So, I watched ANTM. Tyra, when did you turn into an alien in a purple jumpsuit. So sad, man.

So sad.



School

Soooo, DADA decided we're all five and played a rousing game of Simon Says in order to figure out if curses are evil. Survey says... yes. Yes they are. The other half of the ambiguously gay duo wasn't there today. Sirius was flyin' solo. Magic for Dummies had weetiny Harper talk about practicing it on the DL. Aaaand she was there of course. With Paige.

History of Medicine learned about wilderness medicine. Which is rubbing dirt on things. And fording the river. The TAs and teacher fellow Fraser were there. Billy Zane's class learned about Sleeping Beauty. While Kennedy and Kate passed notes about lesbianism, they talked about rewriting the story. Oh god. Anne Rice flashbacks. Oh god.

I need a moment.

...

Okay. I think I can continue without crying for JUSTICE or something.

Billy Zane and Kennedy were there. Ziiiiiiva Facebooked during Study Hall. Not So Emo Anymore Giant played Sims at the library when his girlfriend Bass showed up to ask if he hung out with the Magic Reserve. Weirdo. I... apparently had a lot of sex with the librarian guy. Which I guess might work if he dressed like a chick. Iiiin the cafeteria Jonas and Kurty tried to figure out if squash is food. Mmmm. Squash.

Dru stopped by Zoe to see what the dealio with this summer.

Dorms

Edmund picked up Jo for their daaaaaate. Everyone say it with me now! Daaaaaate. Awww. Merlin rambled at his bird before Raven showed up to watch porn with him. Wow... kinky.

The cheertators had their usual practice with cheer business, cheer panda and cheer perverts.

Magic Reserve... had a freakin' pile of notes. Jeezy Chreezy. At the snack table, someone all mysterious like left brownies for the group. How thoughtful. There was mingling! where Tara and Raven go from being shoeless to Chuck Bass being a demon. I could see it. Maybe one of those rhyming ones. God, I hate them. Raven and Tweety talked about... Jaime not watching someone get out of a hot tub. Which is bad. Or something. Jaime, watch more people in hot tubs, I guess. Karla asked Francine if she made the brownies, but hers are illegal. Illegally delicious! Highfive!

...

I hate you squirrels.

They also discussed things. Like, how Savannah shouldn't drain herself in a fight, instead she should ride Kurt like a pony along the BAMF express. So, so dirty. Raven told everyone that there is a lizard inside her and it's okay because she shoved a brownie in there, so don't say ow Savannah. Don't say it. Tony asked if she wants it there and she was all 'SURE! IT DOESN'T FEEL LIKE ANYTHING' which I'm sure saddened the beast. Francine giggled and asked if it's in her pants, but nooo. It's in her Netherlands. With the clog wearin' folks live. Jono turned into a hippie and suggested everyone just get along and then that Raven is a dirty bird. A kinky hippie, it seems. Tony said he liked boys and Jono said he liked girls and then Tony said he likes whips and chains and then Jono said he likes hancuffs and then I clawed my eyes out. Kurt was all appalled by that, but Jono and Tony explain all about kink. Karla mentioned they sold all those things at the fine, fine store of Triple D's in town and that she can't get it on and somehow gets on the question about if Jono's fire goes... you know... that low.

Ew.

Kurt is thoroughly scarred by all this talk and Jono calls him a viiiirgin. Because he so is. Kink is fun! There was even a meme about it for me! It was between me and Daken for the most fics. Tony says Kurt is too young for it anyway, but Kurt's all 'OMG TELL ME' until Tony got into the nitty gritty. Raven isn't even sure what half the toys at Dite's do and Dakota Fanning was on the same boat. Ew. Dakota Fanning, no. Jono told her that toys could make things more fun and she was all 'pff, I can use my powers to do that' and offered a demonstration, but he had on new pants---OH GOD, MY EYES. This just gets weirder and weirder. Kurt asks it the lizard is large and there is talk about how she doesn't like cold things going into her Netherlands. Yeah. Karla laments having to wait until she's twenty and Raven doesn't help by saying sex is awesome. Tara and Karla talk about doin' it and how Tara doesn't want to with a boy. Oh, lesbians.

Cable: Is this going to take much longer...? Ah. Thank you for the notes, squirrels. Merlin and Raven have a... spirited discussion about sex and other issues that I'm not going to comment on, considering that I'm an adult. The leaders were present, unfortunately. Arthur tries to eliminate part of the problem by removing Merlin, but he runs into some difficulties. Karla and Merlin decide to speak about the internet, and Dinah comes up to him to talk about taking some brownies to a party tomorrow.

Don't.

Tony and Dinah discuss how she shouldn't eat Tony. I'd think that was fairly obvious...

In a slightly more decent turn of events, Jaina is watching an episode of Maury on paternity test results. Ben and Jaina discuss how awkward it would be to be on one of these shows themselves. Leto and Ben discuss Leto's plans for graduation and Ben's injuries. Karla falls all over Ben, and he wants to know if she's on drugs. Yes.

I suggest none of our students touch a brownie anywhere in the near future. Leto and Jaina also talk about their graduation plans; he's going straight on home. Karla's sad to see him leave, but invites him along on a trip. Then Karla continues to confuse Jaina by talking about her own world in conjunction with paternity tests. Hm...

Deadpool: You should tell her about your family's attempts at that crap!

Cable: I think it might be wise if the students don't have to deal with my family tree...

Deadpool: HI, MOM IN LAW! Giiiirls with Guns weren't bein' kinky, they talked about safety. There was some minglin' and shootin'. An' Tom Cruise hobo was there as well.

Frosty had ice cream and bad tv and might be PMSing, I dunno over in a common room. Azula showed up and needed to be told why it's such a crappy show. Momoko of the awesome candy showed up, asking for Obi-Azula's help with setting her kitten on fire. Maybe. Shulkie asked if he got dumped, but no, it was just a bad, no good, horrible week. Bobby and Jean are happy she's not a bird and then they start talking about him and I have diabetes now. Christ on a cracker. Kennedy told him he looks like crap in that kinda way of hers and they talk about evil lizards.

Town

Deadpool: Marcus 'Mysteriouso' Wright showed up in the junkyard to a bad day. Oh, and Puppy ran off to find a monster souvenir for Ino on the beach. The mullet scared himself with a book at ye olde hat shoppe, Lion-o tried to get his staff to set up outdoor seating in the awesome weather, Naomi was at wooork, and Tweety avoided mail from colleges at the flower shop that needs more whores.

Ask Bruce. He'll tell ya.

Kate was in the park, enjoyin' the weather before chattin' up Didi about flamingos and their rage. Katchoo sketched at work before Sassy pants and Karla showed up. One about babies and the other about a trip. Sophie worked on an exhibit before her girlfriend Dani Reese stopped in. Awwww.

Cable: Beka sets up for a training session at Atlas Gym, while Alex Cabot sorted out what kind of pet a lawyer would need. I'd say it sticks to the range everyone else has, miss Cabot... Karla stops by to discuss a legal issue with her. Such as providing drugs to unsuspecting teenagers?

Dru looks through some books, while Shelley's late to Pixie Dust. Ino took a look at the weapons. Doctor Jones was working on her post-invasion paperwork. Same to you, doctor. Alice listened to thoroughly random music at Groovy Tunes. It confused Kyle when he came in. A man named Marcus showed up on the causeway, spooking Kyle. Hm. Finally, Marshall was late to Caritas, but not late enough to avoid serving Marcus.

Deadpool: And that's all, folks! Enjoy your kinky lives.

Cable: Eat responsibly next time. If anyone is aware of the identity of who left the brownies at Magic Reserves, please let an authority figure know.