Warren a little bit, and and Mr. Lannister was around eating pizza!

Now, dorms!

Bod was listening to music and cleaning his room, getting ready to do laundry. Good for you, Bod. Way to be responsible! Susan -- wait, why does that name sound familiar? Oh, well, I'm sure it's nothing -- apparently walked through the wall to her room. Wait, it sounds like she might need some extra, like, guidance or something, settling into Fandom, if she's walking through walls. Huh. 

Luke The Bully was beating stuff up with a sword in the salle, and Atlanta Kate came over with her sword and they talked about how no one's there in the morning because sleep is good. 

Yeah, SQUIRRELS.

*indignant chittering*

And finally, we have the town. 

Totally Valuable Ender was in Stark Industries, cleaning up... strawberries? Oookay. Ben came by and they talked about next weekend -- ohmygosh, are you guys all as excited as I am? I get to see my da-ad, I get to see my da-ad! Eeeee! And my BFF Lilly, and I guess my smelly brother Jackson, but come on, you can't have everything, am I right? 

At Cafe Luke's, Vincent was telling another chef that a calabash and pumpkin spice flavored tofu meatloaf cupcake would be... inadvisable. Yeah. Inadvisable. I do not advise it either. And SUPER GENEROUS AND INCREDIBLY NICE Kenzi stopped by to politely request chocolate. Which was nice, because Kenzi has manners and is always very sweet to everyone ever.

At Caritas, Jake got an order of... rocks. Oh. Then at the Devil's Nest, Mr. Sparrow was juggling -- what does that word say? I guess balls, probably. That's usually what people juggle. Mr. Hercules came by to offer him a few drinks, and Eric was there texting and drinking... probably lemonade, right? 

And finally, at the Gig, Angelica was exercising the horses. Oooh! Say hi to BlueJeans for me!

Ooh, wait! We now have a breaking news bulletin! This intrepid squirrel comes bringing a note that on Saturday night, Fandom will be hosting a recital for talented students of all grade levels! So get those sign-ups in! 

...and if any of y'all can square-dance, let me know, 'kay?

Alrighty, Fandom, that's all the news for today! But till next time, remember to brush your teeth, do your laundry -- as Bod, Ben and Topher so thoughtfully reminded us -- and get your dancing shoes and guitars and whatever else you need ready for Saturday! This is Miley Ray Stewart, signing off.