Do-do-dooo! It's the big Texas Butters Show! And here he is, Biiiiiig Texas Butters!

Well, howdy, there, pardners, I'm Biiiiig Texas Butters! And these are my squirrels, Rockem and Sockem! ♪ Happy Traaaaails to you! ♪ It's August, pardners, so let's give a big ol' HOWDY to a new month and a new batch of notes for a great show of news, news, and more news! But first, a song to get us started.

And now, the news!



Sunday at SCHOOL means Raven in the library, except this time she's got a kitty, which the squirrels assure us isn't her boyfriend, which is real good, because people shouldn't date pets. My friend Stan can tell you call about that.

HI STAN!!!

Over at CAMP, Percy was bein' a broody little bitch again in his alcove and got annoyed at Miley for callin' him Perseus and yelly at Topher about what he found on YouTube yesterday, because apparently, it was so gosh darn amazing tha the had to get up and flee right out of the cabin!

Kate was bein' kind of a girl by readin' gossip magazines, and Topher came in to talk to her about what he found on YouTube, and she got real, real pissed at him because he wouldn't let it go, so I bet it has something to do with her and I think now we should all definitely ask Topher about it . And Kate! We should start a club, I got all sorts of great YouTube videos of me you should see!

Oh, also, Kate punched Topher in the face. Someone should put that on YouTube. Hahahaha!

Bod was readin' in his alcove, and Kate came in and said they should go to Hawaii because she punched Topher and maybe there's no YouTube in Hawaii. Bod said sure, because it's Hawaii.

Peter was doin' some work by the Foul Bachelor Frog campfire, and Topher told him about being punched, not by Kate, I don't think that happened yet, but by some chick named Ramona, and maybe Topher's just got a thing for gettin' punched by girls. Crazy Kenzi who likes to blow up my things wanted to put a video of Topher and Tony on YouTube, which just seems like now she's asking to be punched. I gave Peter some career advice, because I know it's hard out there for a pimp, and Tony talked to Peter about technology and our latest location.

Tony and Topher talked about their gremlin bite experience before talking about a lot of porn, because Topher thinks Tony's girlfriend has bad taste. Probably because she doesn't punch Tony enough. Wham bam, thank you ma'am. And Kenzi teased Tony about the gremlin bite, too, just because she's a crazy bitch. But at least Passive Aggressive Panda, the Kate who isn't punchig people over YouTube videos was makin' sausage and polishing her sword. Now that's a YouTube video! And Bruce teased her about her bein' all domestic except for the sword, but I bet a sword could be real handy in a kitchen.

Over in TOWN, Firekeeper's got no boots at Turtle & Canary isn't wearin' boots, neither, but he is knockin' stuff over. Jim whistles while he works at Fixer Uppers before Ariel came in to get him to let her borrow her surfer, but he said he'd take her out for a ride on his lunch break and distracts her with talkin' about some new stuff he's been workin' on. Mr. Carrick's in town scopin' out his brand new shiny restuarant, which Momoko sure was excited to see.

The movies have Mr. Mitchell sighing again at the movie theater, which set up the mood for Kate comin' on by to complain about how it hurts when you hit some people. I think that's a way of life tellin' you that it's not nice to hit people, Kate, no matter how much they like it.

And Mr. Priest had the doors open at Caritas to welcome in the warm air, but warm air's about all he got.



And that's our broadcast for the day! And please, no one punch me for sayin' anything I did.

Big Texas Butters out!

♪ Happy Trails to yooo-- ♪

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