Hey, folks, good morning, and welcome back to the world of the living. Hope you've been spending the past few days recuperating I haven't from the last few weeks.

Anyway, I'm happy to report our squirrels are doing fine--

*loud chittering*

--and we're here to serve you up another big splat of the news of the day.



SCHOOL

It's finals week at Fandom High, and Professor Caffrey's hoping to see everyone learned how to forge his signature. That's one way to do it. Some people passed, some didn't.

There's always next term.

The Arts of Peace and War attempts to cute its finals up with kittens. I'm sure my brother was terribly excited about it. The lecture was short, the getting kittens to do your bidding was less so, and if Professor Atreides and Professor Shunsui did their jobs right, so was the part where the students talked about what they learned.

Finally, true to form, Professor Madrox gives his students five minutes to finish their finals, which consists of the terribly philosophical question, what does a doorknob taste like? Oooh, hard one. I wonder what his failure rate is going to be. After that, the students are exposed to some monstrosity of a film called The Fandom Chicken, which Claudia bootlegs. After questioning by Jamie, she explains it's mostly to make someone's head explode.

That's where your tax dollars are going, folks.

The library was quiet - with Gabrielle cleaning, and the exchange of pastries between her and our librarian. Nice work last week, ma'am. Same kudos go to our principal, who can take all the time in the world to enjoy her office, as far as I'm concerned.

DORMS

On the second floor, my brother decided to crash out on the couch and watch some English documentary about life. Okay. Annie had some trouble explaining to her mom why apparently she never made it home - and this is why we should start training our parents to take 'whims of Fandom' for an answer - then crowed about the joys of her pink snuggie to Jack Carter. Whatever makes you happy. Meanwhile, in Steph's room, dramatic music started playing as Topher came in, and... apologized?

You didn't misspell this or anything, right?

*offended chittering*

You're so full of rum I can smell it from ten paces. Can't blame me for questioning you. Anyway, Topher apologized. Breaking news, everybody. Good work, kid.

TOWN

Professor Atreides had the fortune of receiving a call from an old friend, telling her that he was okay and everything was back to normal. Now that's the kind of news we like to hear. Professor Rogers had it rougher - apparently some intruders turned up. That turned out okay, though, as he clocked one with his shield. That's the kind of initiative we like to see, Professor Rogers!

Quinn and Shira were both at work, dealing with the consequences of the island being recently reconnected to the outside world.

Across town, our new batch of thespians got one more rehearsal before the upcoming showcase. The thespians in question were all in a better mood than last time, not that I think that bears noting, squirrels, and got their rehearsals on. Tara worried about changing her song because someone awful just sung it on TV, but everyone talked her out of it because her version is terribly heartwarming. Jono got a call from Karla, who missed rehearsal to be elsewhere. Shouting ensued. I hear that's a consequence of talking to Karla. He then turned around and checked on Raven, who checked on him. Juliet begged Troy to let her perform despite her absences. Apparently he was vulnerable to this, because he said yes, as long as she thinks she's ready. Why, I'm getting more interested in seeing this thing every day...

That's back to normal radio for you, folks. Check in again tomorrow for more news on WTFH radio, squirrels willing!